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Imagine being this miserable. Holy fuck LMAO.

Torque’sHeadBump

(Voluntarily) torqued boomer
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67,281
stick his finger in the girls.
There is no way that Patrick got any patch back in high school. No young girl :image_9247: :nanacreep_sm::image_4764: would let him fingerblast her, in any circumstances. At least from my recollections of high school that was like a sacred thing around 15-17, getting to pop a chick. In my case it required a lot of schmoozing and feigning interest, plus mustering up the courage to face rejection (and tons of jerking off to the thought of it lol). Pat is cowardly so we know he wouldn’t do that.
 

Slackjawed Cow

I laugh at them because they're all the same.
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282,376
Somebody wasn't cool enough to play Goldeneye... (don't worry, it went under the radar back in 1997/1998)
1706787535252.png
 

Cygnus Nana X-1

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17,674
Football fans are annoyed with it and white housewives are living vicariously through a TS/Kelce fantasy. Even if interest is peaked through TS at best it'll wane completely when she moves on to her next relationship if not on Feb 12th.

I could see a network developing a reality show to capture and milk the retarded housewives for max exposure when they move on from NFL.

Also, Pat is obese.
 

UnPRePared

For the last time, I am NOT Jeff Bridges!
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56,399
wtf is he even talking about, what ideals. this is "jocks bag my groceries" type of mega cope losers have who can't move on. plenty of people have an awesome experience in high school and continue that into adulthood with fond memories to look back on.



:pig1:i invented post-it notes, child.

Patrick and Michelle's High School Reunion... IN SPACE!
 

EraGodless

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52,185
I imagine teenage Patrick decided life begins after school in a haze of comic books and ice cream, crying and defiantly reciting Captain Picard quotes in his mirror once he was cruelly uninvited of yet another drunken barnyard shindig with the jocks and girls. His mom yelling for him to get dinner whilst he swore an oath to himself to keep his geekiness hidden from plain view in college l and beat them at their own game, sexing a lot of women. Because that's what stealthy geeks are into. *turns up Powerman 5000 to maximum volume*

I'm not gay I'm not gay I'm not gay I'm gonna get laid this semester I'm gonna get laid I can pretend they won't even know it.
I'm COMING mom, gosh! You don't fucking get what my life is like you boomer. You're so cruel. I'll show you. I'll show you all!!!
Professor Chaos
 

EraGodless

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52,185
I was a total zilch in HS. But at least I don't turn to the whole "popular kids turning out to be losers when they graduate high school" cope. Even if they didn't amount to anything or are losers now at least they have those memories to look back on. What do people like Pat who were losers in HS and still are to this day have?
A cat, a frumpy lesbian wife, a 15 year old Mustang, legal debts, a severe alcohol and eating problem, a dump in a ghetto, and a healthy hatred for most of mankind.
 
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