Worst movies you've ever seen thread

CutesyMissy

"... radio's most notorious shock jock."
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This was on in the background, but from what I saw, I thought that it was a joke. Somebody actually wrote this shit? Or was is it all just improv from Ryan Reynolds?

The last Matrix movie was hilariously bad, too. Neil Patrick Harris explaining bullet time has to be one of the dumbest scenes ever in a blockbuster movie.
It's hilarious to watch The Rock feigning interest in females.

For a supposedly straight guy, he cannot convincingly fake chemistry with hot women.
 

Chapel

Dirty Bastard
View attachment 142952

This was on in the background, but from what I saw, I thought that it was a joke. Somebody actually wrote this shit? Or was is it all just improv from Ryan Reynolds?

The last Matrix movie was hilariously bad, too. Neil Patrick Harris explaining bullet time has to be one of the dumbest scenes ever in a blockbuster movie.
Any movie with that roid monkey in it is bound to be shite.
 

DMAN

NYC Mayor
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This was the worst piece of shit I've seen in recent memory, excluding glimpses of scenes from gay ass superhero bullshit which is on its own level. Those movies are infuriating because people en masse pretend to love them. With a terrible movie like this, if you go through with watching it you'll be pissed off that nobody knows it, so you can hate-relate with them. It's like witnessing something miraculous by yourself, and having nobody to make eye contact with.

I only started watching this movie because I thought it was a documentary about the gay internet meme, and I thought perhaps there would be a little push back. Once it starts, it soon becomes apparent this is a fictional movie. It opens with a beta cuck father, his wife, and their young daughter going to the beach. Baby boy and his dopey wife were too busy reading magazines, playing on their phones and kindles, etc. to notice that their little daughter drowned in the ocean. Won't see her no more. Oh, and the little dopey bitch is named 'Sam' which is just annoying to hear the faggot dad keep saying 'SAM!' it sounds like his boyfriend's name.

So as the story goes, the dad goes into a shame spiral that EVEN his wife all but says "Dude chill out, you're acting like a faggot right now." Instead of any guilt over his neglect leading to his daughter's death though, this guy seems to be obsessed with projecting all his time on Reddit, literally mentioned by name in the movie: REDDIT DOT COM. It actually shows a montage of him reading Reddit posts, as if he's doing DEEP RESEARCH on the dark web. Looking up "the mandela effect" like that had anything to do with his dumb daughter dying and him having weird moments thinking she's there.

Here's where the director takes his pandering to the Reddit audience to the new low... The main character teaches himself quantum computing by reading Reddit threads and playing with calculators and textbooks in montages. Wow, this guy is SO distraught over the TOTALLY unpreventable beach death of his daughter, that he BURIES himself in brilliant genius activities that most people just don't understand, maahn.

So then he starts stalking and harassing some nigger college professor who gave ONE SPEECH about the mandela effect in a youtube video that he keeps watching over and over. He basically wants to suck this guys black dick because he mentioned a meme that everyone knows. So he shows up at the college, like an old creeper. And walks right up to the nig professor and starts pestering him, like this guy is a noble elder in mandela effect and ONLY HE holds the secrets.

The professor tells him he doesn't know shit, and the dopey Redditor starts citing reddit posts to him. No no, you see, potatopeeelr1488 says that my daughter died because a corporation once printed the name of their brand with a typo... You see? There is a glitch in the matrix. And of course the dumbass nigger professor sits there impressed and entertains this idiots babble, having an intellectual debate with him about quantum physics, witty banter like they're playing chess. It's so absurd you would think it's from an 80's movie.

At the end, this little entitled faggot runs into some college campus, and finds a random unattended storage room that has a giant 3D printer looking device in the room by itself, like old school computers from the 70's and 80's. I think the door even has one of those little windows like a high school hallway door, so you can see into the room that has a computer which literally runs the simulation we all exist in.

So some janitor for the college goes up to this 40 year old man peering around the machine that controls our reality. Hey, you can't go in there! Yeah, that's how it'd work. That's how it would be. Definitely. There wouldn't be any guards. This thing wouldn't be in fort knox or anything. It would just be in some fucking college back room somewhere that some dumbass overnight maintenance guy could accidentally hit a switch while steaming the carpet. Of course.

