"Civilian" who picked up Rick's chairs reaches out to him on Craigslist to arrange their return (☢️Pig Sperg-out Warning☢️)

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Does Patrick really think the FBI are going to subpoena Craigslist and crack a VPN for two worthless DIY chairs?

I’m sincerely asking and not doing a joke here.
He does seem to think that the end scenario for all of this is his him winning.
Can you do the JFK assassination one but instead of Jackie scrambling over the trunk to get John's brains could it be the chair? The worse the better. I'll hang up and listen.
 

Jenna

12 paramedics couldnt save ur fuckin life boy
Wait a minute. I've never seen a cop car made for transporting large, bulky items. They'd have to send one of those police vans when you need to arrest 8+ people. Awkwardly shove them in the back then turn on the sirens and race to N Oakland. Only to be screamed at by Patrick for not finding the culprits and told you're getting added to the lawsuit.
 

Harry Powell

The fact that this leech would rather send cops to go retrieve his stupid lawn chairs on the taxpayers dime than spend $35 to rent a van at Home Depot is extremely telling to how disingenuous all his political takes are

If this happened to me it wouldn’t even occur to me to involve the police at all, let alone to have them retrieve the chairs for me
 
Wait a minute. I've never seen a cop car made for transporting large, bulky items. They'd have to send one of those police vans when you need to arrest 8+ people. Awkwardly shove them in the back then turn on the sirens and race to N Oakland. Only to be screamed at by Patrick for not finding the culprits and told you're getting added to the lawsuit.
I legimitately hope this all goes according to Pat's plan insofar as:
  1. The unwitting thief is identified, and agrees to return the chairs.
  2. The police are notified and agree to retrieve his property.
  3. The chairs are returned to Patrick, courtesy of MPD.
Oh, fuck, they didn't fit in the cruiser so we had to dismantle them. Sorry.
 

Jenna

12 paramedics couldnt save ur fuckin life boy
I legimitately hope this all goes according to Pat's plan insofar as:
  1. The unwitting thief is identified, and agrees to return the chairs.
  2. The police are notified and agree to retrieve his property.
  3. The chairs are returned to Patrick, courtesy of MPD.
Oh, fuck, they didn't fit in the cruiser so we had to dismantle them. Sorry.

He thinks it's like the movies. An officer would whip out his badge and gun and point it at a passing pickup truck. Sir, we need to commandeer your truck for police business. A very important citizen needs his lawn furniture back ASAP.
 

Kim_Jong_Poon_

Yes. I had cyber sex sessions with Leslie.
I legimitately hope this all goes according to Pat's plan insofar as:
  1. The unwitting thief is identified, and agrees to return the chairs.
  2. The police are notified and agree to retrieve his property.
  3. The chairs are returned to Patrick, courtesy of MPD.
Oh, fuck, they didn't fit in the cruiser so we had to dismantle them. Sorry.
There's no way the cops said they'll get his stupid chairs. They won't even run the plates for Pat. That's how little they care
 
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