My audience craves a second rendition of the Bleak House universe to be published with all expediency. I have received a ticket for the trolley there from an avid aficionado. Did you hear that @theknickerbocker?
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- Mr. Tomlinson's feud started after members of the now-defunct Reddit site r/opieandanthony got his Twitter account suspended, causing him to threaten some bored trolls who never heard of him with a libel lawsuit. The trolls responded predictably.
- Mr. Tomlinson has been instructed many times by friends, family, police, and attorneys to stop engaging with his trolls, and that continuing to provoke them will cause him to be trolled even more. Mr. Tomlinson wilfully ignores this advice.
- He would eventually file a defamation suit against 60 anonymous people which was dismissed with Mr. Tomlinson being ordered to pay $34,762.25 for opposing parties' attorney fees.
- He ended up paying $83,736.99 due to his unsuccessful attempts to dodge the court-ordered judgement, for which he faced jail time and contempt charges.
- He also filed 2 frivolous restraining orders against people who had engaged in First Amendment-protected behavior (one for texting him and another for attending his contempt of court hearing), both of which were dismissed.
- Early on in the lawsuit, Mr. Tomlinson vandalized his own motorcycle and submitted a false police report blaming the people he was suing.
- He accidentally sent surveillance video of the alleged vandal to a troll. The individual in the video is very obviously Patrick S. Tomlinson.
- Mr. Tomlinson has never submitted this video footage during any of his many media tours, and desperately tries to scrub it from the internet.
- Mr. Tomlinson claims that the surveillance video was initiated by his "motion-activated" camera, which only collects "30 seconds at a time", despite the video being 32 seconds long and beginning several seconds before the "vandal" enters into the frame.
- On 13 April 2023, the individual responsible for calling the fake emergences (SWATs) to Mr. Tomlinson's house, a SWAT-for-hire dealer named "Torswats", revealed that Mr. Tomlinson ordered the SWATs to his own house because he wanted to get in the news and sue the MPD for money.
- Torswats would repeat these allegations in private chats which were not intended for public view.
- Mr. Tomlinson has gone on multiple news tours since the SWATtings started in order to promote his victimhood brand, utilizing the services of Lenora Claire.
- He also recently sued the MPD for money.
I love that he's wasting so much time on this
- Thread starter Steroid Maximus
- Start date
STOVEPIPE HAT : "Bah! Stuff it, ye blowhard wankuh!"
DICKENS : "Street charlatan! Report and avert thine eyes!"
Ladies and gentlemen! A street urchin absconds to the moon to eat taffy! What say you? Dare I write more?
*a young punk walks onto the street wearing a shoddy facsimile of Dickens' clothing*
KID : "Look at me, everybody! I'm Charles Dickens! I'm a bleedin' pooftah!"
DICKENS : "No, rapscallion, you're not me! Impersonation urchin! Report to the authorities and pay him no heed!"
we should place bets on whether this will be a retelling of the christmas carol, but in space. maybe he'll make scrooge into a trump analog...
STREET VENDOR: Real smashing buggy, sir! Could only afford the six horses, eh? Ironical considering the power needed to haul your ample carriage, you blue-nosed gollumpus!
DICKENS: False, you vagabond! There are eight ponies in line, ephebe! And I cut a svelte figure, you stripling!
Tiny Tim lived in a whole hovel. Just saying.
The Classics, retold with autistic obesity.
*suddenly, a large framed black gentleman in tattered clothing walks into the square, and hollers up at Dickens*
BLACK MAN : "Master Dickens! Good day to you, sir! Fancy I come about your domicile this evening to visit upon the lady of the house with plumes of smoke from me chimney?"
DICKENS : "No, ebon child, ye hath not filled my wife with thine rotten clouds of rectal leavings! Away with you!"
*behind the black man forms a line : one man clutching a tattered pink blanket, one holding up a crude charcoal drawing of Dickens' rusted iron fence, one claiming to be the incarnation of his less than impressive horse drawn carriage....*
where we at with the Ye Olde Tomlinson Posting?
Reminds me of those monocle Nana posts back on reddit. Fawk I miss those.
A small boy raps upon his window. 'Telegram, Mr Dickens! Telegram, sir!'
'Who in blazes rouses me before the midday?'
SIR YOU ARE FAT STOP
'Gadzooks! Will this infernal nemesis Birmingham Dan never cease!'
It's been pretty much settled that Scrooge lived on Lime Street. Fucking dolt.
I've been working on a feature length reboot of Fish.
*hold for thunderous applause*
IN. FUCKING. SPACE.
*hold for thunderous applause*
IN. FUCKING. SPACE.
Jesus the Ole Time Tomlinson posting has me crying at work
Pats source:
Shocking that a company that sells walking tours to tourists are the only people on earth that know where scrooge lived.
Also, Pats research consisted of typing "ebenezer scrooge house address" into Google and going with the first result. I spent more time researching this for my post than he did for his book
A Christmas Carol London Locations - Scrooge's City
Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol is firmly rooted in London. So join Ebenezer Scrooge to uncover some of the likely locations that featured in the novella.
www.london-walking-tours.co.uk
Shocking that a company that sells walking tours to tourists are the only people on earth that know where scrooge lived.
Also, Pats research consisted of typing "ebenezer scrooge house address" into Google and going with the first result. I spent more time researching this for my post than he did for his book
Wait... he thinks this is getting PUBLISHED?? 
I thought he was just pissing around for practice.
If his agent bothers to read past the first page I would be astounded.
I thought he was just pissing around for practice.
If his agent bothers to read past the first page I would be astounded.