The Abe Vigoda Canadian Thanksgiving Spectacular Megathread

[Turk February]

So my kid wakes up from her nap, right? She was in bed next to me and she flops over onto shoulder and goes "here papa, it's yucky." I take it from her and it's fucking gooey and weird. I can't see it well because the curtains are closed so I ask her "what is it?". "It's poopoo."

Well fuck me. I roll out of bed to go wash my hands, make her get off the bed and wait for me, wash her hands and then start looking for the shit that must be in my bed. Nothing. Not so much as a rabbit turd. So I go to change her diaper and it's completely fucking clean. On top of that she was in pants and one of those shirts that button between the legs. No way she could reach in there. All that panic and moving around with my fucked up back for nothing.

She's already trolling at a sixth grade level.

Ghost poop is the most psychologically taxing of poops.

 

[Turk February]

To our American friends, corner gas is a show that makes big bang theory look like comedy gold.

 

[Chad Turkuerry]

Ghost poop is the most psychologically taxing of poops.

Honestly I'm a little bit shook up over the whole thing. What was it and where did it come from?

 

[Turk February]

Honestly I'm a little bit shook up over the whole thing. What was it and where did it come from?

This is why I keep inviting @TheGhostOfAbeVigoda to go ghost hunting with me. Canada has so many mysteries.

 

[Chad Turkuerry]

She was very concerned about my back, though. She tried to get into the medicine cabinet and I had to tell her to chill out.

 

[ミスタースパーコル]

Lazy even for you. Stop it

Was not coming up with a name for sara the lazy part.

 

[Chad Turkuerry]

Was not coming up with a name for sara the lazy part.

Don't let him ruin Canadian Thanksgiving.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

Was not coming up with a name for sara the lazy part.

In the spirit of Canada, i apologize

 

[Turk February]

Don't let him ruin Canadian Thanksgiving.

The British colonial forces and the Indians met and drank each other's piss to show trust. Can't we do the same?

 

[Chad Turkuerry]

The British colonial forces and the Indians met and drank each other's piss to show trust. Can't we do the same?

This is the only bit of Canadian history I remember from school

 

[Turk February]

Well Luis Riel did a 96 with his friend and was executed for it.

 

[Chad Turkuerry]

@Mustard chill out bud. I swear I'll respond to one of the fifteen DMs you've started with me in the last two days eventually

 

[Turk February]

And Laura Secord karate kicker 109 Americans to death cuz she was Canadian, bitch. She murdered 100 of you. We have a monument to the soldiers YOU lost.

 

[Chad Turkuerry]

Three full pages of car crashes is just silly

 

[Turk February]

@Mustard chill out bud. I swear I'll respond to one of the fifteen DMs you've started with me in the last two days eventually

He's latched on to you now? He's an autistic barnacle.

 

[Chad Turkuerry]

He's latched on to you now? He's an autistic barnacle.

Barnacles have proportionally huge dicks though

 

[Turk February]

Barnacles have proportionally huge dicks though

He used to send me movie scripts and shit. Yeah I'm totally gunna read that. Mustard just lives in the trashcan beside people's computers.

 

[Chad Turkuerry]

He told me that he's gay but just for you

 

[Turk February]

I tried being nice to him cuz he's clearly a Wyyz and I offered him money to cowrite for me for the Boq and Turk in the Mornings show. Cuz Boq has a team and im flying solo. He got scared and turned it down.

 

[Chad Turkuerry]

@Mustard you missed like 50 pages. Slacker