Shane Edward Nokes (DOB 05/19/1981) Facts

[Salted Earth Truffle]

Do the math

The fact that Shane Nokes can’t do basic equations yet tells others to “Do the math” is way too on the nose. This is why I thought he had to be a parody account at first. But no; his entire life is really that much of a joke.

 

[PickleRickle]

lol he's so hurt right now he's in unrelated fable 2 arguments trying to recoup his ego wound. What a raging lunatic.

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

lol he's so hurt right now he's in unrelated fable 2 arguments trying to recoup his ego wound. What a raging lunatic.

Even worse: Tweeting nonstop with zero engagement isn’t something he does in his free time. ALL his time is free time. Twitter is literally his (unpaid) occupation. How can a man live with himself when he’s contributing nothing to the world but methane gas? He should be dead of shame instead of bragging about being a NEET and mentioning his supposed child rape to total strangers, all in the hopes of winning a Twitter spat.

Shane Nokes has an utterly empty life. The only reason he gets out of bed in the morning is to tweet and stuff his face with junk.

 

[AliceWorquer]

he has three residences (sink count unknown)
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he commutes between Portland and Seattle despite being unemployed "retired"
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his BMI is normal, not overweight
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Shane is so emasculated he can't even tell people to kill themselves, has to say "do the math" so he doesn't get groudned by his daddy Elon

hey Shane, do the math of your BMI again, I don't think you are very good at math at all, ask an adult for help like you do with paying for necessities

Shane Edward Nokes is mentally incapable of doing basic math

Lol, fat Shane thinks he weighs 5lbs less than fat rick said he weighed on strictly stalking. Nobody spam this at Patrick.
What is it with these fat guys thinking they top out at around 220? Do they think nobody has eyes?

 

[Oogie Farts 1488]

Wow, he should kill himself

 

[Easily_Remembered]

I would rather live out my days as a legless amputee with the slowest, most painful form of cancer eating away at me than live a day as Paul Weimer, Jon Frimann or Shane Nokes.

Shane's mother was a disease ridden whore who pleasured various men of color and truckers in order to pay her rent and satiate her many addictions - and even this was less humiliating than the genetic gutterball she shat out from her abused, oozing womanhood.

Shane I don't buy the sodomizing butterknife story because you and your mother were poor white trash, and there's no way you could afford cutlery. You were raped by a KFC spork, which you then washed and used again.

Your Mother had more men inside her than the YMCA. She had more miles on her than Pat's Rustang. But at least now she's free of the burden that is you, and is made anew in the presence of the Lord Jesus. You don't even have that. You're such a fat, token Redditor that you have that same atheist attitude every fat guy on the internet has (there's NOTHING special or unique about you).

You're miserable here and you'll be miserable in the afterlife.

And you deserve it.

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

Lol, fat Shane thinks he weighs 5lbs less than fat rick said he weighed on strictly stalking. Nobody spam this at Patrick.
What is it with these fat guys thinking they top out at around 220? Do they think nobody has eyes?

No, child. I am not a morbidly obese shitstain on humanity’s boxer briefs. I’m sorry you’re stupid.

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

Shane's mother was a disease ridden whore who pleasured various men of color and truckers in order to pay her rent and satiate her many addictions - and even this was less humiliating than the genetic gutterball she shat out from her abused, oozing womanhood.

Shane’s mother Sharon is sucking Satan’s cock in hell. The upside is that it keeps her too busy to look up at her failure son’s pathetic life.

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

What’s extra funny to me is that the people I know in tech who actually do work for MSFT — people with words like global and worldwide in their job titles — admit to being embarrassed to work there. Microsoft hasn’t been an employer of choice for nearly 20 years. People who couldn’t get hired at Apple and couldn’t even raise a friends and family round of funding for their startup idea shuffle off to Redmond in resignation. They buy beautiful homes on Mercer Island and get salaries of close to a million dollars a year, plus bonuses and equity — but they’d still rather be working anywhere else that would compensate them as well.

