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I take women there and just fucking stomp them at mini putt. And I say shit like "I'll fucking die before I lose" and "you will never conquer me, weak little girl" the whole time.
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The Abe Vigoda Canadian Thanksgiving Spectacular Megathread
- Thread starter TheGhostOfAbeVigoda
- Start date
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- 53,508
I love taking women to darts cuz I'm not very good but I constantly insist they're cheating and it makes them so fucking angry.
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My cousin and I had junior memberships to this shitty jerkoff course in my town and there were always a bunch of old pricks yelling at us like we were fucking around when we weren't fucking around, which made us fuck around. Fucking dinks thinking they belong to some exclusive club because they get a free pulled pork sandwich and a pop at a fucking 9 hole golf course.
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I have no mercy for women and children. You wanna bang, ese? Let's bang.
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9 holes is a lot of holes to fuck. I don't know how you do it.
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You want me to let you win? Don't you know it's Canadian tradition to murder anyone who embarrasses you at checkers? A cribbage defeat is grounds for an ACTUAL indigenous genocide
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He mixes rhino horn with penis chinese penis and goes the fuck off, that's how
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Hatred can only prevail if you stop fucking the 8th hole with a putter up our asses and don't find the strength to get to the ninth one. Work through the sweat and the tears.
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My one ex told me she was probably better than me at basketball. So I was like "Well now I have to destroy you, stupid." I'm not good at basketball but I'll crush any woman alive at it and I absolutely fucking dominated her and most of the time she was like "This isn't fucking fun." It's an aggressive game you stupit bitch, you might take an elbow to the tit every now and again.
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No you put your balls in them
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Golf is so complicated. Why can't I just jack off in a field?
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My wife (then girlfriend) thought she was reasonably good at grappling for about two weeks. My buddy kept telling me I should let her win and I told him I'm a fawkin feminist alright? I won't insult the young lady like that.
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Embarrassing admission. I had a girlfriend who actually was better than me at street ball. So I'd just put her on my doubles team.
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I think that's what polo is. That's how Stephen Hawking got paralyzed.
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She was like 6 feet tall and very athletic. She could beat my ass in a one on one unless I played dirty.
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Another one was "if you slow down she might learn something."
She did learn something - don't fight men. Run.
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We'd always play another couple and just wipe the floor with them. And we were drunk. They weren't. Street ball is so much fun.
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In the other couples defense our average height was 6 feet. Theirs was like 5 4? The guy was shorter than the girl too.
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As long as my wife isn't wearing heels I'm fine, okay?