I love that he's wasting so much time on this

[Stent]

Did you know Dickens wrote Bleak House at his favorite watering hole, Ye Olde Hooligans?

My audience craves a second rendition of the Bleak House universe to be published with all expediency. I have received a ticket for the trolley there from an avid aficionado. Did you hear that @theknickerbocker?

 

[Easily_Remembered]

Dickens would announce out his window how many words he had written that day to strangers who would ignore him.

I say! You there! Yes, the gentleman in the stovepipe hat! I have written five hundred words today! Quite the pretty penny it will earn me! I am now about to engage in amorous conduct with my bricky second wife!

STOVEPIPE HAT : "Bah! Stuff it, ye blowhard wankuh!"

DICKENS : "Street charlatan! Report and avert thine eyes!"

 

[Stent]

STOVEPIPE HAT : "Bah! Stuff it, ye blowhard wankuh!"

DICKENS : "Street charlatan! Report and avert thine eyes!"

Ladies and gentlemen! A street urchin absconds to the moon to eat taffy! What say you? Dare I write more?

 

[Easily_Remembered]

Ladies and gentlemen! A street urchin absconds to the moon to eat taffy! What say you? Dare I write more?

*a young punk walks onto the street wearing a shoddy facsimile of Dickens' clothing*

KID : "Look at me, everybody! I'm Charles Dickens! I'm a bleedin' pooftah!"

DICKENS : "No, rapscallion, you're not me! Impersonation urchin! Report to the authorities and pay him no heed!"

 

[victor_sanchez]

we should place bets on whether this will be a retelling of the christmas carol, but in space. maybe he'll make scrooge into a trump analog...

 

[TorquieTwoBeers]

*a young punk walks onto the street wearing a shoddy facsimile of Dickens' clothing*

KID : "Look at me, everybody! I'm Charles Dickens! I'm a bleedin' pooftah!"

DICKENS : "No, rapscallion, you're not me! Impersonation urchin! Report to the authorities and pay him no heed!"

STREET VENDOR: Real smashing buggy, sir! Could only afford the six horses, eh? Ironical considering the power needed to haul your ample carriage, you blue-nosed gollumpus!

DICKENS: False, you vagabond! There are eight ponies in line, ephebe! And I cut a svelte figure, you stripling!

 

[Pringle Can Lothario]

Tiny Tim lived in a whole hovel. Just saying.

 

['THE NIGGER MAN']

The Classics, retold with autistic obesity.

 

[Easily_Remembered]

STREET VENDOR: Real smashing buggy, sir! Could only afford the six horses, eh? Ironical considering the power needed to haul your ample carriage, you blue-nosed gollumpus!

DICKENS: False, you vagabond! There are eight ponies in line, ephebe! And I cut a svelte figure, you stripling!

*suddenly, a large framed black gentleman in tattered clothing walks into the square, and hollers up at Dickens*

BLACK MAN : "Master Dickens! Good day to you, sir! Fancy I come about your domicile this evening to visit upon the lady of the house with plumes of smoke from me chimney?"

DICKENS : "No, ebon child, ye hath not filled my wife with thine rotten clouds of rectal leavings! Away with you!"

*behind the black man forms a line : one man clutching a tattered pink blanket, one holding up a crude charcoal drawing of Dickens' rusted iron fence, one claiming to be the incarnation of his less than impressive horse drawn carriage....*

 

[Riccardo Bosi]

where we at with the Ye Olde Tomlinson Posting?

 

[Meownaw]

where we at with the Ye Olde Tomlinson Posting?

Reminds me of those monocle Nana posts back on reddit. Fawk I miss those.

 

[Stent]

*suddenly, a large framed black gentleman in tattered clothing walks into the square, and hollers up at Dickens*

BLACK MAN : "Master Dickens! Good day to you, sir! Fancy I come about your domicile this evening to visit upon the lady of the house with plumes of smoke from me chimney?"

DICKENS : "No, ebon child, ye hath not filled my wife with thine rotten clouds of rectal leavings! Away with you!"

*behind the black man forms a line : one man clutching a tattered pink blanket, one holding up a crude charcoal drawing of Dickens' rusted iron fence, one claiming to be the incarnation of his less than impressive horse drawn carriage....*

A small boy raps upon his window. 'Telegram, Mr Dickens! Telegram, sir!'

'Who in blazes rouses me before the midday?'

SIR YOU ARE FAT STOP

'Gadzooks! Will this infernal nemesis Birmingham Dan never cease!'

 

[fricklefrackle]

It's been pretty much settled that Scrooge lived on Lime Street. Fucking dolt.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I've been working on a feature length reboot of Fish.

*hold for thunderous applause*

IN. FUCKING. SPACE.

 

[Raymond]

I tell you what he won't do for research: Read Dickens.

 

[Raymond]

I've been working on a feature length reboot of Fish.

*hold for thunderous applause*

IN. FUCKING. SPACE.

"How about a re-imagining of Irreversible with yours truly?"

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

A small boy raps upon his window.

 

[Guest]

Jesus the Ole Time Tomlinson posting has me crying at work

 

[Guest]

Pats source:

[URL unfurl="true"]https://www.london-walking-tours.co.uk/dickens-london/a-christmas-carol-locations.htm[/URL]

Shocking that a company that sells walking tours to tourists are the only people on earth that know where scrooge lived.

Also, Pats research consisted of typing "ebenezer scrooge house address" into Google and going with the first result. I spent more time researching this for my post than he did for his book

 

[Patrick O'Neal]

Wait... he thinks this is getting PUBLISHED??

I thought he was just pissing around for practice.

If his agent bothers to read past the first page I would be astounded.