But Shane Nokes is proud of working for a contractor that got him onto the Microsoft campus to do entry level tech support. He’s proud of having been a cashier at the Microsoft store.

Or maybe he’s not proud. After all, he did his best to hide the fact that he’d only done intern-level shift work and ran a cash register. Shane Nokes has never had a job that paid anything but an hourly rate — and it’s still his proudest achievement.

Seriously, who amongst us wouldn’t fellate the business end of a pistol in the same circumstances? Fuck, he’s pathetic.

Lol Shane tweeted a screenshot of this but couldn’t bring himself to include any disparaging comments about his religion, the cult of Microsoft. He cropped those out since he’s convinced Daddy Bill is going to check out his tweets someday. I’m surprised Shane hasn’t yet claimed to have inspired a character in Microserfs.

 

[MySecondFatterAccount]

Lol Shane tweeted a screenshot of this but couldn’t bring himself to include any disparaging comments about his religion, the cult of Microsoft. He cropped those out since he’s convinced Daddy Bill is going to check out his tweets someday. I’m surprised Shane hasn’t yet claimed to have inspired a character in Microserfs.

Its bizarre how much of brand loyal retard he is. Honestly surprised he doesnt have a xbox or mtn dew tattoo.

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

Shane Nokes can’t fly without TWO seatbelt extenders. Good thing he’s so lazy that he’ll never earn the money for an airline ticket. I really cannot imagine waking up every day with the full realization that my life itself is completely dependent on strangers. How can he even look at himself in the mirror without dying of shame?

Each one of my children had earned more by the age of six than Shane has earned in his entire life. Hell, my nephew with Down Syndrome has held down a job for over 15 years and lives independently, in a home he finances with money he earns himself. Shane sits on Twitter with his thumb up his ass all day, tweeting about his supposed achievements at age 2.

Here’s a pointer for you, Shane: I’m paying your way in life and whatever you supposedly did as a toddler matters way less than the fact you refuse to support yourself like a man. Please kill yourself.

Damn, your nephew is RAD (Real Ass Downie)

 

[BoomerSperg]

Even worse: Tweeting nonstop with zero engagement isn’t something he does in his free time. ALL his time is free time. Twitter is literally his (unpaid) occupation. How can a man live with himself when he’s contributing nothing to the world but methane gas? He should be dead of shame instead of bragging about being a NEET and mentioning his supposed child rape to total strangers, all in the hopes of winning a Twitter spat.

Shane Nokes has an utterly empty life. The only reason he gets out of bed in the morning is to tweet and stuff his face with junk.

It's still hard to believe he's a real person.

You'd think someone this obsessed with the xbox would actually play xbox games at some point.

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

to his credit, he tried REALLY hard to solve that simple math formula, it just was far too complex for his very low cognitive level

he failed at it MULTIPLE TIMES
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I think the fact that he kept attempting to do it shows perseverance, he doesn't let his low math skills stop him from TRYING

the fact that he came up with a percentage when tehre isn't any such thing on the formula shows CREATIVITY

god for you Shane! you're very SPECIAL!

(he'll ignore this because he's busy eating 2000 extra calories he doesn't need, nothing personal)

what is with in denial fats and the leg press cope? They all do this "well I can press a lot at the easiest of compound leg exercises, so i'm all muscle!"

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

What’s extra funny to me is that the people I know in tech who actually do work for MSFT — people with words like global and worldwide in their job titles — admit to being embarrassed to work there. Microsoft hasn’t been an employer of choice for nearly 20 years. People who couldn’t get hired at Apple and couldn’t even raise a friends and family round of funding for their startup idea shuffle off to Redmond in resignation. They buy beautiful homes on Mercer Island and get salaries of close to a million dollars a year, plus bonuses and equity — but they’d still rather be working anywhere else that would compensate them as well.

But Shane Nokes is proud of working for a contractor that got him onto the Microsoft campus to do entry level tech support. He’s proud of having been a cashier at the Microsoft store.

Or maybe he’s not proud. After all, he did his best to hide the fact that he’d only done intern-level shift work and ran a cash register. Shane Nokes has never had a job that paid anything but an hourly rate — and it’s still his proudest achievement.

