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The Abe Vigoda Canadian Thanksgiving Spectacular Megathread

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

Hey, Santa: I rape trespassers
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After a while I kind of enjoyed a good butt smoke. Those fuckers hit hard, bud
My dad always had big coffee cans full of cigarette butts in the garage and there was honestly something magical about those fuckers sometimes. Especially in the cold.

Thinking about it now, I don't know why the fuck he had those. Like, why did he hoard cigarette butts?
 

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

Hey, Santa: I rape trespassers
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123,878
I really wish I could post my "Travellers Guide" on here cuz it's just all my stories of losing my phone and wallet. Having to beg for food in Incheon Airport, not even having a water bottle. It's a really good urban survival story but no one would read it.
I'd 100% read it. Your travel stories are hilarious. The bus trip thread is still an all timer
 

Turk February

Our experiences exceed yours.
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I'd 100% read it. Your travel stories are hilarious. The bus trip thread is still an all timer
It's like a full book. I wrote it from notes that I made because I thought a character involved would pay me for the story for a ticket home. He did not. I spent 11 days there. Surprisingly it slowly becomes a story of friendship between me and the people at the information desk. Absolutely 0 fabrication in it.
 

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

Hey, Santa: I rape trespassers
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123,878
It's like a full book. I wrote it from notes that I made because I thought a character involved would pay me for the story for a ticket home. He did not. I spent 11 days there. Surprisingly it slowly becomes a story of friendship between me and the people at the information desk. Absolutely 0 fabrication in it.
I remember you saying you ate taco bell with them. How many times do you think you whacked off in those 11 days?
 

Turk February

Our experiences exceed yours.
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I remember you saying you ate taco bell with them. How many times do you think you whacked off in those 11 days?
0. As nice of an airport as it is it's still a sky bus station. Barely ate, only when people gave me something. I mostly layed on a bench and walked to the concourse.
 

ミスタースパーコル

Do the JewWario!
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21,322
My dad always had big coffee cans full of cigarette butts in the garage and there was honestly something magical about those fuckers sometimes. Especially in the cold.

Thinking about it now, I don't know why the fuck he had those. Like, why did he hoard cigarette butts?
My mom used to put cigarette butts in half or mostly undraken stale cans of soda. They'd float to the top and I thought it was the grossest shit ever.
 

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

Hey, Santa: I rape trespassers
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123,878
I feel like if I was in that situation I'd either end up going nuts and trashing something and going to Korean jail or I'd just wander off, find some woods and be like "This is my life now. I live in the woods in Korea. Nobody can understand me. I am a wild animal and I must avoid humans."
 

Turk February

Our experiences exceed yours.
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I feel like if I was in that situation I'd either end up going nuts and trashing something and going to Korean jail or I'd just wander off, find some woods and be like "This is my life now. I live in the woods in Korea. Nobody can understand me. I am a wild animal and I must avoid humans."
I went angry only once the whole time. I don't have any idea how I kept it together for 11 days.
 

Turk February

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Just imagine. No money. No phone. Nothing for entertainment. 11 fucking days. Like. I know some guys have been in jail but at least you speak the same language. It fucked me up a bit.
 

Turk February

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The information desk and Mrs Lee smuggling me into the showers kept me sane. I actually still have the staff towels and use them. I told her straight up "you know I'm going to keep these, right?"
 

Turk February

Our experiences exceed yours.
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But yeah. About 8 days in I begged them "can I please clean myself?" And they snuck me into the staff showers pilots use.
 

Turk February

Our experiences exceed yours.
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Yeah I don't want my kids to sound like retards. The wife has a bit of a potty mouth but I stay on her about it. I'm really good at not swearing in front of kids or mixed company and basically only let fly when it's only men around. There's nothing wrong with a little decorum sniff.
My dad would just call me a whore while we made flashbangs and pipe bombs out of matches for fun. I turned out okay.
 

Turk February

Our experiences exceed yours.
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Weirdest skill I have is I can now make a bomb out of pack of matches and electrical tape. Dad was in the Soviet Army and it's how they taught them to escape POW camps.
 
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