WWAW Bruce Willis retiring?

[UnPRePared]

I was indirectly in two movies with Bruce Willis. Look Who's Talking and the horrendous shitpile North where that kike Rob Reiner tried to kill me eskimo-style by actually drifting me into the Arctic Ocean on a chunk of ice. My role was already cut down significantly because I made a JOKE about needing Kathy Bates' blubber to keep me warm and Graham Greene punched me in the face for calling him a wagon burner. I also drew a Charlie Chaplin mustache on young Elijah Wood as an innocent little prank on Reiner and he took it way differently and cried about being a Jew for the rest of the day. I also used magic marker for the mustache, Elijah got all dizzy and apparently that was some huge problem. Bunch of fucking pussies on that set.

Anyways, I heard Bruce Willis is a closet gay and probably molested Aaron Carter. I won't be vouching for him to get into any of the celebrity ghost parties.

Kid actors are the worst, aren't they, Abe? They ruin every film. The only time I don't think a kid hurt a movie was Bobby Driscoll in "The Window", and even he was still a little aggravating.

My opinion: adults should pretend to play children and walk on their knees in prosthetics a la Lon Chaney - yes, he was in permanent pain the rest of his life after doing it for "The Penalty", but what price art, right?

Or every child should be played by Danny Devito. Problem solved.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Guy like that has been living large for decades. His daughters didn’t amount to shit so he’s got to leave enough for them and their mixed babies.

If he made all of those shit movies to ensure they were taken care of, that’s admirable and PFG.

I've only ever seen Rumer Willis in an episode of Workaholics and she's distractingly weird looking. I wouldn't even call her ugly, per se. She's just got that crazy jaw.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Kid actors are the worst, aren't they, Abe? They ruin every film. The only time I don't think a kid hurt a movie was Bobby Driscoll in "The Window", and even he was still a little aggravating.

My opinion: adults should pretend to play children and walk on their knees in prosthetics a la Lon Chaney - yes, he was in permanent pain the rest of his life after doing it for "The Penalty", but what price art, right?

Or every child should be played by Danny Devito. Problem solved.

I actually auditioned for the role of Elliott in E.T.. They told me I was too old but I overheard Spielberg say I wasn't "fuckable." What does that even mean? First off, why does a child need sex appeal and second, what's Henry Thomas got that I don't?

By the way, I just looked up clips of Lon Chaney in The Penalty. Holy fuck. Seeing that made me sciatica flare up. They folded his legs right up, eh? You can't even see an outline of his feet through the back of his jacket.

 

[UnPRePared]

I actually auditioned for the role of Elliott in E.T.. They told me I was too old but I overheard Spielberg say I wasn't "fuckable." What does that even mean? First off, why does a child need sex appeal and second, what's Henry Thomas got that I don't?

By the way, I just looked up clips of Lon Chaney in The Penalty. Holy fuck. Seeing that made me sciatica flare up. They folded his legs right up, eh? You can't even see an outline of his feet through the back of his jacket.

HE folded his own legs up. Much like he did his own makeup, he helped create the device to hide his legs and walk on his kneecaps. He'd have to get routinely massaged because of the loss of blood flow being in that for hours at a time.

That guy was so committed to the bit, he'd do damn near anything to get a part absolutely right.

If you ever want to see a wild performance of his that's a fever dream of silent performance, watch "He Who Gets Slapped". Lot of psychology in that movie.

 

[Patrick O'Neal]

I'd heard about him phoning it in for the past few years but I didn't realize it was to this extent. Jesus..

Corrective Measures sounds good.

The record, child. It must be .... correcTed!

 

[Imager]

That guy was so committed to the bit, he'd do damn near anything to get a part absolutely right.

This may describe you if you are indeed not actually Ray Wilson.

 

[guest]

Anyways, I heard Bruce Willis is a closet gay and probably molested Aaron Carter.

It's a matter of public record that he spent a million dollars on "gifts" for a 13 year old Aaron Carter. That's normal. And Carter is so fucked up now it would suggest he had some messed up stuff happen to him in the past. Not a leap that getting boned by John McClane might be the reason.

 

[UnPRePared]

This may describe you if you are indeed not actually Ray Wilson.

Keep the mysticism, the doubt helps me more than you realize.

 

[Imager]

It's a matter of public record that he spent a million dollars on "gifts" for a 13 year old Aaron Carter. That's normal. And Carter is so fucked up now it would suggest he had some messed up stuff happen to him in the past. Not a leap that getting boned by John McClane might be the reason.

"Welcome to the pedo party, pal!"

