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You think pat ever read LOTR?

CumiaPoodle

Brazil sent me a wife with a dick ☺️
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12,676
“Even the trees walked in that fucking movie.” I doubt Pat read any of them though.

I don’t mind the movies at all. But the fuckin books man. I tried rereading them last night. Eh fuck it. I loved clerks 2 but the balls on hack faggot Kevin smith to criticize both Peter Jackson and Tolkien. When he can’t make a good movie when all he needs to do is nail the dialogue. Like bro come on you’re reaching Pat levels of bad. All the characters shouldn’t sound like you.
 

BonnieMcFarlaneMe2

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Ah Dog, man that guy was my father as far as I’m concerned. My biological father fell asleep in my birthday cake on my second bday cuz he was fucked up off horse. Later that day he got arrested for going through peoples garbage. The bail was 25 dollars but my mom wouldn’t bail him out and got a restraining order. Didn’t see him again until I was 5 then he started taking me to this trap house with his gf and locking me in the worlds smallest room while he did smack.

Compared to that my step father was a saint. Think about him all the time. A group of youths did beat the shit out of my real dad outside of a bar in broward county. They took his wallet and beat him with his cane lol. Not too long after he fell asleep at the wheel and crashed into a pay loader. I got some funny stories about my real father. I love those hat Yankers in Florida though real niggas for that.
Jeeeee zusss Chr*st.
 

BonnieMcFarlaneMe2

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I don’t mind the movies at all. But the fuckin books man. I tried rereading them last night. Eh fuck it. I loved clerks 2 but the balls on hack faggot Kevin smith to criticize both Peter Jackson and Tolkien. When he can’t make a good movie when all he needs to do is nail the dialogue. Like bro come on you’re reaching Pat levels of bad. All the characters shouldn’t sound like you.
2 is my favorite one. I’m sure he has an appreciation for LOTR and it’s just a bit. That being said I didn’t like the books when I tried reading them in middle school. Also Smith was supposed to be Randall which is why he has all the funniest lines in the first movie.
 

CumiaPoodle

Brazil sent me a wife with a dick ☺️
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2 is my favorite one. I’m sure he has an appreciation for LOTR and it’s just a bit. That being said I didn’t like the books when I tried reading them in middle school. Also Smith was supposed to be Randall which is why he has all the funniest lines in the first movie.
Dude dogma clerks clerks 2 mall rats were my shit. It’s just he’s not good anymore idk if you seen the last clerks but I could talk about that for a while..
 

CumiaPoodle

Brazil sent me a wife with a dick ☺️
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I expected it to be absolute shit but I thought it was okay which isn’t really a high bar but I enjoyed it.
Ite so like why did they take such a fun movie in 1&2 and turn it into the most depressing movie that ruined clerks 2 for me. A movie That I watched at 12/13 and had an amazing time. Idk why I’m asking you like you made it but I need answers
 

Will Tate

Oven March
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42,633
what a fucking moron.

no he never read LOTR. You're right that there are some dragging parts, imo The Two Towers was generally extremely slow compared to the other two. Still amazing world building. If you want to try a Tolkien work that fawking DRAAAAGS you should try The Silmarillion.
I'm actually reading that again right now, it's dense as fuck and there are a fuckton of names to keep straight but think of it like the Bible or a compendium of folklore at it gets a little less overwhelming; it's only half the length of LOTR, so if you've managed to make it through the latter, you can power through the former.
Also someone else brought it up the last time Pat's fake fandom was brought up, there was a scene in the extended edition of Return of the King that illustrated this quite well, the Black Speech is so evil it's physically damaging. The Mouth of Sauron, his chief messenger, had to speak it regularly, and his lips and tongue were completley shredded. Damn shame the same language tatted on Pat's piggy flesh doesn't have the same effect.

1693918984249.png
 

BonnieMcFarlaneMe2

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Ite so like why did they take such a fun movie in 1&2 and turn it into the most depressing movie that ruined clerks 2 for me. A movie That I watched at 12/13 and had an amazing time. Idk why I’m asking you like you made it but I need answers
What’s her name being dead seemed unnecessary but the first one is set against a funeral. I liked it but I probably won’t watch it again.
 

Harry's Enticer

WOULD
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125,446
I prefer ASOIAF tbh. I know I can’t grasp the literary genius of Tolkien or whatever. But I read them as an adult. They’re good but some parts just fucking drag on. They’re short books but still just fucking crawl.
The 4 page long elvish songs were retarded, but Tolkien was a better world builder, probably the greatest ever
 

CumiaPoodle

Brazil sent me a wife with a dick ☺️
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What’s her name being dead seemed unnecessary but the first one is set against a funeral. I liked it but I probably won’t watch it again.
Yeah I felt that was very unnecessary like his bitch and kid are dead I don’t even remember if they had a kid or if it was dead. But also they both have heart attacks.

