The Abe Vigoda Canadian Thanksgiving Spectacular Megathread

[T-t-t-Terry!]

Does @BonnieMcFarlaneMe2 even know what it's like to be hooked on chinenis? Fucking normies bro

 

[Turk February]

that's the most healthiest person in canada and you better listen to her buddy boy

Canadians are remarkably healthy for the shit we eat. Probably cuz everything is so far away and even in a parkinglot you get to walk a lot. Unless you're in Brantford. In which case everyone is in a wheelchair for some reason

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

WWAWD weed you bought from a fucking injun store yesterday looking and smelling like the ammonia-soaked .5s disguised as grams that shaved years off your life you used to desperately buy in high school? Should I reignite my feud with the injuns?

One time I thought they wrote GAY on my bag and went back and angrily confronted the guy and it turned out to be like GA 4 written sloppy. They were very apologetic and I was also very apologetic. It was very Canadian.

 

[Turk February]

WWAWD weed you bought from a fucking injun store yesterday looking and smelling like the ammonia-soaked .5s disguised as grams that shaved years off your life you used to desperately buy in high school? Should I reignite my feud with the injuns?

One time I thought they wrote GAY on my bag and went back and angrily confronted the guy and it turned out to be like GA 4 written sloppy. They were very apologetic and I was also very apologetic. It was very Canadian.

I don't smoke weed but I buy counterfeit native cigarettes and sometimes I go "what am I doing to myself, this thing just caught on fire".

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I don't smoke weed but I buy counterfeit native cigarettes and sometimes I go "what am I doing to myself, this thing just caught on fire".

If you buy those bagged ones, it's the floor sweeping and they literally piss on them. Notice you never see Natives smoking bag smokes. But yeah, I get a native brand most of the time too and the odd one will basically have a piece of wood in it lol.

 

[T-t-t-Terry!]

Canadians are remarkably healthy for the shit we eat. Probably cuz everything is so far away and even in a parkinglot you get to walk a lot. Unless you're in Brantford. In which case everyone is in a wheelchair for some reason

We're shivering six to eight months of the year. Automatic caloric destruction

 

[Turk February]

To American friends. Native Americans sell surplus tobacco cigarettes usually cheaper than name brands. However. Some native reservations will make counterfeit cigarettes from their absolute surplus of surplus and like wood chips.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

To American friends. Native Americans sell surplus tobacco cigarettes usually cheaper than name brands. However. Some native reservations will make counterfeit cigarettes from their absolute surplus of surplus and like wood chips.

I live right by the grimiest rez known to man but you kind of have to respect them being like "nah, we'll do what the fuck we want and if you send anyone in to stop it there will be a shitstorm and we'll fuck your shit up for years."

 

[Turk February]

Me buying cigarettes is like a drug deal. I have a native guy who sells them to me while riding a scooter. I always pay cash and write something dumb on the envelope.

 

[Turk February]

He used to be my roommate and would listen to Sandstorm by DaRude every morning. Also would narrate his day outloud like "gotta get my socks on" but it wasn't annoying. It was funny.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Me buying cigarettes is like a drug deal. I have a native guy who sells them to me while riding a scooter. I always pay cash and write something dumb on the envelope.

They have legit expensive storefronts here for smokes and weed that are straight up illegal. It's awesome.

 

[Jen_Tomlinson]

WWAWD weed you bought from a fucking injun store yesterday looking and smelling like the ammonia-soaked .5s disguised as grams that shaved years off your life you used to desperately buy in high school? Should I reignite my feud with the injuns?

One time I thought they wrote GAY on my bag and went back and angrily confronted the guy and it turned out to be like GA 4 written sloppy. They were very apologetic and I was also very apologetic. It was very Canadian.

Sorreeee sorreee

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

He used to be my roommate and would listen to Sandstorm by DaRude every morning. Also would narrate his day outloud like "gotta get my socks on" but it wasn't annoying. It was funny.

I used to request my one ex narrate what she was doing because she had a cool light Scottish accent and it was like listening to an audio book but funny because every second thing she did was retarded.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Sorreeee sorreee

Jen are you Canadian? Are you Native? ANSWER ME, BOY!

 

[Turk February]

I used to request my one ex narrate what she was doing because she had a cool light Scottish accent and it was like listening to an audio book but funny because every second thing she did was retarded.

This guy has no accent. For the longest time I thought he was Asian Canadian. I was a bit surprised to learn he's native but it made sense. Guy is an amazing scammer. He would trick bar music machines into thinking he gave it money, put on 4 hours of Christmas music and just leave.

Edit 1: he would do this in the summer.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I live right by the grimiest rez known to man but you kind of have to respect them being like "nah, we'll do what the fuck we want and if you send anyone in to stop it there will be a shitstorm and we'll fuck your shit up for years."

The grimey savages get away with whatever they want because they're totally unified where whitey is just arguing with eachother all the damn time.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

The grimey savages get away with whatever they want because they're totally unified where whitey is just arguing with eachother all the damn time.

That's right, Abe.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

That's right, Abe.

Thanks, Abe. Back to you at the studio, Abe, what do we have here?? Ahaha? Is that a piñata?

 

[T-t-t-Terry!]

Me buying cigarettes is like a drug deal. I have a native guy who sells them to me while riding a scooter. I always pay cash and write something dumb on the envelope.

I've ordered them by the bag online lol. Chill out

 

[Jen_Tomlinson]

Jen are you Canadian? Are you Native? ANSWER ME, BOY!

No but worked in most of the provinces a lifetime ago. Sorrree was the first word I learned in canadese