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Piggy's secret car blog and twitter account? Larps as a mechanic with the pen name "Torque Wheeler"

Salted Earth Truffle

Eat your heart out, Alan Titchmarsh
Torque’s Top Tips: Paint Jobs

1. Fun fact: A paint job is not a handjob from a painted hand.

2. Bleach and acetone can be great for cleaning, but this is your car. Have you ever thought of taking it to a car wash? Probably not. I’m sorry you’re stupid.

3. Most people don’t realize this, but leaving your car exposed to the elements year-round is asking for damage. No self-respecting car owner does that unless he’s dead broke and owes some street shitter $38,000. Park your car in a garage or at least under a car port.

4. Car keys aren’t made like they used to be. They’re made far, far more technologically advanced. One problem: You can’t “key” a car with one of these newfangled fobs. So when the security cameras are rolling, shove that penlight in your mouth — and don’t forget to take an old fashioned key when you set out to vandalize your own vehicle.

Thank me later.

B6E720D0-FCEB-4173-AD1D-5462AE4CD13D.png
 

FurBurger

Cars aren't built like they used to be. They're b

Salted Earth Truffle

Eat your heart out, Alan Titchmarsh
Speaking of which, I'm claiming credit for his latest blog.

I checked it a while back, and found he'd published nothing since 7th July; and as soon as I posted he got his shit together and posted something.
Pat can’t resist the dopamine hits he gets here, either. He’s like so many other “authors” who focus most of their time on Twitter. It shows in their (lack of) productivity, tone, and overall angry vibe.

Imagine giving away your time and effort for the likes of Twitter trash, to the endless delight of your enemies. Nice priorities, stupid.

And he’s never getting his checkmark back. XD
 

Shane Gillis

Stand-up comedian, Philly
"Cars and trucks today lug around more equipment than ever before in a time of rising gas prices"
Way to needlessly date the article, Thikki truly knows absolutely nothing about running a blog. Also isn't he sucking Biden's dick for gas prices being le awesomesauce?

All I know is that Niki has just commented on every blog post. No way he lets any comment out of moderation though:

View attachment 66164
Pat BEETS women
 

Harry Kilmer

Yeah, it's a duplex. Look it up!
Torque’s Top Tips: Paint Jobs

1. Fun fact: A paint job is not a handjob from a painted hand.

2. Bleach and acetone can be great for cleaning, but this is your car. Have you ever thought of taking it to a car wash? Probably not. I’m sorry you’re stupid.

3. Most people don’t realize this, but leaving your car exposed to the elements year-round is asking for damage. No self-respecting car owner does that unless he’s dead broke and owes some street shitter $38,000. Park your car in a garage or at least under a car port.

4. Car keys aren’t made like they used to be. They’re made far, far more technologically advanced. One problem: You can’t “key” a car with one of these newfangled fobs. So when the security cameras are rolling, shove that penlight in your mouth — and don’t forget to take an old fashioned key when you set out to vandalize your own vehicle.

Thank me later.

View attachment 66149

The Pat Thomas thing still shatters my ribs
 

Shane Gillis

Stand-up comedian, Philly
Let's fucking gooo! he blesses us with another article! Product review for some $20 plastic cleaning kit again. Look how nasty he allowed his headlight to become, "car guy" btw

Restore Your Headlights

Apologies to Ben Shaprio’s life experience, but you want to keep everything wet throughout this process. The water acts as a lubricant to keep the sanding surface from clogging up or the plastic itself from overheating and melting.
no idea what the kike mention is a reference to, but pretty sure successful car tutorial writers aren't doing it

you're supposed to remove the headlights to do this, but Pat "car guy" Tomlinson doesn't know how to do that and is lazy, so he just uses a bunch of masking tape to try to prevent abrasive chemicals from hitting the paint. Guess we can't accuse him of doing "just follow instructions on the box" articles lol.

Folks, it’s brand stinkin’ new

Two sentences beginning with "Anyway, "

Third article out of like 7 in which he uses "Fear not"

Verdict: autistic retard.
 
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