Seriously, who amongst us wouldn’t fellate the business end of a pistol in the same circumstances? Fuck, he’s pathetic.

yea that's where his 'retired' larp fails. No way was he making enough money to be legitimately retired and when he worked there it's not like he could make a fortune by taking stock options instead of bonuses because the Stock had already jumped massively in price decades before. my guess is he had some other source of money that ruins his special genius image so he doesn't mention it. He so desperately wants to because that'll check mate the trolls but he knows if we find out his fat mother just left him her house after she wilford brimley'd herself out of existence that wouldn't look as cool

Shane’s mother Sharon is sucking Satan’s cock in hell. The upside is that it keeps her too busy to look up at her failure son’s pathetic life.

she became a born against christian on her death bed just so she would have the satisfaction of never seeing shane again for all eternity.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

what is with in denial fats and the leg press cope? They all do this "well I can press a lot at the easiest of compound leg exercises, so i'm all muscle!"

It’s amazing how he can do everything but get a job!

 

[SFWA liaison]

it's been three months, fatso, are you ever going to do anything with all the information other than tweet back at us? is that the "Nightmare" HAHAHHAA you're HARMLESS

remember when you begged someone ACTUALLY KNOLEDGABLE do something with Null's crypto addresses because you're clueless about anything remotely technical? like a woman?



he continues to ignore his BMI, not out of shame for being obese, but out of shame for middle school math being way above his IQ in his 40s

that's really embarrassing for a cybersecurity expert, I'd ignore it as well if I had a mental retardation

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

yea that's where his 'retired' larp fails. No way was he making enough money to be legitimately retired and when he worked there it's not like he could make a fortune by taking stock options instead of bonuses because the Stock had already jumped massively in price decades before. my guess is he had some other source of money that ruins his special genius image so he doesn't mention it. He so desperately wants to because that'll check mate the trolls but he knows if we find out his fat mother just left him her house after she wilford brimley'd herself out of existence that wouldn't look as cool


she became a born against christian on her death bed just so she would have the satisfaction of never seeing shane again for all eternity.

The KF guys suggest he was let go by Microsoft (he had posted something about HR not getting back to him about his “release”) and to him working for Microsoft - even if it was a low paid position - was the highlight of his life so he tells himself he retired. He sat on unemployment and eventually got approved for disability so in his mind he retired even though he’s on disability which he considers social security. I doubt he even owns much stock of MSFT if any. He claims he gets residual checks for the work he did on games but we all know that’s pretty far fetched.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

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it's been three months, fatso, are you ever going to do anything with all the information other than tweet back at us? is that the "Nightmare" HAHAHHAA you're HARMLESS

remember when you begged someone ACTUALLY KNOLEDGABLE do something with Null's crypto addresses because you're clueless about anything remotely technical? like a woman?
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he continues to ignore his BMI, not out of shame for being obese, but out of shame for middle school math being way above his IQ in his 40s

that's really embarrassing for a cybersecurity expert, I'd ignore it as well if I had a mental retardation

He told Pats toilet it was going to prison for at least 35 years and there’s nothing it can do to stop it. That was over 3 months ago and once we all laughed at his internet police nonsense he dropped the prison threats. Now he’s afraid to tell us to kill ourselves Because he got a twitter suspension and had to delete tweets.

 

[Guest]

Shane Edward Nokes (DOB 05/19/1981) kidnapped 7-year old Kyron Horman on June 4, 2010 and raped him to death with a Mountain Dew bottle.

Kyron’s parents deserve justice.
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Fuck that’s heartbreaking. If Shane really did this he deserves the death penalty.

 

[SFWA liaison]

Fuck that’s heartbreaking. If Shane really did this he deserves the death penalty.

do they make double-wide electric chairs? (Shane suffers from obesity)

I think he doesn't have to worry anyway, the supreme court says they can't give the death penalty to mental retards, and he has ample evidence he can't do basic grade school math at 42 (his BMI calculations, he's obese)