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"This Is Actually Happening" episode about Pat, narrated by Pat!

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/r/TIAHpodcast is on fire
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THEORY this was recorded last years around the same time as Pretend: (they married 2017) and the producer cancelled the ep because it was trash and disjointed (pat didn't prepare)

Pat gets offended he wasted time out of his busy schedule for this.

Fast forward to October 2024, producer can't meet his deadline, takes this trash of an ep out of the drawer to save the day. Pat remains offended and thus doesn't brag on social media
One of the simple joys is seeing normal people come to an unprompted, non-solicited, organic conclusion that Pat is a problem. That he’s that transparent, even when he controls the narrative / can’t blame it on the stlaker child’s.
 

Rdrk

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Screenshot 2024-10-30 at 18.08.32.jpg


"Also, I talk at some length about that time I got cucked by a guy on a model building forum. It's not directly relevant to the story, I just thought it would help flesh out my character."
 

soulbrotherman#1

Specifically a quarter retarded
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13,952
Busted the curve, Child.
87th from a class of 113 tractor driving bumpkins.

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Holy shit, does that mean there were 26 people who got worse grades than Fatrick?

I don't even know how you could do that on purpose, you'd have to know the answers to things just so you don't accidentally get them correct on tests and beat out Pat
 

Sue Lightning

IS SHE TALKING ABOUT ME?
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Basically yes. Early on he says he always got on better with adults than with other kids during his school days.
Its easy to understand why he has the ego he does. He’s walked around in life believing he’s gifted and smarter and older than the other kids. Nice basing your entire concept of self worth on how people treated you when you were 7, stupid
 

IGotATreeOnMyHouse85

Stand Alone Fruit
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237,902
Its easy to understand why he has the ego he does. He’s walked around in life believing he’s gifted and smarter and older than the other kids. Nice basing your entire concept of self worth on how people treated you when you were 7, stupid
Usually the kids like this learn eventually nobody likes someone that behaves the way he does. But Pat is 44 and lives to be an annoying know-it-all (while knowing nothing), a “can I speak to your manager?” Karen type, lives to tell people “I told you so” which nobody wants to hear, and is a total narcissist that believes he’s above others because he’s so amazing and special while being neither of those things.

It’s amazing - he has every awful characteristic imaginable. Don’t forget - he would rather be right than happy. What kind of life is that?
 

TorquieTwoBeers

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26,336
This whole interview lends credence to the two-girl-virgin theory. He lived in a town of only 1,200 people, was a self-described outcast in school, doesn’t mention any first girlfriend til Ade.

He may have had a sexual Renaissance in college (ie banged frumpy trailer trash) but he’s never alluded to getting any ass in college before.

Then Ade.

He went on a grand total of three dates before his “one night stand” with big Nick. Seriously doubt any of those ended in victories.

This nigga’s a two-girl virgin.
He's very helpfully given us a great timeline.

1980-1998 - growing up and in high school. He's claimed before that he lost his virginity during the re-release of the Star Wars movies in 1997. So let's say his count at this point is one woman

1998 - 2001 - in college, but he's never mentioned any women from this time so I'm comfortable saying zero women

2001 - July 2011 - dating/married to Adrienne - one woman

July 2011 - September 2011 - his "burried in strange" "Old Testament Sex God" phase. Umprompted, he gives us information here that he only went on two "first dates" in this period before Niki. It's likely zero women but for the benefit of the doubt let's give him both of these women, so add two women

September 2011 - present - with Niki - one woman

So, barring some weird bout of sexcapades between 1998 - 2001, the absolute most women Pat has been with is five. Reminder that he has claimed seventeen as his number before. Fat, gay liar.
 
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