Give me a movie where randall has a heart attack that’s okay. Randall gets his shit together. If there has to be an issue let it be that Dante sees his growth and feels that he’s a hypocrite for giving him shit when his life is falling apart. (Marriage is falling apart bad relationship with his kid whatever) projects harder on to Randall after his life gets better and his gets worse. Causing a rift.

They spend some time apart where Randall sees that he’s partly to blame for holding him back and fucking up his relationship by being too codependent. Invading on Dante’s life at home. Dante sees that Randall has been his only real friend. They come back together after Dante gets divorced. Come up with the idea to make a movie. The shit ends as they finish the script. Set up for the last movie.

That’s probably dog shit but I typed it as quick as my hands could type and didn’t plan anything I freestyled it but if I had 20 minutes to think I’m sure I could come up with something decent.
 

CumiaPoodle

Brazil sent me a wife with a dick ☺️
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The 4 page long elvish songs were retarded, but Tolkien was a better world builder, probably the greatest ever
I won’t disagree there I mean there’s no ASOIAF without Tolkien. I do think the writing as far like being able to visualize everything in your head and how he’s able to get every scene to a climax is incredible. But that probably has more to do with him doing television for years.
 

JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler

Grand Cyclops of the Digital Ku Klux Klan
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50,720
If he ever came to power like Hitler, we're fucking toast. They're testing the ovens with us.
The concentration camps would be fun at least. Everyone sitting around seeing who can tell the best nigger jokes. The camp guards would later talk about how they were abused by us
 

Chive Turkey

Erock Army Desserter
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40,566
This and that he spells a lot of the characters phonetically. ie. He has only heard them being spoken, movies, other people etc.
It is impossible to read the books and not know how they are spelled especially if you are a 140IQ special boy with a good memory.
The tattoo text he probably just googled.

fat
Here's all the names he misspelled:

Sauroman
Gimley
Golem
Mary
Pippen


I doubt he's ever read a fucking word of the books.

I don’t mind the movies at all. But the fuckin books man. I tried rereading them last night. Eh fuck it. I loved clerks 2 but the balls on hack faggot Kevin smith to criticize both Peter Jackson and Tolkien. When he can’t make a good movie when all he needs to do is nail the dialogue. Like bro come on you’re reaching Pat levels of bad. All the characters shouldn’t sound like you.
He's a faggot manchild who loves to romanticise his Gen X upbringing as if it was the height of culture, even though it was nearly all mass produced garbage intended to sell trinkets to dumb children. It makes his haughtiness towards 'new' geek things that much more insufferable, thumbing his nose at LOTR fans when that shit was written by a literal leading expert on ancient folklore and literature.

I don't disagree that there's a lotta faggot fans out there (hence this thread), but there's something inherently off-putting about someone like Smith being the one to try and act high and mighty while he's part of an even gayer fanbase.

Kevin Smith is Erock if he had any drive.
 

JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler

Grand Cyclops of the Digital Ku Klux Klan
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50,720
This and that he spells a lot of the characters phonetically. ie. He has only heard them being spoken, movies, other people etc.
It is impossible to read the books and not know how they are spelled especially if you are a 140IQ special boy with a good memory.
The tattoo text he probably just googled.

fat
His tattoo says "Pork Fried Rice w Side Dumpling" in black speech
 

CumiaPoodle

Brazil sent me a wife with a dick ☺️
Forum Clout
12,676
Here's all the names he misspelled:

Sauroman
Gimley
Golem
Mary
Pippen


I doubt he's ever read a fucking word of the books.


He's a faggot manchild who loves to romanticise his Gen X upbringing as if it was the height of culture, even though it was nearly all mass produced garbage intended to sell trinkets to dumb children. It makes his haughtiness towards 'new' geek things that much more insufferable, thumbing his nose at LOTR fans when that shit was written by a literal leading expert on ancient folklore and literature.

I don't disagree that there's a lotta faggot fans out there (hence this thread), but there's something inherently off-putting about someone like Smith being the one to try and act high and mighty while he's part of an even gayer fanbase.

Kevin Smith is Erock if he had any drive.
Woah nice shit with the erock comparison. And yes if it’s a cumiapoodle thread two things are for certain. It will entertain. It was written by a faggot.
 

AliceWorquer

Fat bitch with faggot tits
Forum Clout
19,803
I truly believe the only books he's ever read are dune and his own. Even his own books just got a cursory once over. If he could list twenty books he's read in the last ten years I would be very surprised. Everything he writes is like a Wikipedia movie synopsis. He probably doesn't even really watch movies except blockbuster capeshit, just reads scene by scene outlines and other people's opinions.
 
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