Piggy's secret car blog and twitter account? Larps as a mechanic with the pen name "Torque Wheeler"

[Salted Earth Truffle]

Torque’s Top Tips: Paint Jobs

1. Fun fact: A paint job is not a handjob from a painted hand.

2. Bleach and acetone can be great for cleaning, but this is your car. Have you ever thought of taking it to a car wash? Probably not. I’m sorry you’re stupid.

3. Most people don’t realize this, but leaving your car exposed to the elements year-round is asking for damage. No self-respecting car owner does that unless he’s dead broke and owes some street shitter $38,000. Park your car in a garage or at least under a car port.

4. Car keys aren’t made like they used to be. They’re made far, far more technologically advanced. One problem: You can’t “key” a car with one of these newfangled fobs. So when the security cameras are rolling, shove that penlight in your mouth — and don’t forget to take an old fashioned key when you set out to vandalize your own vehicle.

Thank me later.

 

[MySecondFatterAccount]

 

[FurBurger]

come on piggy, we know you're stalking our forum obsessively, we're ORDERING you to go and fix those. Obey your masters.

Speaking of which, I'm claiming credit for his latest blog.

I checked it a while back, and found he'd published nothing since 7th July; and as soon as I posted he got his shit together and posted something.

 

[guest]

[SIZE=26px]FALSE FLAG ALERT[/SIZE]

[SIZE=15px]Patrick just made automanic.co Tor-accessible. There is literally only one reason he would do that. [/SIZE]

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

Speaking of which, I'm claiming credit for his latest blog.

I checked it a while back, and found he'd published nothing since 7th July; and as soon as I posted he got his shit together and posted something.

Pat can’t resist the dopamine hits he gets here, either. He’s like so many other “authors” who focus most of their time on Twitter. It shows in their (lack of) productivity, tone, and overall angry vibe.

Imagine giving away your time and effort for the likes of Twitter trash, to the endless delight of your enemies. Nice priorities, stupid.

And he’s never getting his checkmark back. XD

 

[DanMullen'sRetardedNephew]

FALSE FLAG ALERT

Patrick just made automanic.co Tor-accessible. There is literally only one reason he would do that.

All I know is that Niki has just commented on every blog post. No way he lets any comment out of moderation though:

 

[Stent]

: Creating fake cyber-terror felony crimes on a blog with zero views? Automanic is here to help you with that.

 

[Beavis]

In his next blog post torque will explain the benefits of keeping gas in your car's tank.

 

[SFWA liaison]

"Cars and trucks today lug around more equipment than ever before in a time of rising gas prices"

Way to needlessly date the article, Thikki truly knows absolutely nothing about running a blog. Also isn't he sucking Biden's dick for gas prices being le awesomesauce?

All I know is that Niki has just commented on every blog post. No way he lets any comment out of moderation though:

View attachment 66164

Pat BEETS women

 

[Harry Powell]

Torque’s Top Tips: Paint Jobs

1. Fun fact: A paint job is not a handjob from a painted hand.

2. Bleach and acetone can be great for cleaning, but this is your car. Have you ever thought of taking it to a car wash? Probably not. I’m sorry you’re stupid.

3. Most people don’t realize this, but leaving your car exposed to the elements year-round is asking for damage. No self-respecting car owner does that unless he’s dead broke and owes some street shitter $38,000. Park your car in a garage or at least under a car port.

4. Car keys aren’t made like they used to be. They’re made far, far more technologically advanced. One problem: You can’t “key” a car with one of these newfangled fobs. So when the security cameras are rolling, shove that penlight in your mouth — and don’t forget to take an old fashioned key when you set out to vandalize your own vehicle.

Thank me later.

View attachment 66149

The Pat Thomas thing still shatters my ribs

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

The Pat Thomas thing still shatters my ribs

The fact that we got audio of Pat giving his name as Pat S. Thomas in a court of law is proof that God exists and loves us. Ditto the tearful screaming at cops audio.

 

[SFWA liaison]

Let's fucking gooo! he blesses us with another article! Product review for some $20 plastic cleaning kit again. Look how nasty he allowed his headlight to become, "car guy" btw

Restore Your Headlights

Apologies to Ben Shaprio’s life experience, but you want to keep everything wet throughout this process. The water acts as a lubricant to keep the sanding surface from clogging up or the plastic itself from overheating and melting.

no idea what the kike mention is a reference to, but pretty sure successful car tutorial writers aren't doing it

you're supposed to remove the headlights to do this, but Pat "car guy" Tomlinson doesn't know how to do that and is lazy, so he just uses a bunch of masking tape to try to prevent abrasive chemicals from hitting the paint. Guess we can't accuse him of doing "just follow instructions on the box" articles lol.

Folks, it’s brand stinkin’ new

Two sentences beginning with "Anyway, "

Third article out of like 7 in which he uses "Fear not"

Verdict: autistic retard.

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

kike mention

Ben went on some rant about that "Wet Ass Pussy" song, and people memed it a good amount. The implication is that Ben can't get his own wife wet, so the concept of a "wet ass p-word" makes no sense to him.

 

[guest]

Ben went on some rant about that "Wet Ass Pussy" song, and people memed it a good amount. The implication is that Ben can't get his own wife wet, so the concept of a "wet ass p-word" makes no sense to him.

I don't know many "car guys" but based on the few I know most of them would either have no idea who Ben Shapiro is or if they do they are fans of his. He can't even LARP as masculine.

 

[More Worser]

Let's fucking gooo! he blesses us with another article! Product review for some $20 plastic cleaning kit again. Look how nasty he allowed his headlight to become, "car guy" btw

Restore Your Headlights


no idea what the kike mention is a reference to, but pretty sure successful car tutorial writers aren't doing it

you're supposed to remove the headlights to do this, but Pat "car guy" Tomlinson doesn't know how to do that and is lazy, so he just uses a bunch of masking tape to try to prevent abrasive chemicals from hitting the paint. Guess we can't accuse him of doing "just follow instructions on the box" articles lol.



Two sentences beginning with "Anyway, "

Third article out of like 7 in which he uses "Fear not"

Verdict: autistic retard.

Link doesn’t work for me. Hook me up, brotha man

 

[SFWA liaison]

Link doesn’t work for me. Hook me up, brotha man

oops fucked up the link with bbcode formatting, fixed: https://archive.ph/ueK79


or the direct link to his site if you don't mind Pat collecting your IP address https://automanic.co/restore-your-headlights/

 

[More Worser]

This absolute fuck.

Many factors impact how quickly headlight plastic deteriorates; if you park in a garage during the day, how close to the equator you live, etc.

Improper punctuation and grammar aside, “How close you live to the equator”? What an absolute wannabe knowitall this guy is.

He doesn’t actually know what causes headlights to get hazy but he Googled the causes and repeated the one he figured would make him seem smarter than the reader.