"As usual, they're pretty light"

[TorquieTwoBeers]

I have a bunch of genuine (ITYIIWL) questions about this, as I am not a fat author and don't know how this process works:

• his agent is doing rewrites? Isn't this the job of an editor? Doesn't the agent focus on big picture plot things and making a story more marketable?
• Don't you go over things (concept, plotting, marketability) with your agent prior to and during writing? Why would an agent wait until it's already been written to give a bunch of notes? Following that, wouldn't an agent's notes after it's been fully written always be light? The time to give extensive notes/suggestions is before it's been written.
• If Pat's agents "rewrites" were "light", why would he only be able to process 10 pages per day? If I wrote a 200 page, satirical pile of shit, and my agent's notes were "light", I would be able to crank through them all in a weekend. This whole fucking book shouldn't have taken him more than a month to write, now he's taking that long just to process his agent's "light" notes.
• Assuming I'm wrong and that it is typical for an agent to give a bunch of notes after the book has been written, wouldn't you be insulted if your agent gave you a "pretty light" amount of notes? Anything you ever hear about writer-agent and writer-editor relationships, it's always combative and the writer has to fight them to keep things in. Pat's agent is barely skimming his books and providing very few notes and he thinks it's a good thing.
• How is Pat so fat and ugly?

 

[NigelCumia]

I will stop Patposting if any actual publisher publishes this book.

No chance, Pigman.

He has too much pride, itll be self published and he'll "wrong again, little one" away anyone who points it out

 

[guest]

He has too much pride, itll be self published and he'll "wrong again, little one" away anyone who points it out

If you understood anything about the writing process little baby honey mama bear child, you would know that I receive more money because I get a larger cut of the profits by self publishing.

Hush now, mama's little honey boo boo sweetie stlaker child baby.

 

[BakersfieldChimp]

Careful. There's a lot of boutique publishers out there with low standards who will assume being a hated asshole means controversial means sales.

Even the boutique imprints won't touch this steaming pile. My declaration stands.

 

[guest]

Even the boutique imprints won't touch this steaming pile. My declaration stands.

I will bet you an unexpired coupon for a free small soda at McDonald's some upstart company pity-publishes him.

 

[BakersfieldChimp]

I will bet you an unexpired coupon for a free small soda at McDonald's some upstart company pity-publishes him.

I'll just 'no, child' anyone who brings it up and continue Patposting but this project has self publishing written all over it.

 

[wbgreen]

I hope his daughter turns out like the girl from The Whale.

It's eerie how much that movie felt like Pat in a decade, including the delusions of grandeur. If Lynne takes Nikki and cuts him off, that is how he will wind up.

I have a bunch of genuine (ITYIIWL) questions about this, as I am not a fat author and don't know how this process works:

His claim doesn't make sense. An author is supposed to send a completed manuscript to an agent, the finished draft. Pat's agent rejected the manuscript, but probably told him to submit again if he rewrites it. Pat is spinning this as "notes". Editors don't rewrites books, either. That's all the author's job.

Pat has gotten away with lazy submissions before because science fiction pumps out drivel and lets authors sink or swim (Pat sank -- twice). Not so with historical fiction, or whatever his Pride and Prejudice and Zombies knockoff is supposed to be.

 

[fuckwit]

But how does he write with cloven piggy hooves? Oink to text can only go so far!

 

[guest]

But how does he write with cloven piggy hooves? Oink to speech can only go so far!

Duh. Obviously he holds the pen with his snout.

 

[NIGGER_ANNIHILATOR_1488]

Hurry up before you get arrested for self swatting you faggot

 

[Ladynyahh]

Nah, but I'll be more than happy to be her homie because I know it would kill fat boy inside.

 

[guest]

[MEDIA=youtube]N7_p7ggCf-E[/MEDIA]

Ah ya got me, you fucker lol

 

[MasterPosHonor]

I don't know if he'll bother trying to self publish because he needs that sweet, sweet advance money. He needs it really bad.

"I deserve to be paid up front, child, for I am simply very talented, handsome, and popular, and some of the many IQ tests I have taken, have placed me in the 140 range. Your life is simply over. Enjoy prison."

 

[TorqueWheeler]

I have a bunch of genuine (ITYIIWL) questions about this, as I am not a fat author and don't know how this process works:

• his agent is doing rewrites? Isn't this the job of an editor? Doesn't the agent focus on big picture plot things and making a story more marketable?
• Don't you go over things (concept, plotting, marketability) with your agent prior to and during writing? Why would an agent wait until it's already been written to give a bunch of notes? Following that, wouldn't an agent's notes after it's been fully written always be light? The time to give extensive notes/suggestions is before it's been written.
• If Pat's agents "rewrites" were "light", why would he only be able to process 10 pages per day? If I wrote a 200 page, satirical pile of shit, and my agent's notes were "light", I would be able to crank through them all in a weekend. This whole fucking book shouldn't have taken him more than a month to write, now he's taking that long just to process his agent's "light" notes.
• Assuming I'm wrong and that it is typical for an agent to give a bunch of notes after the book has been written, wouldn't you be insulted if your agent gave you a "pretty light" amount of notes? Anything you ever hear about writer-agent and writer-editor relationships, it's always combative and the writer has to fight them to keep things in. Pat's agent is barely skimming his books and providing very few notes and he thinks it's a good thing.
• How is Pat so fat and ugly?

Like all established agents, literary agents don't have exclusive clients and are constantly bouncing from one thing to the next so I find it very hard to imagine one would be taking the time to write coverage on Pat's manuscript themselves but I don't work in that world so maybe they do. Someone should ask Leslie for her take on it.

You're right though - 10 pages a day for the rest of the month does not equal "light notes" unless he's factoring in how much time he requires to tweet enjoy prison all day.

 

[SFWA liaison]

yeah I don't think your agent's notes being light is a brag after the "ECLECTIC" fiasco

 

[Sue Lightning]

“When I wrote Art of the Deal, terrific book, Art of the Deal, I wrote it…and I gave it to my editor and he said, Mr. Trump…these are the biggest writings i’ve ever seen. The best. I don’t even need to read them. Frankly, you shouldn’t even be paying me.”

Why do you think this fat retard hates the Don so much. PROJECTION!!!

 

[TorqueWheeler]

yeah I don't think your agent's notes being light is a brag after the "ECLECTIC" fiasco

That's the thing, even if his agent is taking a pass on it because there's no publisher and therefore no editor, even if he does manage to get a publisher for it that just means they will give it to their readers and their editors to write notes on and I'm sure they won't be "light" that time. This thing, with its very seasonally specific appeal, wouldn't see the light of day until winter 2025 even if it was magically picked up.

Still, at least it will give Pat some time to get to work on that coverage he received on his $400,000,000 budget submarine movie.

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

Ernest Hamandcheese
Marcel Prosciutto
Michael Chitlin

 

[Sputnik]

His agent has to keep the notes "light" because if he upsets his prized pig then there's a risk he will miss out on those righteous bucks. 10% of zero or sumtin.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

Im sure pat scoffs at any of the criticism and suggestions. I bet he is as difficult as possible through the whole process.