- Forum Clout
- 52,177
Man, you are fat as fuck. Thats actually the least of your worries, Shane-O Drink Draino.
-
Recently, onaforums has taken to opening a substack. You can subscribe to this substack to get email notifications when the site is down, gets a new domain name, or is otherwise running into trouble. We are not accepting donations at this time, so please skip the part where it asks if you would like to contribute. Subscribe at onaforums.substack.com
-
Reminder: Do not call, text, or mention harrassing someone in real life. Do not encourage it. Do not talk about killing or using violence against anyone, or engaging in any criminal behavior. If it is not an obvious joke even when taken out of context, don't post it. Please report violators. If you want your account deleted, send a private message to @BlackTransLivesMatter
Do not post IRL pranks here without including the source
DMCA, complaints, and other inquiries:
[email protected]
Shane Edward Nokes (DOB 05/19/1981) Facts
- Thread starter Pringle Can Lothario
- Start date
- Forum Clout
- 41,085
The utter lack of engagement on his tweets always makes me smile. I’m sure your crush Pattie Cakes is going to notice you soon, Shane! You’ll be true friends anytime now!
Shane really is a literal retard. He’ll never have the IQ points to understand that no one takes seriously a jobless, witless freak who claims everyone he dislikes is a Nazi pedophile. Not even Pat will acknowledge him!
Shane has put literally more effort into trying to win Pat’s attention and approval the past week than he’s put into dental hygiene or supporting himself financially in his entire life. He’s not gonna fuck you, bro. No wonder your mother killed herself rather than watch you continue to live as a shiftless welfare queen.
Screenshot THAT and tweet it, you fat moron. Fuck, you’re dumb.
- Forum Clout
- 49,840
Little warning
- Forum Clout
- 41,085
He’s also a fucking liar. Shane has a pannus, AKA fat apron AKA apron belly. He stuffed it into his jeans as if that would make the bulge invisible. He’s at least 260 and that’s being more charitable than he deserves.
Do a livestream from your scale, Shane. Let us see your fat feet planted on it properly while you stand without leaning onto the wall for support. Do it, you coward bitch.
Spoiler alert: Shane is a shameless liar as well as a morbidly obese coward. He’ll never let anyone see him be correctly weighed.
If only Shane would put as much effort into earning an income as he does into trying to earn respect online. Imagine your life being as utterly fucked as Shane Nokes’ is. He would kill himself if he wasn’t such a bed-wetting coward.
- Forum Clout
- 49,840
Real life po po here. Shane’s a good 270-280 on a good day.
- Forum Clout
- 113,385
he'll ignore the weight stuff like he ignores the million other shit he has been caught red handed LARPing about
it's really not hard math at all, a fifth grader can do the formula. Even by his bizarre 220lbs claim he's STILL obese
weight (lb) / [height (in)]2 x 703
"220" / 72^2 x 703
= 29.8
but yeah realistically he's at least 270 so BMI of 36.6 (morbidly obese farm animal)
but above all, incapable of completing a SIMPLE math formula with two variables, this is just plain lack of intellect
he'll ignore this, watch
- Forum Clout
- 52,177
This nigger is 350 lbs. I dont care.
- Forum Clout
- 49,840
I like how I’ve baited him into multiple reportable tweets.
Posting PII on Twitter is against the TOS, semen stain.
Posting PII on Twitter is against the TOS, semen stain.
- Forum Clout
- 41,085
But Shane Nokes is way dumber than a fifth grader. He didn’t even graduate high school. I’m not surprised he can’t do a simple equation. I’m more surprised that he figured out how to open a Twitter account.
Fuck, he’s a dumb waste of human life.
- Forum Clout
- 43,012
Officer Boykin, in your professional opinion, would Portland Pederast Shane Nokes require double cuffs?
- Forum Clout
- 41,085
Shane Nokes can’t fly without TWO seatbelt extenders. Good thing he’s so lazy that he’ll never earn the money for an airline ticket. I really cannot imagine waking up every day with the full realization that my life itself is completely dependent on strangers. How can he even look at himself in the mirror without dying of shame?
Each one of my children had earned more by the age of six than Shane has earned in his entire life. Hell, my nephew with Down Syndrome has held down a job for over 15 years and lives independently, in a home he finances with money he earns himself. Shane sits on Twitter with his thumb up his ass all day, tweeting about his supposed achievements at age 2.
Here’s a pointer for you, Shane: I’m paying your way in life and whatever you supposedly did as a toddler matters way less than the fact you refuse to support yourself like a man. Please kill yourself.
- Forum Clout
- 113,385
to his credit, he tried REALLY hard to solve that simple math formula, it just was far too complex for his very low cognitive level
he failed at it MULTIPLE TIMES
I think the fact that he kept attempting to do it shows perseverance, he doesn't let his low math skills stop him from TRYING
the fact that he came up with a percentage when tehre isn't any such thing on the formula shows CREATIVITY
god for you Shane! you're very SPECIAL!
(he'll ignore this because he's busy eating 2000 extra calories he doesn't need, nothing personal)
- Forum Clout
- 52,177
Yeah, but did you know he got to play a buggy shitty version of the worst fable game?
- Forum Clout
- 41,085
Instead of tweeting and posting his preschool GPA on Reddit all day, he should take some remedial math classes. Online, of course, since this fat fuck never logs off the internet or interacts with other adults offline. Just Shane in his Section 8 hovel, hoping that he’ll someday “win” enough online fights to feel like a man.
Spoiler alert: He never will. Welfare queens never do.
- Forum Clout
- 49,840
I’m thinking three sets. You would not believe how these layabouts get work-related shoulder problems from not working.
- Forum Clout
- 41,085
Muscle atrophy from total lack of exercise will do that. Shane has nothing but time on his hands to get in shape. But he just can’t put the fork down or get off his fat ass. If only he could wear a screen around his neck, he might actually leave the house from time to time. Instead he stuffs himself full of food paid for by hardworking men and women, single mothers and POC who have nothing to save for their futures because Shane Nokes is too fucking lazy to work.
He really should throw himself in front of a train. But that would require getting up from the computer and leaving his Section 8 hovel.
- Forum Clout
- 113,385
more and more complicated ways to tell people to kill themselves without his daddy Elon grounding him for another week
let me have a go at this suicide demanding:
"SHANE, continue having the eating habits you have had your entire adult life until its logical conclusion"
the fact that you're mentally incapable of calculating your BMI doesn't change the effects on your health
calculate it Shane, do the math!
let me have a go at this suicide demanding:
"SHANE, continue having the eating habits you have had your entire adult life until its logical conclusion"
the fact that you're mentally incapable of calculating your BMI doesn't change the effects on your health
calculate it Shane, do the math!
G
guest
Guest
He’s like a 40 bmi and asshole Shane, you tested Xbox games at the very most sorry fatty.
Last edited by a moderator:
- Forum Clout
- 24,431
I'm an inch or two over 6' and ~20lbs less than what he's CLAIMING to weigh, and there's just no way. He's twice my size at least.
Lying fatty.
Lying fatty.
- Forum Clout
- 113,385
yeah the nazis are totally in shambles over your repetitive suicide-demanding tweets that you can't even articualte for FEAR of losing your only outlet for tard rage in life for another week.
do the math shane, calculate your BMI for us, or maybe you are too mentally challenged to solve it? do you need help?
Last edited: