Spaghetti Factory lore unlocked 🚨

Slackjawed Cow

I laugh at them because they're all the same.
Now it makes sense why you see Pat boozing alone at the events while others are drinking coffee / energy drinks - he sees himself as some party animal since he’s surrounded by dorks. It’s high school for him - except now he’s the cool party guy instead of the dork nobody likes. I can see him at the bar asking “what was the score of the X game? How much do you bench? Which way to the weight room?Dude - Packers are winning it all this year, right bros?!” And other obnoxious nonsense
He drinks excessively on a regular basis but when he goes to conventions he thinks thats when he can really let loose. All it means is that he starts drinking earlier than usual and is totally trashed by 3pm. He has no idea how much of an ass he makes of himself due to being so intoxicated. He thinks he looks like the cool guy while everyone else tries to keep a distance.
 

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

There's feral honkies in the Smoky Mountains
This story lines up with action Pat / bar fighter Pat stories that are all made up. Pat would never talk this way to guys in a bar because he would get his ass kicked - but here he believes he’s the big tough bar fighting beer drinking pro athlete because he’s surrounded by weak dorks like Uncle Paul.
It's also because it's always going to get separated at a function like that. Pat's not going to get himself thrown in jail for fist fighting at a fucking spaghetti restaurant. He doesn't actually want to fight, he just wants to appear tough to a bunch of abject losers.
 

Slackjawed Cow

I laugh at them because they're all the same.
It's also because it's always going to get separated at a function like that. Pat's not going to get himself thrown in jail for fist fighting at a fucking spaghetti restaurant. He doesn't actually want to fight, he just wants to appear tough to a bunch of abject losers.
Its still amazing to me that he doesnt get get punched in the mouth at a bar at least once a year.
 

Slackjawed Cow

I laugh at them because they're all the same.
It's because he'd never run his mouth there.
I used to think that but after hearing his meltdowns and seeing him get in the face of that guy while wearing the pink shirt. He just might get bold and lippy if something triggers the manbaby tantrums in him. If someone in a trump hat sat next to him at the bar he would totally make a scene.
 
I read it here so I immediately take it as fact. One thing Owen has shown me is that truth is stranger than fiction. The other is that I’m a gullible moron which I pretty much knew already. I choose to accept the glass being half full in this situation, however and that Patrick Tomlinson attempted to sexually assault two grown men while under the influence. Honestly, I just kinda skimmed this but that’s what I think it says.
 

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

There's feral honkies in the Smoky Mountains
I used to think that but after hearing his meltdowns and seeing him get in the face of that guy while wearing the pink shirt. He just might get bold and lippy if something triggers the manbaby tantrums in him. If someone in a trump hat sat next to him at the bar he would totally make a scene.
If that is the case then he definitely needs to get beat up and learn a lesson. He would take someone like Larry who could clearly fuck him up being like "I'm an adult, retard. I'm not fighting you in a family restaurant, get away from me." as a win like Larry was scared of him. "I called him an asshole and a child and he just took it. Fuckin' pussy!"
 
LOL he thinks hes some giga chad among pedophiles and mobility scooter bodies at these faggot conventions. Guy thinks everyone likes him but everyone talks shit on him the moment he leaves the room because hes so toxic.
Twitter is where we see how he wants to be to all people in real life. Glad its destroying your life Pat. The failure looks good on ya
 

RickReternal

I hope people Ouija you tweets after your dead
Why did pat square up with this dude? What's that background with Larry? Can someone Google this for me?
Larry’s conservative and a few years back may have been trawled into that puppies nonsense or some other science fiction author group controversy that Patrick thinks involved him because he was an author. Patrick’s crazy enough to pick a fight based on tweets, though…MAGA hats are capital offenses etc etc.

We're 5.5 years into this whole thing and still digging up embarrassing Pat lore.

God bless us, everyone!
There’s still the Florida years waiting for us…makes me glad.
 

UnPRePared

For the last time, I am NOT Donal Logue!
this is now canon

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Oh yes, child, I AM indeed thaT LieuTenanT Marion "Cobra" CobreTTi.
 

IGotATreeOnMyHouse85

Stand Alone Fruit
He drinks excessively on a regular basis but when he goes to conventions he thinks thats when he can really let loose. All it means is that he starts drinking earlier than usual and is totally trashed by 3pm. He has no idea how much of an ass he makes of himself due to being so intoxicated. He thinks he looks like the cool guy while everyone else tries to keep a distance.
The lonely Pat bar pictures at these cons you can tell he’s boozing as soon as the bar opens while others are having typical day time drinks (coffee, water, Gatorade, energy drinks, etc) and you can even see the natural day light from the nearby windows. Nobody else is drinking at that time except him. His ego is already out of control but at these cons where he’s “somebody” (to a bunch of nobodies) he actually believes he’s David Lee Roth or Motley Crue in the 80s
 

Slackjawed Cow

I laugh at them because they're all the same.
If that is the case then he definitely needs to get beat up and learn a lesson. He would take someone like Larry who could clearly fuck him up being like "I'm an adult, retard. I'm not fighting you in a family restaurant, get away from me." as a win like Larry was scared of him. "I called him an asshole and a child and he just took it. Fuckin' pussy!"
Whats also an odd behavior of pat, is if/when someone blows off his aggressive confrontations that pat chalks it up as a "win" . He convinces himself that he intimidated the person into backing down when in reality they just didnt want to entertain his childish argument he was trying to bait them into.
 

Slackjawed Cow

I laugh at them because they're all the same.
Unless there was an arrest, we'd never know if he did. Or if the person who socked him was aware of Pat's lolcow lore.
I have a hard time believing pat would be able to resist tweeting an embellished story about it. I suppose if he got the shit kicked out of him that he would never mention it and pretend it didnt happen.
 
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