So the main character daughter-ignorer lightly shoves the janitor, and he hits the floor cracking his head supposedly dying... Nice job asshole. Stupid goes into the room, plays around with the schematics totally at random ( I guess his late night Reddit deep dives didn't include learning what da buttons do, duhhh) And he ends up "breaking reality" where people's faces and objects all start glitching out like a bad PC mod where the textures don't show up right. And the movie ends with everything rooned.

And of course, baby boy gets to live his fulfilled live by "rebooting" the machine somehow I don't remember, and it has to relive the entire history of existence just so he can yet again ignore his daughter at the beach but this time tells her not to bring her toy like somehow the toy is the reason she drowned. Fawking garbage. The director should be doped and hung upside down, beaten with bats, until he apologizes for having a hand in this project.
 
G

guest

Guest
Lucy_(2014_film)_poster.jpg


Did you know that we only use 10% of our brain? What if I told you that some chemist somewhere made a drug that could boost your levels up? Now imagine some floozy gets hit with a king-sized dose and starts to become the ubermenses. What does she do with her newfound powers? Carves a path of destruction through the city leaving dead bodies and ruined lives in her wake until finally melding with a supercomputer, sitting enthroned in the center of a black, malignant pentagram and then going back in time to give the spark of intelligence to an ape (and here's why that's a good thing)

Transhumanist, antichristian garbage.
 

Meownaw

I GOT DA HAT NOW!
View attachment 142952

This was on in the background, but from what I saw, I thought that it was a joke. Somebody actually wrote this shit? Or was is it all just improv from Ryan Reynolds?

The last Matrix movie was hilariously bad, too. Neil Patrick Harris explaining bullet time has to be one of the dumbest scenes ever in a blockbuster movie.
Can we talk about how ENRAGING it is when a movie poster has the actors standing in a line and the names never match the order. I'm sure it has to do with billing or whatever but it bugs me.
 

bantadant

Fantastic Man
View attachment 143063

Did you know that we only use 10% of our brain? What if I told you that some chemist somewhere made a drug that could boost your levels up? Now imagine some floozy gets hit with a king-sized dose and starts to become the ubermenses. What does she do with her newfound powers? Carves a path of destruction through the city leaving dead bodies and ruined lives in her wake until finally melding with a supercomputer, sitting enthroned in the center of a black, malignant pentagram and then going back in time to give the spark of intelligence to an ape (and here's why that's a good thing)

Transhumanist, antichristian garbage.
What if I only used 10% of my cock? AGOOSH:lwjxnwp:
 
G

guest

Guest
View attachment 143063

Did you know that we only use 10% of our brain? What if I told you that some chemist somewhere made a drug that could boost your levels up? Now imagine some floozy gets hit with a king-sized dose and starts to become the ubermenses. What does she do with her newfound powers? Carves a path of destruction through the city leaving dead bodies and ruined lives in her wake until finally melding with a supercomputer, sitting enthroned in the center of a black, malignant pentagram and then going back in time to give the spark of intelligence to an ape (and here's why that's a good thing)

Transhumanist, antichristian garbage.
I was a bit buzzed last night and didn't say everything I wanted to. They keep making a big deal out of how intelligent she's becoming but her only recourse is to violence. Diplomacy? Subterfuge? Inventiveness? Any trait associated with intelligence at all? Nah fuck it, let's just have her kill everybody who gets in her way. That's what a smart person does.

The Total Recall reboot was like that, too - the guy is supposed to be some sort of super hacker and every time he's met with a machine that won't cooperate with him he punches it a few times, rips off an access panel and pulls a giant novelty fuse out. That's hacking in the future I guess. Horrible, stupid movie that I could spend twelve paragraphs on.

It would have been tolerable if the movie was a cautionary tale about the perils of an intellect divorced from morality and drunk on its own power but it wasn't that at all. Lucy is the protagonist who shrugs off the needs and concerns of the inferior people caught up in her schemes. She was basically The Science personified and it really chapped my ass. If you don't agree with her then you're probably just some stupid religious or something.

Whoever signed off on this lives by huffing their own farts in perpetuity.
 

Dog Eater

Apartheid is cool.
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This was the worst piece of shit I've seen in recent memory, excluding glimpses of scenes from gay ass superhero bullshit which is on its own level. Those movies are infuriating because people en masse pretend to love them. With a terrible movie like this, if you go through with watching it you'll be pissed off that nobody knows it, so you can hate-relate with them. It's like witnessing something miraculous by yourself, and having nobody to make eye contact with.

