Your first blowjob and best blow job

[Former Prez Gerald Ford]

My first was probably one of the best, i was with my high school gf coming back from six flags. My parents had a mini van and we were way in the back reclined on the seat, it was dark so my parents couldn’t see anything. I don’t know if she was just highly skilled or it was the thrill of possibly getting caught by my parents or because it was my first but goddamn it felt so good I had to bite my fist to stop myself from moaning like a chick. I didn’t know what the protocol was so I pulled out of her mouth at the last second and blasted all over my shirt, I was quite literally soaked in cum.

I don’t know that I really have a “best”. My other ex gf from years back was Jewish and was obsessed with oral sex. She would beg me like a cock-starved whore all the time “please let me suck your cock please please” and she would moan loudly while she did it like she was getting fucked “mmmm uhhhh oh my god uhhh yesss yesss”. It would get me so hot just listening to her. For as much shit as I talk here about Jews I gotta admit their women are submissive perverts and most of them have fantastic giant tits.

 

[guest]

Ribs Nigga the same girl who blew me for the first time wanted me to fuck her. She started off nice but I kept ripping the condom. she wanted it raw so she yelled at me and pulled me by my dick and I yelled noooooooo. She called me a faggot pussy and told everyone in my house that I was gay cuz I wouldn’t fuck her

Smart move, bro. I would have caved.

 

[CumiaPoodle]

Smart move, bro. I would have caved.

Thank you daddy I was stupid when I was 13 and thought I could get aids from a virgin lol

 

[guest]

Thank you daddy I was stupid when I was 13 and thought I could get aids from a virgin lol

How did you eventually get AIDS? I’m just bustin’ stones!

 

[Smeckler's Powder]

First blowjob was my freshman year of college. I was at a party and was headed back to the dorms and this one black girl wanted a ride back so I gave her a lift. Now she was Oogaabooga shade of black but acted and talked like the stereotypical valley girl and so I thought she was cool but I’m not really attracted to black chicks. When I parked my truck she just jumps across the center console and starts kissing me. We get in the back seat and she proceeds to give me the worst blowjob ever and then I walk her to dorm, and we never talked about that night again.

My first great blowjob was after I went with my girlfriend to her moms house and we found that one of her dogs had died. My girlfriend was devastated but I calmed her down and I went and got the dog buried in their backyard. The thing had been dead for a day or two and was starting to stink. I had to use a pick axe to dig the hole because it was so rocky but luckily the dog was pretty small and I just needed a hole about the size of a small suit case. Well we go back to my house and I get in the shower where she joins me and sucks my dick. First time my ears ever rang when I came.

Dead dog head is the best

 

[Smeckler's Powder]

laid there the whole time watching planet of the apes.

That's what's up

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

My other ex gf from years back was Jewish and was obsessed with oral sex.

Fawk. I was with a “cultural Jew” at one point and that bitch hated giving blowjobs. You got lucky brothaman

 

[Smeckler's Powder]

Don't remember the first one that well weirdly enough but I do believe it was filmed. As nutty and as into that chick as I was, I don't remember tons about about our various fuckings. One time we did like a get off challenge where if I was first it was going on her face...not sure what she would have won if she was first but she didn't beat me somehow. She was also the first of many parking garage fucks/bjs. Now most vegas garages charge...don't know how I would have survived as a homeless youth under the towns current conditions.

One time was getting blown at like 2am by the pool at this chicks house where she still lived with her parents. At some point I look at her house and her step dad is at the sliding glass door and I watch him see us and I looked away. Maybe he kept watching? He eventually blew his head off years later.

Got blown/fucked by a relatively famous TV lady. At like 3 am after a show I played we're in a hotel room party and without us hardly any interacting and me in fact thinking she's a bit of a bitch previously, she just sort of says out loud to me in the room "this G (GHB) is making me horny, wanna come to my house and have sex?" Nice lady.

Got blown in the green room bathroom after a concert when my band opened for a decently big band the first time. I made that bitch my wife and she is responsible for all of the best blowjobs. I guess that's why I wifed her.

 

[Dog Eater]

First was when I was 18 from a 36 year old woman I met on an internet forum. We lived in different cities but agreed to meet up for the express purpose of her taking my virginity. The next day she started blowing me in bed. She pulled her mouth off at the last moment so I blew all over my stomach. Then she swished the cum with her hand and said “dirty boy” and laughed.

The best was with an 18 year old American born Nigerian girl. We would 69 with her on top and she had no gag reflex so I’d just throat fuck her until I came in her mouth. She had better hair than bam and I was so in love with her that it fucked me up for years after we broke up.

 

[TheNanaDook]

First: 17 years old, first girlfriend. My dick still had her overnight rank pussy musk on it, and now that i hate her, that’s hilarious.
Best: a chubby Jewish girl who walked my former CEO’s dogs. She did a trick where she could stuff the whole thing in by literally swallowing the last bit of the shaft. First and last girl that could ever do that. Fawk.