 

[soulbrotherman#1]

So he would lend himself to these movies for 3-4 days and shoot all of his scenes as rapidly as possible. While the other actors shot around a more normal schedule.

I'm sure that helped with his mental decline...

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I'm sure that helped with his mental decline...

Acting as a profession can't be good for your mental health in general. Having to pretend you're a bunch of different people all the time. Hell, during the Barney Miller/Fish days, I didn't know where Fish stopped and Abe Vigoda began. I'd come home from the set, drink heavily, and scream at my wife about how I have to get knives pulled on me by spooks all day and I have to come home to a cold, half assed meal. She'd remind me that I was only a cop on TV and I'd punch her in the eye. I miss being alive.

 

[AwfulManTitTankTop]

It's a matter of public record that he spent a million dollars on "gifts" for a 13 year old Aaron Carter. That's normal. And Carter is so fucked up now it would suggest he had some messed up stuff happen to him in the past. Not a leap that getting boned by John McClane might be the reason.

Aaron Carter also got turned out by notorious fat faggot pederast Lou Pearlman, the guy that put together Nsync, the backstreet boys, and a host of other, far less successful boy bands. Aaron maintains that Lou never touched him but he's so fucked up now that that seems highly unlikely.

 

[Raymond]

Did he even do anything worthwhile since "Twelve Monkeys"?

 

[UnPRePared]

Did he even do anything worthwhile since "Twelve Monkeys"?

The first RED was amusing, nothing special. Unbreakable was a neat idea too.

But neither are worth watching more than once.

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

View attachment 31930

sounds like a work. He was in like 7 movies released last year and they were all bad, so he wants to come up with an excuse to retire and save face instead of continuing to be in straight to video style movies that hurt his legacy. I mean the guy has played John Hartigan, John McClane, Joe Hallenbeck, David Dunn and other badass roles, he can still retire and be remembered well. But if he keeps doing crap he'll just end up being seen like Thomas Jane, Gerard Butler or Cuba gooding, guys who are talented and were in some big movies, but now do exclusively crap (nic cage somehow keeps playing hopscotch with the line)

 

[guest]

sounds like a work. He was in like 7 movies released last year and they were all bad, so he wants to come up with an excuse to retire and save face instead of continuing to be in straight to video style movies that hurt his legacy. I mean the guy has played John Hartigan, John McClane, Joe Hallenbeck, David Dunn and other badass roles, he can still retire and be remembered well. But if he keeps doing crap he'll just end up being seen like Thomas Jane, Gerard Butler or Cuba gooding, guys who are talented and were in some big movies, but now do exclusively crap (nic cage somehow keeps playing hopscotch with the line)

I unironically love The Last Boy Scout.

 

[Mc.Faggot]

HE folded his own legs up. Much like he did his own makeup, he helped create the device to hide his legs and walk on his kneecaps. He'd have to get routinely massaged because of the loss of blood flow being in that for hours at a time.

That guy was so committed to the bit, he'd do damn near anything to get a part absolutely right.

If you ever want to see a wild performance of his that's a fever dream of silent performance, watch "He Who Gets Slapped". Lot of psychology in that movie.

im streaming the penalty right now, thanks for the suggestion

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

Kevin Smith Apologizes to Bruce Willis Over Petty ‘Cop Out’ Complaints: ‘I Feel Like an A–hole’

Hollywood actors, directors and more are reacting to Bruce Willis' retirement and apashia diagnosis.

variety.com

Look who's come out of the woodwork.

what a pussy. I mean if you're gonna say Bruce willis is a dick, you're probably right. At least stick to your guns

Kid actors are the worst, aren't they, Abe? They ruin every film. The only time I don't think a kid hurt a movie was Bobby Driscoll in "The Window", and even he was still a little aggravating.

My opinion: adults should pretend to play children and walk on their knees in prosthetics a la Lon Chaney - yes, he was in permanent pain the rest of his life after doing it for "The Penalty", but what price art, right?

Or every child should be played by Danny Devito. Problem solved.

they could do it like Gary Oldman played a midget in tiptoes

 

[Mc.Faggot]

what a pussy. I mean if you're gonna say Bruce willis is a dick, you're probably right. At least stick to your guns

Not like he’s gonna remember

 

[RaggotFetard]

It's a matter of public record that he spent a million dollars on "gifts" for a 13 year old Aaron Carter. That's normal. And Carter is so fucked up now it would suggest he had some messed up stuff happen to him in the past. Not a leap that getting boned by John McClane might be the reason.

I fucked Aaron’s current baby mama about 6 years ago. Her name’s Mel and she used to bar tend at my local bikini bar. Crazy bitch is perfect for him.