"This Is Actually Happening" episode about Pat, narrated by Pat!

[RobertMewler]

The longer he goes on the angrier he gets lol.

 

[SFWA liaison]

Who is listening to this besides Pests? He sounds insufferable and arrogant and he’s just sucking his own dick about his carefully curated life story. Why is all this background needed?

125 paypigs on Patreon, enjoy the biography of some rube that takes 20 minutes to get to the entertaining stuff

patposting aside it's so poorly articulated, no effort, repeats himself. It's doesn't come off as casual because he's autistic af, it comes off as lazy. He is a shitty storyteller.

goes from 2012 to 2017 to 2015 to 2012

 

[Rick Roblinson]

I want to see this along with a bunch of pics and videos. It's basically Pat The Movie.

 

[TheDarkFezRises]

"No more about this guy."
Surreal to hear pat quote forum bits on a podcast.

 

[chewtoycock]

I love the ominous voice selling me progressive insurance. Why am I not so shameless to sell myself like this, it can't be so hard.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

" My parents met at a horse auction"

 

[SensibleKeks]

After 2 years of college (which he excelled at of course), he was offered a 6-figure job at age 22. How does one go from 18 to 22 in two years?

I dont think math is his strong suite.

 

[NoBacon]

Woah this Patrick guy seems pretty bad ass! He’s all action all the time!

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

He is reading this right? This doesnt feel like an actual conversation. Its just pat romanticizing his lame life.

 

[Humanatee]

They were partially responsible for wrecking Anthony Cumia's life.

No, pig. Nobody was responsible for that other than Anthony Cumia.

 

[Prison Enjoyer]

" My parents met at a horse auction"

“Tommy sucked off those horses with such efficiency my mother couldn’t resist.”

Finally some honesty from ol’ Richard. Why he considers this a brag, I dunno. Speculate speculate

 

[Peckas]

They were partially responsible for wrecking Anthony Cumia's life.

No, pig. Nobody was responsible for that other than Anthony Cumia.

The pests broke into the compound and bit Dani!

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

"Forced into a divorce"

Thats how it works stupid

 

[SensibleKeks]

He is reading this right? This doesnt feel like an actual conversation. Its just pat romanticizing his lame life.

Sounds like he's talking into a traffic cone.

 

[chocolatehellhole]

I dont think math is his strong suite.

He's as good at math as you are at English.

 

[ミスタースパーコル]

They were partially responsible for wrecking Anthony Cumia's life.

No, pig. Nobody was responsible for that other than Anthony Cumia.

He pronounced it Q-mia.

 

[BakersfieldChimp]

I don't know who this 'Patrick' guy is but he sounds quite hefty. Obese, even.

 

[JebJoh]

It really annoys me when he says family. After the 100th time I decided that his stalkers are too easy on him.

 

[SpaceEdge]

His name is Whitney?

GIRLS NAME GIRLS NAME!!!

 

[Mike Glyer]

This is a classic Tomlinson "I know what will help matters..." maneuver. Starve the trolls? Never works!