 

[Former Prez Gerald Ford]

First: 17 years old, first girlfriend. My dick still had her overnight rank pussy musk on it, and now that i hate her, that’s hilarious.
Best: a chubby Jewish girl who walked my former CEO’s dogs. She did a trick where she could stuff the whole thing in by literally swallowing the last bit of the shaft. First and last girl that could ever do that. Fawk.

Nothin like a good heebjob amirite brotherman

 

[Zombie247]

My first was when I was 15 -16 . It was Christmas day. She was a family friend with a lazy eye. Who after a few sherries, became a whore. A Only Fools and Horses Xmas special was on the TV. And once I blew my load. She spat it out on my fake Wu-Wear hoodie. In retrospect I think she was right.

One of the best was in my late teens, early 20s. I was having casual sex with an older woman. She taught me the ropes. She was also the first to swallow. Wife material. A good girl, St Mel would be proud.

 

[Cartoon Redux]

I met this girl with huge tits on OKCupid, her parents were retard boomer bikers who were obsessed with Springsteen. I put on the O&A clip where the bbboys rip on Springsteen and she ended up blowing me while it was still playing. Anyways, she's a mudshark now like her sister.

 

[Cuphead]

Best blowjob I ever had was with some girl I hooked up with in college that worked at TGI Fridays. Probably would've pursued it if she didn't attend a school that was over an hour away.

 

[Former Prez Gerald Ford]

My first was when I was 15 -16 . It was Christmas day. She was a family friend with a lazy eye. Who after a few sherries, became a whore. A Only Fools and Horses Xmas special was on the TV. And once I blew my load. She spat it out on my fake Wu-Wear hoodie. In retrospect I think she was right.

One of the best was in my late teens, early 20s. I was having casual sex with an older woman. She taught me the ropes. She was also the first to swallow. Wife material. A good girl, St Mel would be proud.

So your first was a retard and your best was a nursing home resident?

Just bustin your grapes, brotherman. we like to have fun

 

[Wa4892]

Before I ever got my first blow job, my friends had actually convinced me that no girl with any self respect would let you cum in her mouth. If a girl let you cum in her mouth or, god forbid, swallowed, it meant she was a total whore and slut.

Well, the day came (no pun intended) for my first blowjob. I gave plenty of warning of what was about to happen. The girl kept going. I thought maybe she didn't hear me and repeated my warning. She kept going. About ten seconds later I came in her mouth and she swallowed. In that moment I was thinking to myself "my friends can all go fuck themselves. From this day forward I only want to date sluts and whores."

The best was from a girl I dated who claimed to have never given head to anyone before. Right out of the gate she was amazing AND she has perfect big tits. I was sure I was going to marry her, but things just didn't work out. Sigh.

 

[SoloJoeAcousticShow]

First was my high school gf niggardly holding my weiner with two fingers and half-heartedly sliding her tongue up and down while making faces and no eye contact, really dry and scratchy. Meh. I got to take her virginity right after so it was okay.

Never actually came from one after and got actually annoyed by it if it was like THE thing in a chicks repertoire and she didn't take the hint and made it go way too long. I've gone soft in a chicks mouth before and I never recovered - now I just switch gears instead of laying there like a fruit.

Then I came out and got blown by some 48yo veteran homo and came into his mouth (because fags are good people) with the force of a thousand suns. He grabbed onto my ass and pushed me so far down I got some of my ball meat in there even.

I find men are way more incompetent at sex on average in terms of hygiene, creativity, sensuality and pretty much "making love".
But boy do they know their way around sucking some mean dick.

 

[Former Prez Gerald Ford]

First was my high school gf niggardly holding my weiner with two fingers and half-heartedly sliding her tongue up and down while making faces and no eye contact, really dry and scratchy. Meh. I got to take her virginity right after so it was okay.

Never actually came from one after and got actually annoyed by it if it was like THE thing in a chicks repertoire and she didn't take the hint and made it go way too long. I've gone soft in a chicks mouth before and I never recovered - now I just switch gears instead of laying there like a fruit.

Then I came out and got blown by some 48yo veteran homo and came into his mouth (because fags are good people) with the force of a thousand suns. He grabbed onto my ass and pushed me so far down I got some of my ball meat in there even.

I find men are way more incompetent at sex on average in terms of hygiene, creativity, sensuality and pretty much "making love".
But boy do they know their way around sucking some mean dick.

Learned somethin knew about you today, brother man

Jack n jill went up da hill. Jill came down, Solojoe went up and blew Jack. It don’t rhyme, it just happened dat way.

OOOHHHHH

 

[Mick_Mickerson]

I put on the O&A clip where the bbboys rip on Springsteen and she ended up blowing me while it was still playing.

Nice cumming to the sound of Opie and Anthony's voices, stupid.

No wonder you're on a forum dedicated to them 10 years after the show's demise

 

[Cartoon Redux]

Nice cumming to the sound of Opie and Anthony's voices, stupid.

No wonder you're on a forum dedicated to them 10 years after the show's demise

got my fuckin ass