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Also I think I'm too fucked up to go out right now. I have no idea why I'm even on dating sites. I just really, really wanna fuck. I should call up a whore.
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The Abe Vigoda Canadian Thanksgiving Spectacular Megathread
- Thread starter TheGhostOfAbeVigoda
- Start date
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There's like 10s in Toronto that go for only 150 bucks. I have studied this. Very closely. Very fucking closely.
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Oh fuck. It's lunchtime. What will it be today!?
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Is there anywhere you can just get a nice Mac n Chee? I got the most balling Mac n Chee I've ever had at my butcher shop the other day. It was impossibly cheesey.
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I just had a brilliant idea. Do you think if I get a submissive whore to clean my apartment and quick cum on her back for 150 bucks? I think it would solve all my problems.
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I want to eat something that was alive and aware it was being killed today. Cow or pig.
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That's fucking genius actually.
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If whores wanted to work they'd get a real job
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That's a good point.
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Tuesday night. After I pay rent I might actually do this.
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I'll make it a BDSM thing.
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Pay her to make you clean it up while you call her Mxtress
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This is a rare piece of solid advice from me. I suggest you take it (that's two)
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Whenever I get hookers I get them to wail me in the gooch with a wiffleball bat. But ONLY the gooch. If they fuck up and hit my balls or God forbid, my asshole (I'm not a fag) I become violent and they get paid in knuckle sammiches.
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Never been to a whore but I had a really aggressive black one follow me all the way through Rideau Centre one day. I'm going "The sun is out! I'm completely sober! How you finna try?!"
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It's hard to find my cigarettes under the empties and I'm laughing out loud about it. Life is fucking absurd sometimes.
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Honestly I think we only really have lot lizards around here and they ain't lookers.
Should also add I've never fucked a lot lizard. I'd rather get shot in the face.
Should also add I've never fucked a lot lizard. I'd rather get shot in the face.
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The Rideau Centre whore wasn't bad looking tbh. Well-spoken, wasn't dressed like a whore. She was probably trying to lead me somewhere so her Somalian brothers could rob me. Turry's no fucking idiot
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I saw a guy throw a bottle of whiskey at a security guard to steal another bottle of whiskey at the Rideau once. Ottawa people are nuts.
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Was it you as seen through a mirror?