The Abe Vigoda Canadian Thanksgiving Spectacular Megathread

[Turk February]

They shaved my head, made my body a weapon, they taught me how to die in the name of Stephen Harper. Deloused me daily. Sent me to Brantford which was a war zone. Took me a long time to find peace after

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I also faked spitting on him as a joke once, like inhaled the spit but made a spitting sound, and I swear he was going to fucking murder me. I was not particularly street smart at that time.

Yeah, that's profoundly stupid. I used to do a thing on the bus in school where if the person sitting in front of me had longer hair I'd blow and push my finger across my mouth fast so it felt and sounded exactly like I spit in their hair. They were all pussies though.

 

[Turk February]

We would buy donuts and throw them out the window of the school bus at passing cars. If we got caught we'd blame Mattz who was a neighbor that did not participate. "I was only eating the donuts!" Still makes me laugh.

 

[CQ Beans]

Actually, the Canadian military practices a martial art called Punch Kick BDSM. As we are all conscripted at 16 we all know it.

Your fancy pants martial arts didn’t save you from the Battle of New Orleans. Which incidentally had no effect on the treaty of Ghent. I’m not sure where I’m going with this.

 

[Turk February]

There was one psychopath kid named Dustin who threw an unopened can of coke at a guys windshield cuz he thought it was funny and we were like "dude, were fucking dumb, but we're not THAT dumb". Laughed anyways.

 

[Turk February]

Your fancy pants martial arts didn’t save you from the Battle of New Orleans. Which incidentally had no effect on the treaty of Ghent. I’m not sure where I’m going with this.

We will take all of it. You don't understand our patience as a culture. You think of 4 years at a time. We think about 150.

 

[Turk February]

My grandchildren will one day visit Manhattan, Ontario.

 

[Turk February]

Also important update. It's almost lunch time.

 

[CQ Beans]

We will take all of it. You don't understand our patience as a culture. You think of 4 years at a time. We think about 150.

Oh, really? Well I had sex with your wife!

 

[Turk February]

Oh, really? Well I had sex with your wife!

Jokes on you, I'm a massive cuck and that makes me cum. I'm from Waterloo, bitch.

 

[CQ Beans]

Also important update. It's almost lunch time.

What’s on the menu? I’m on board for a roast beef sandwich . Lettuce tomato Mayo on a fresh roll.

 

[CQ Beans]

Jokes on you, I'm a massive cuck and that makes me cum. I'm from Waterloo, bitch.

Yeah, well… they’re runnin’ outta you!

 

[Turk February]

What’s on the menu? I’m on board for a roast beef sandwich . Lettuce tomato Mayo on a fresh roll.

You know what. I might go Arby's. You've inspired me.

 

[CQ Beans]

You know what. I might go Arby's. You've inspired me.

I wish I’d inspired ya to put some pants on for God’s sake! Don’t go out like that.

 

[Turk February]

I wish I’d inspired ya to put some pants on for God’s sake! Don’t go out like that.

Lol. Why would I go out. I have delivery and 4000 dollars from the government with zero accountability.

 

[Turk February]

Btw id like to apologize to @TheGhostOfAbeVigoda I am pretty sure you're in Ontario and pay taxes. I am fucking robbing the government, and by extension you. It's just how I roll.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Btw id like to apologize to @TheGhostOfAbeVigoda I am pretty sure you're in Ontario and pay taxes. I am fucking robbing the government, and by extension you. It's just how I roll.

I want $4000 of government free-money

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I want $4000 of government free-money

I could really use it right now actually. There's a set of five Elvis Jim Beam decanters on ebay for $5000

 

[Turk February]

I could really use it right now actually. There's a set of five Elvis Jim Beam decanters on ebay for $5000

Just claim to be retarded. The provincial government will bomb you with money even if you have a job.

 

[CQ Beans]

Lol. Why would I go out. I have delivery and 4000 dollars from the government with zero accountability.

Could you at least pants up for your Nigerian roommate’s sake. Christ almighty…