The Abe Vigoda Canadian Thanksgiving Spectacular Megathread

[Turk February]

Man you HAVE to start living better. I know you don't give a shit about it, but oddly, I do. More than you.

If you ever want to do a favour for me, just clean your place, start from square one and then CLEAN AS YOU GO. Do dishes. Do laundry. DONT SLEEP IN YOUR FUCKING CLOTHES. YOU SMELL LIKE BALLS ALL THE TIME.

If you listen to me you'll get your fucking ambition back. You'll fuck a woman's vagina. You'll make music. You'll do your show. You'll be Turk fuckin' February, baby.

I am touched by the sentiment. But I was kind of born dirt. I wanna be normal but I can't explain how hard it is for me to behave normal.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Abe is setting you up to fail, Turk. Keep rocking.

Why are you so jealous all the time? It's honestly embarrassing. Stop. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go sit.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Turry knows alcoholics. Doctors are surprisingly chill about a brewski or twoski if you tell them you drink a flat a day

My grandpappy had prescribed brewskis in the hospital when he was diggity-dyin

 

[T-t-t-Terry!]

I am touched by the sentiment. But I was kind of born dirt. I wanna be normal but I can't explain how hard it is for me to behave normal.

Oh shut up

 

[Turk February]

This thread took another surprising turn. We're all pouring out hearts out and showing each other support

 

[Stent]

Why are you so jealous all the time? It's honestly embarrassing. Stop. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go sit.

It's a sin to waste food. Eat your fuckin' sandwich.

 

[Turk February]

Oh shut up

Eat a dick, Turry, put your kids to bed and fuck off my thread

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I am touched by the sentiment. But I was kind of born dirt. I wanna be normal but I can't explain how hard it is for me to behave normal.

I have a really good friend who lives like you. His dad's British. His counters are covered in used, moldy coffee filters, his bathroom sink is covered in pubey beard trimmings, every inch of his floor is covered with something and he can't figure out why THE CAT IS SUCH A BASTARD!!!


Clean it up, dude. Do it.

 

[T-t-t-Terry!]

Eat a dick, Turry, put your kids to bed and fuck off my thread

They've been in bed for three hours, stupit. We don't do libertarianism around here so they just have to do what they're told.

 

[Turk February]

It's a sin to waste food. Eat your fuckin' sandwich.

My mom would tell me that while making me eat rye bread in Russia. It fucked me up a bit.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

It's a sin to waste food. Eat your fuckin' sandwich.

SIT. GO. GO. STOP. GO. SIT.

 

[Stent]

My mom would tell me that while making me eat rye bread in Russia. It fucked me up a bit.

Seems a long way to go just to eat a sandwich.

 

[Turk February]

I have a really good friend who lives like you. His dad's British. His counters are covered in used, moldy coffee filters, his bathroom sink is covered in pubey beard trimmings, every inch of his floor is covered with something and he can't figure out why THE CAT IS SUCH A BASTARD!!!


Clean it up, dude. Do it.

So what you're describing is a dirty apartment. I have a messy apartment. Ontologically there's a huge difference.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

My mom would tell me that while making me eat rye bread in Russia. It fucked me up a bit.

Rye bread rulez. You bombed out Slavs sure had it good, huh?

 

[T-t-t-Terry!]

I'm Riggs. Abe is Murtaugh. Turk is Abe's black slut daughter

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Seems a long way to go just to eat a sandwich.

I can make a better sandwich. Just... You eat it.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I'm Riggs. Abe is Murtaugh. Turk is Abe's black slut daughter

I'm gettin too dead for this shit

 

[Turk February]

Rye bread rulez. You bombed out Slavs sure had it good, huh?

There's something called Doktorsksys Kolbasa. It's basically baloney boiled in milk. It's really hard to find. I could cum eating it. We found it in Korea.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

@Stent

Hittem wit da Lethal Weapon joint

 

[T-t-t-Terry!]

I'm John McClane. Turk is my bitch wife. Abe is the black cop