I only started watching this movie because I thought it was a documentary about the gay internet meme, and I thought perhaps there would be a little push back. Once it starts, it soon becomes apparent this is a fictional movie. It opens with a beta cuck father, his wife, and their young daughter going to the beach. Baby boy and his dopey wife were too busy reading magazines, playing on their phones and kindles, etc. to notice that their little daughter drowned in the ocean. Won't see her no more. Oh, and the little dopey bitch is named 'Sam' which is just annoying to hear the faggot dad keep saying 'SAM!' it sounds like his boyfriend's name.

So as the story goes, the dad goes into a shame spiral that EVEN his wife all but says "Dude chill out, you're acting like a faggot right now." Instead of any guilt over his neglect leading to his daughter's death though, this guy seems to be obsessed with projecting all his time on Reddit, literally mentioned by name in the movie: REDDIT DOT COM. It actually shows a montage of him reading Reddit posts, as if he's doing DEEP RESEARCH on the dark web. Looking up "the mandela effect" like that had anything to do with his dumb daughter dying and him having weird moments thinking she's there.

Here's where the director takes his pandering to the Reddit audience to the new low... The main character teaches himself quantum computing by reading Reddit threads and playing with calculators and textbooks in montages. Wow, this guy is SO distraught over the TOTALLY unpreventable beach death of his daughter, that he BURIES himself in brilliant genius activities that most people just don't understand, maahn.

So then he starts stalking and harassing some nigger college professor who gave ONE SPEECH about the mandela effect in a youtube video that he keeps watching over and over. He basically wants to suck this guys black dick because he mentioned a meme that everyone knows. So he shows up at the college, like an old creeper. And walks right up to the nig professor and starts pestering him, like this guy is a noble elder in mandela effect and ONLY HE holds the secrets.

The professor tells him he doesn't know shit, and the dopey Redditor starts citing reddit posts to him. No no, you see, potatopeeelr1488 says that my daughter died because a corporation once printed the name of their brand with a typo... You see? There is a glitch in the matrix. And of course the dumbass nigger professor sits there impressed and entertains this idiots babble, having an intellectual debate with him about quantum physics, witty banter like they're playing chess. It's so absurd you would think it's from an 80's movie.

At the end, this little entitled faggot runs into some college campus, and finds a random unattended storage room that has a giant 3D printer looking device in the room by itself, like old school computers from the 70's and 80's. I think the door even has one of those little windows like a high school hallway door, so you can see into the room that has a computer which literally runs the simulation we all exist in.

So some janitor for the college goes up to this 40 year old man peering around the machine that controls our reality. Hey, you can't go in there! Yeah, that's how it'd work. That's how it would be. Definitely. There wouldn't be any guards. This thing wouldn't be in fort knox or anything. It would just be in some fucking college back room somewhere that some dumbass overnight maintenance guy could accidentally hit a switch while steaming the carpet. Of course.

So the main character daughter-ignorer lightly shoves the janitor, and he hits the floor cracking his head supposedly dying... Nice job asshole. Stupid goes into the room, plays around with the schematics totally at random ( I guess his late night Reddit deep dives didn't include learning what da buttons do, duhhh) And he ends up "breaking reality" where people's faces and objects all start glitching out like a bad PC mod where the textures don't show up right. And the movie ends with everything rooned.

And of course, baby boy gets to live his fulfilled live by "rebooting" the machine somehow I don't remember, and it has to relive the entire history of existence just so he can yet again ignore his daughter at the beach but this time tells her not to bring her toy like somehow the toy is the reason she drowned. Fawking garbage. The director should be doped and hung upside down, beaten with bats, until he apologizes for having a hand in this project.
Thanks, I feel bad for you having watched this, sounds awful.
 

Will Tate

Oven March
1692283511139.png



If you were a fan of the Lord of the Rings books, the movie trilogy treated you to a delightful feast for the senses and an unforgettable journey into that world.
If you were a fan of the Dark Tower books, you were treated to cold shit on a biscuit served on a paper plate.
"So crucial elements of the narrative? We're just gonna make those into background cameo shots or gags on the sizzle reel!"
I defy one to sit through this wholly underwhelming piece of shit and not want those striking SAG-AFTRA faggots to fucking starve.
 
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