The Abe Vigoda Canadian Thanksgiving Spectacular Megathread

[Turk February]

I'm kind of hungry again.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I was craving Pizza Pops for some reason so I went and got some. Now I'm ruizing on Jack Link's steak strips.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Sometimes I think I want a pizza pop and then I eat one and I'm like "This sucks."

 

[Turk February]

Sometimes I think I want a pizza pop and then I eat one and I'm like "This sucks."

Remember Hot Stuffs. I think they got discontinued.

 

[Turk February]

I know Schneiders which made them closed down but weirdly I still saw them pop up time to time.

 

[Turk February]

I told a girl on tinder who's a non smoker that I smoke so much "if you see me from a distance you'd think I'm on fire burning myself" thinking im being cute. No response. I bomb a lot.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Remember Hot Stuffs. I think they got discontinued.

Fawk yeah, they were the superior frozen food-pocket.

 

[Turk February]

Fawk yeah, they were the superior frozen food-pocket.

The pepperoni hot stuffs got me through high school. Thank you Schneiders Meats. Sorry for all the prank calls asking how big your wiener is.

 

[Turk February]

That used to be my standard prank call when I was 10.

 

[Turrdy Fawwwwwwk]

We'd call an internet cafe and order a cheeseburger to our email address and then flip out when they informed us that it couldn't be done.

 

[Turk February]

"now, I see the sausage is bigger. Can I put your sausage in my mouth?" It's amazing how little my sense of humor has changed

 

[Turk February]

Also before 9/11 me and my friend would constantly call bomb threats everywhere using 411 using payphones. Great time to be alive.

 

[Turk February]

This is super stupid but my buddy Dan once called a Walmart going "do you have a vacuum that sounds like this?" And blaring his vacuum cleaner into the phone. Kept them on the line for like 20 minutes too.

 

[Turk February]

I just wrote "you're pretty, that is all" on tinder then realized this can be taken deeply as an insult.

 

[Turk February]

What I meant was it's all I had to say, not that they had no other value.

 

[Turrdy Fawwwwwwk]

"You're nothing but a HOLE for me to JAM things into"

- PUA Turk

 

[Turk February]

"You're nothing but a HOLE for me to JAM things into"

- PUA Turk

Just smash through her wall. "What, bitch, im on fire, I'm horny" beat my head against her fridge

 

[Turk February]

"Also, I brought my friend Peen over. I don't know his real name but he needs to stay here for a few days "

 

[Turk February]

"it's okay. He's a cock sucking faggot. You got any beers?"

 

[Turk February]

Dating if I was completely honest with people would be so much fun.