The Abe Vigoda Canadian Thanksgiving Spectacular Megathread

[Turrdy Fawwwwwwk]

You ever been tied down to a bed and had a catheter stuck in your cock as punishment? I have. Fuck that. I'm not going to the hospital until it turns black.

... punishment? No

 

[HR@PaneraBread]

Apparently Panera HR didn't read through the other 195 pages of the Abe Vigoda Canadian Thanksgiving Spectacular Megathread. 96 is a traditional Canadian sex position.

Look Abe, we're trying to show our support but we've had this other thread that's more of a bloodsports disaster and it's all been a bit much. We're sorry we couldn't come up here and be part of the festivities. Going back to page 1 momentarily

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I actually asked my stepmother to make me a shirt that says "blind people are retards". Because 1) they are. 2) they can't see the shirt to be offended by it.

 

[Turrdy Fawwwwwwk]

Do you feel like you deserve this or something?

I do but this isn't about me

 

[Turk February]

I used to know a blind girl irl she became a streamer and when I was fucking drunk I'd insist on doing her show. It's the only thing I've asked to be deleted off the internet.

 

[HR@PaneraBread]

Lol we had a blind guy? That's a kind of retard.

The funniest thread title we ever saw was this guy. It read "WWAWD using your disability to sexually assault women?"

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I used to know a blind girl irl she became a streamer and when I was fucking drunk I'd insist on doing her show. It's the only thing I've asked to be deleted off the internet.

There was a deaf girl I went to public school and highschool with. They let her sing O Canada on the morning announcements several times while the entire school erupted in laughter. I don't know why the fuck they allowed that.

It's actually really sad. In hindsight she was actually super pretty but everyone just saw her as a retard because of her voice and she also kind of hated everyone by default because she assumed they were going to be dicks to her anyways.

 

[Turk February]

I was so fucked up the first time I came on her show I forgot to use my Turk February account and used my real name on Google Hangouts. I said a lot of dumb shit. Thank god she was a friend in highschool and agreed to get rid of it.

 

[Turk February]

There was a deaf girl I went to public school and highschool with. They let her sing O Canada on the morning announcements several times while the entire school erupted in laughter. I don't know why the fuck they allowed that.

It's actually really sad. In hindsight she was actually super pretty but everyone just saw her as a retard because of her voice and she also kind of hated everyone by default because she assumed they were going to be dicks to her anyways.

Ever seen a porno with a deaf chick? It's genuinely disturbing.

 

[Turrdy Fawwwwwwk]

There was a deaf girl I went to public school and highschool with. They let her sing O Canada on the morning announcements several times while the entire school erupted in laughter. I don't know why the fuck they allowed that.

It's actually really sad. In hindsight she was actually super pretty but everyone just saw her as a retard because of her voice and she also kind of hated everyone by default because she assumed they were going to be dicks to her anyways.

But them tiddies weren't deaf

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Ever seen a porno with a deaf chick? It's genuinely disturbing.

Lol yeah. I saw some efukt video of it. It's fucking haunting.

 

[Turk February]

When she would come to bum cigarettes in highschool I learned to stop my breath and just make myself invisible to her.

 

[Turk February]

Lol yeah. I saw some efukt video of it. It's fucking haunting.

I think I saw the same one. We both have PTSD from it.

 

[Turrdy Fawwwwwwk]

When she would come to bum cigarettes in highschool I learned to stop my breath and just make myself invisible to her.

She was too polite to tell you she could smell you from the next room over

 

[Turk February]

She was too polite to tell you she could smell you from the next room over

Actually a few years later when I went to an adult school someone told me they always knew I was around when they smelled gin and Rothmans before they saw me.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Actually a few years later when I went to an adult school someone told me they always knew I was around when they smelled gin and Rothmans before they saw me.

Jesus Christ I just realized I haven't drank gin in a long time. Bombay Sapphire rules and it gets you a whole different kind of drunk than whiskey.

 

[Turrdy Fawwwwwwk]

Nosturrydamus ova here

 

[Turk February]

Jesus Christ I just realized I haven't drank gin in a long time. Bombay Sapphire rules and it gets you a whole different kind of drunk than whiskey.

Yeah. I quit all hard alcohol. Gin was my favorite. And Bombay Sapphire rules. But I was more of a Tanqueray guy.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Yeah. I quit all hard alcohol. Gin was my favorite. And Bombay Sapphire rules. But I was more of a Tanqueray guy.

You just liked having those fancy bottles. Sapphire>Tanqueray>Beefeater

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Yeah. I quit all hard alcohol. Gin was my favorite. And Bombay Sapphire rules. But I was more of a Tanqueray guy.

Why'd ya quit the hard stuff? Did you cut your hand and foot on a dirty piece of garbage and get a painful infection or something like that?