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Your first blowjob and best blow job

DiarrheaDick

Get up here and shut up!
Forum Clout
9,099
First blowjob I had was awkward since my girl at the time and I were both virgins, but she got a lot better over time. She was more into handjobs though. The wife can suck start a seized Detroit 16V71 so she gets the crown for best.
 

HH Brother

I wanna fuck you up the ass, funster.
Forum Clout
45,760
First blowjob I had was awkward since my girl at the time and I were both virgins, but she got a lot better over time. She was more into handjobs though. The wife can suck start a seized Detroit 16V71 so she gets the crown for best.
A good handjob and blowjob go hand and hand, brother. You get a bitch jerking you and it feels like glass.
 

HH Brother

I wanna fuck you up the ass, funster.
Forum Clout
45,760
Is your wiener chapped or something or are you getting hand jobs from a retired construction worker?
No, funster. It isn't.

No, funster. I did not.

I'm talking about technique just feels like shit and uncomfortable. Or just shitty rhythm.

Don't besmirch the good standing of my Mullenator penis, and I won't tell you again.
 

Mick_Mickerson

Which way?! Medium or well done?
Forum Clout
15,255
No, funster. It isn't.

No, funster. I did not.

I'm talking about technique just feels like shit and uncomfortable. Or just shitty rhythm.

Don't besmirch the good standing of my Mullenator penis, and I won't tell you again.
But you just said "a good blowjob and handjob go hand in hand." Why would that "feel like shit?" You're not making any sense, brothaman and you're confusing the dickens out of everyone
 

DiarrheaDick

Get up here and shut up!
Forum Clout
9,099
No, funster. It isn't.

No, funster. I did not.

I'm talking about technique just feels like shit and uncomfortable. Or just shitty rhythm.

Don't besmirch the good standing of my Mullenator penis, and I won't tell you again.
But have you considered letting Jesus into your heart?
 

JamieConway

Still Serchin' 4 Da Truf
Forum Clout
3,369
My best blowjob was from this ugly ass scank a few years ago. I mean she made me nut in less than 2 minutes. Most girls when my dick is in their mouth take FOREVER to get it right. Everytime I'm with a decent looking girl and I'm getting close they change speed or take a break and it ruins my momentum. But anyway most ugly girls have some special skill. Maybe it's the thrill of being with a pig and wanted it over with so I can get back to my book/videogame/guitar/jigsaw puzzle/sleep.
 

Rutherford_b_Blaze

Massachusetts State Senator
Forum Clout
31,403
My best blowjob was from this ugly ass scank a few years ago. I mean she made me nut in less than 2 minutes. Most girls when my dick is in their mouth take FOREVER to get it right. Everytime I'm with a decent looking girl and I'm getting close they change speed or take a break and it ruins my momentum. But anyway most ugly girls have some special skill. Maybe it's the thrill of being with a pig and wanted it over with so I can get back to my book/videogame/guitar/jigsaw puzzle/sleep.
WWAW jigsaw puzzles?
 

IDidThisForYou

Posting in the bakowza
Forum Clout
1,541
First one I was 15, she was 17. She was part of a group that I started hanging out with but I didn’t really know her. One day she’s crying because some guy she’s been friends with since kindergarten now hates her cause she didn’t want to date him. I’m the only one really listening and awkwardly trying to make her feel better (again I barely know her). She calms down after a while and takes me down to our friend’s basement. Sits me in a chair and asks me when my last time was. I’m speechless, not knowing what to do. I last all of 45 seconds before I come in her mouth. She swallows and says she could tell I had no experience whatsoever. She was cute, petite, kinda had a 70s look to her. Now she’s twice divorced, 3 kids. Completely estranged from her parents.

Best one was a friend in college. A bigger gal, kinda like Betsy, but not as heavy. And also not a cunt, but just as horrible with money. If she was broke, I’d occasionally buy her a pack of cigarettes, take her to lunch, minor shit. And about once a week she’d blow me in my car. Not sure what it was, but I’d be out of breath after cumming in her mouth. Ended after graduation, now she’s a doctor. Last I saw her was at a mall and she made it obvious she didn’t want to even look at me.
 
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