What's the most embarrassing thing about you?

[guest]

Got a mail order bride? Got a tiny dick? Got an embarrassing criminal record?

I used to thieve. I got arrested when I was 17 trying to sneak two bottles of vodka in my pants. The store manager and a couple security guards met me outside and I put the bottles down and I said, "Aight, shit." Also got arrested stealing a protein bar when I was 18 and poor and very hungry. You?

I got a couple others. Like a mediocre sized penis, porn zapped my libido a bit, etc. But the thieving stuff makes me cringe.

 

[guest]

Too bad Wormkiller isn’t around anymore to post in this thread. Miss that fella.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

I post on this forum.

 

[Carl Winslow]

people don't like talking to me because I'm mad all the time.

 

[Mitch Weaver]

I seriously considered supporting the Artie & Anthony show when it debuted.

 

[guest]

people don't like talking to me because I'm mad all the time.

You like to brood?

 

[satanssockpuppet]

I never learned how to ride a bicycle.

 

[guest]

I have like 4 alibis with different personalities and backstories I use in everyday life when meeting strangers, making small talk, etc. just for fun.

 

[Lenny's Comic Footster]

I went on NPS and sang a shittily covered version of Layla to entertain Dan, and instead of punching out I stuck around, answered his questions seriously, and tried not to step on the rest of the podcast, only chiming in when I was asked to give my opinion.

Thinking about this makes me want to drink a gallon of bleach every morning I wake up.

Also, if that Slavic nigga who called in from that terrorist hideout actually was @safka13 , it was fucking hilarious and maybe a top 3 funniest thing to happen on the podcast

 

[guest]

I have like 4 alibis with different personalities and backstories I use in everyday life when meeting strangers, making small talk, etc. just for fun.

 

[Snake]

I was in the first episode of NPS.

 

[guest]

in my drinking days i went to a dorm party, all night was the odd duck...so got even drunker, then at night when we all passed out had to puke, and i puked in the laundry machine thinking it was the sink. With all their white clothes in it. Nobody knew but I couldn't look at myself from then on. Then the morning when party host scream woke everyone...had to act startled/uh-fended like everybody else (while secretly just extremely ashamed).

 

[Former Prez Gerald Ford]

I went on NPS and sang a shittily covered version of Layla to entertain Dan, and instead of punching out I stuck around, answered his questions seriously, and tried not to step on the rest of the podcast, only chiming in when I was asked to give my opinion.

Thinking about this makes me want to drink a gallon of bleach every morning I wake up.

Also, if that Slavic nigga who called in from that terrorist hideout actually was @safka13 , it was fucking hilarious and maybe a top 3 funniest thing to happen on the podcast

I’m a guitar player/singer myself brotherman. Your cover sounded pretty good to me tbphwy. The only embarrassing part about it was performing it on that shitty podcast

 

[guest]

I went on NPS and sang a shittily covered version of Layla to entertain Dan, and instead of punching out I stuck around, answered his questions seriously, and tried not to step on the rest of the podcast, only chiming in when I was asked to give my opinion.

Thinking about this makes me want to drink a gallon of bleach every morning I wake up.

Also, if that Slavic nigga who called in from that terrorist hideout actually was @safka13 , it was fucking hilarious and maybe a top 3 funniest thing to happen on the podcast

Not a bad cover tbh. You're good at da acoustic. Welcome back chink.

 

[NortheastPhilly]

I went on NPS and sang a shittily covered version of Layla to entertain Dan, and instead of punching out I stuck around, answered his questions seriously, and tried not to step on the rest of the podcast, only chiming in when I was asked to give my opinion.

I was in the first episode of NPS.

I have you both beat.
When I tricked Dan into thinking I was Joe Cumia, I literally planned it out for like a week, emailed him over the course of another, and when it came time to speak with him as “Joe’s band manager” I literally wrote notes on what to say if he asked certain questions about my identity. And I did all that just hoping he would think it was funny enough to have me on the show.
As embarrassing as that is, my only regret was not recording myself Josiahing him because it was glorious.

 

[guest]

I have you both beat.
When I tricked Dan into thinking I was Joe Cumia, I literally planned it out for like a week, emailed him over the course of another, and when it came time to speak with him as “Joe’s band manager” I literally wrote notes on what to say if he asked certain questions about my identity. And I did all that just hoping he would think it was funny enough to have me on the show.
As embarrassing as that is, my only regret was not recording myself Josiahing him because it was glorious.

I could tell because of that, that in your next appearances you were basically phoning it in...

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

My mail-order bride has a tiny dick and an extensive criminal history.

 

[Lenny's Comic Footster]

I have you both beat.
When I tricked Dan into thinking I was Joe Cumia, I literally planned it out for like a week, emailed him over the course of another, and when it came time to speak with him as “Joe’s band manager” I literally wrote notes on what to say if he asked certain questions about my identity. And I did all that just hoping he would think it was funny enough to have me on the show.
As embarrassing as that is, my only regret was not recording myself Josiahing him because it was glorious.

Yeah that was fucking awesome. The Bobo call in absolutely stunk, but the reveal was hilarious. Then Stu doxxing himself was the icing on the cake.

No homo, but you were great on the pod

 

[NortheastPhilly]

Yeah that was fucking awesome. The Bobo call in absolutely stunk, but the reveal was hilarious. Then Stu doxxing himself was the icing on the cake.

No homo, but you were great on the pod

I still have our entire email conversation, and I honestly didnt post it only out of courtesy to Dan because I think its scummy to post private convos. But I guess thats out the window now

 

[Lenny's Comic Footster]

Not a bad cover tbh. You're good at da acoustic. Welcome back chink.

I was too embarrassed to ever listen back, I learned the song in like two hours before the show and then cut the last verse out cause I kinda pussed halfway through. My original intent was to have the perfect punch out, but now I suppose Dan wouldn't have got the reference.

Also, back to my whole bewilderment at the Dan thing (and also even the Mew is a fat chink-jew). Like when you and Mew both started calling me asian, what did I do? I changed my avatar to Jerry Jen and spent 2 weeks typing in engrish and calling David Sohn a dog eating faggot.

We've been doing this thing for 4 years, and much longer on reddit. It shouldn't be that difficult.