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WWAWD Bert Kreischer's upcoming Machine movie?
- Thread starter CokeCanCock
- Start date
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Guest
Am I the only person who has never heard the machine bit?
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Thank god it's a theater exclusive. I seriously cannot wait to watch this fucker bomb in the box office.
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Nope. Despite Bert apparently telling it everywhere he goes for the last 15 years, I've never actually heard the thing.
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- 9,272
It was pretty funny 15 years ago. Saw him 2 years ago and he's not only still ending his set with the bit, he's now giving a full breakdown on how it spread through social media and how surprised he was. He did seem really happy and greatful for the turnout, genuinely.
Also, didn't he loan this bit out to Jay Mohr for a time, or was he the one who originally came up with it?
Also, didn't he loan this bit out to Jay Mohr for a time, or was he the one who originally came up with it?
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Hahaha, you guys think he will take his shirt off in the movie? That would be a real hoot. What a guy!
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Oh come on. Just because the trailer has barely cracked 500,000 views in two weeks doesn't mean people won't be camped out around the block for this hilarious thrill ride!
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Years too late for this shit show. I hope it flops so bad, Bert has to sell his asshole to make ends meet.
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- 78,085
Maybe in an unreleased scene in the Criterion edition
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It has the production quality of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. It just feels cheap.
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- 47,450
Another lame-ass kike shekel grab.
Spoiler, Bert blows Zelenski and Zelenski dubs him the blowjob machine.
Spoiler, Bert blows Zelenski and Zelenski dubs him the blowjob machine.
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He seems like a harmless dumb alcoholic loser but fuck I can't stand this guy
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It's a fake story, funster.
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The funniest part is gonna be when he keels over one morning from years of hard alcohol abuse and all the Roganite shitheads are babbling about how great he was.
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See I was this guy, listened to the bit, don't even remember the punchline. Just that it involved the Russia Mafia and they thought Bert did something he didn't do and called him the machine. You never want your trademark bit to be forgettable.
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The fact he's still milking it really says how much of a hack he is. The only other thing he's know for is taking his shirt off
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Don’t forget that hilarious and totally not forced squeal laugh he does
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Bert was trying to bullshit his way through college, and he had to get some language credits, so he took Russian after cutting a deal with the teacher where he'd get a passing grade as long as he showed up. So they took a trip to Russia. Bert immediately got loaded, sought out some gangster chaperones, and accidentally identified himself as "The Machine", which they thought was funny. So they got him drunk and wandered around robbing people, including his own classmates. That's pretty much the whole story. Basically, he's a degenerate alcoholic asshole, and he's fat too.