The Abe Vigoda Canadian Thanksgiving Spectacular Megathread

[Turk February]

A Guyanese cricket champion tried to rape me once in Toronto. This genuinely happened. I pleaded with him that I have a girlfriend and I can't be unfaithful to her.

 

[Turrdy Fawwwwwwk]

Sounds awful. Full of easterners and other types of niggers

 

[Turrdy Fawwwwwwk]

I almost got raped by a huge fucking chav in Ottawa at the Black Irish Pub. Closest I ever came to stabbing somebody

 

[Turk February]

Then his wife wrapped on my door and went "I need to get high, can I use your bathroom" and she was just smoking crack. I genuinely went "Can't we all just watch Kiss Kiss Bang Bang with John Travolta? It's on Showtime"

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Then his wife wrapped on my door and went "I need to get high, can I use your bathroom" and she was just smoking crack. I genuinely went "Can't we all just watch Kiss Kiss Bang Bang with John Travolta? It's on Showtime"

John Travolta isn't in that

 

[Turk February]

Oh it's Val Kilmer. I always confuse them.

 

[Turrdy Fawwwwwwk]

Oh it's Val Kilmer. I always confuse them.

Don't let him gaslight you, Turk. You know the truth.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Val Kilmer killed it in Grease

 

[Turk February]

Val Kilmer killed it in Grease

Val Kilmer killed my sister in a sex incident.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I vividly remember renting several shitty John Travolta movies when I was a kid because they sucked so bad.

Michael: he played the archangel Michael. He tried to fight a bull. He fucked Andy MacDowell.

Eyes of an Angel: he's a loser dad who ends up with a doberman that was an ex fighting dog. I have no clue what the point of the movie is.

Phenomenon: he has alien cancer and can move shit with his mind.

 

[Turk February]

Important update: I still haven't ordered lunch cuz you COCKSUCKERS didn't tell me what to order.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Important update: I still haven't ordered lunch cuz you COCKSUCKERS didn't tell me what to order.

Get something with goat in it in honor of Boq

 

[Turk February]

Get something with goat in it in honor of Boq

I actually don't really like goat. It fucks pretty good but tastes like shit.

 

[Turrdy Fawwwwwwk]

Don't eat anything

 

[Turk February]

Don't eat anything

I gotta eat something. It's Christmas or whatever.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Shave your head and eyebrows and eat all the hair

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Shave your head and eyebrows and eat all the hair

It's food that you grew

 

[Turrdy Fawwwwwwk]

Try intermittent fasting for 72 hours

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Try intermittent fasting for 72 hours

No. Don't.

Eat your hair.

 

[Turk February]

Try intermittent fasting for 72 hours

I've gone 3 days without eating before. One time I was even sober. Hunger makes me really irrational.