No Jokes. Real Question. FOR REAL. Do you have serious thoughts of Suicide?

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Now that I am acting again, I get really fawking suicidal during asthma attacks.

My one buddy had athsma attacks all the time and I was a real prick about it when we were younger. We'd be doing something, he'd have an attack and either have to hit his puffer or just sit and catch his breath for a while if he didn't have it. I'd wait like 5 seconds and be like "You good to go?" Another buddy would be like "He can't fucking breathe, Abe. Give him a second." and I'd be like "Oh, is Tubby out of breath again?" I don't know how I ever had friends or why anyone liked me lol. If he didn't have his puffer I'd lecture him and be like "You're gonna die in the woods one of these times if you keep forgetting that fucking puffer. Get your shit together." While he was wheezing like he was gonna die. That couldn't have been very helpful.

I used to see people hitting an inhaler as one of the most hilariously pathetic actions ever. The whole thing, the way they pull it out all red-faced, give it a shake and puff it. The sound it makes. It all made me laugh because I just couldn't fathom losing my breath if I wasn't really exerting myself. Now that I've been smoking for like 20 years and I'm beginning to lose my endless stamina, being out of breath is like the worst feeling ever. My dad has diabetes and I always used to think that was hilarious and no big deal either and didn't understand why he didn't like it when I made fun of it. It's pretty much crippled him at this point.

I've spent a lot of my life being a pretty shitty person and never immediately realized it. I've lived my life to intimidate and laugh at people. Not ALL the time though. I'm also a sensitive bitch towards certain people and I do feel like I'm ultimately a good person, but in hindsight I just didn't notice when I was being a mean prick because I just expected everyone to be tough.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I had a younger cousin who pre-deceased me and even though he wasn't invested in internet autism like I am and didn't know any of the internet figures I fixate on (which is more an indictment on my character than anything) I look at certain people and think "Come on you couldn't have outlived him?"

My cousin got his fucking head ripped off on a snowmobile lol.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

Yeah, maybe he shoulda been watching Degrassi with the literal bug chaser gay characters with AIDS, and they're sympathetic characters. ON A KID'S SHOW!

That's what I'm saying

 

[ミスタースパーコル]

My cousin got his fucking head ripped off on a snowmobile lol.

Mine was driving like 100 miles an hour and he hit something and went flying out the windshield because he wasn't wearing a belt and his car ran him over.
My mother was relieved that he didn't take anybody out with him. I was... a little disappointed.

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

My suicidal thoughts are mostly silly, like rigging a piano to drop on my head or running off a cliff and not falling until I look down.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Mine was driving like 100 miles an hour and he hit something and went flying out the windshield because he wasn't wearing a belt and his car ran him over.
My mother was relieved that he didn't take anybody out with him. I was... a little disappointed.

My mom's one brother got ejected from a car like that when he was 16. She was like 5 at the time and she's said she feels terrible whenever she thinks about what an annoying little shit she was to my grandmother at his funeral. She didn't understand that nobody was going to see him again so she kept bugging her mom and saying she was bored and wanted to wait in the car. I guess she also remembers my grandfather giving her brother who was a year older than her the Dewey Cox "THE WRONG KID DIED!" He ended up gay.

 

[ミスタースパーコル]

My suicidal thoughts are mostly silly, like rigging a piano to drop on my head or running off a cliff and not falling until I look down.

We'd all kill ourselves if we couldn't catch that fucking roadrunner.

 

[WorId Wide Web Wyyzrd]

My one buddy had athsma attacks all the time and I was a real prick about it when we were younger. We'd be doing something, he'd have an attack and either have to hit his puffer or just sit and catch his breath for a while if he didn't have it. I'd wait like 5 seconds and be like "You good to go?" Another buddy would be like "He can't fucking breathe, Abe. Give him a second." and I'd be like "Oh, is Tubby out of breath again?" I don't know how I ever had friends or why anyone liked me lol. If he didn't have his puffer I'd lecture him and be like "You're gonna die in the woods one of these times if you keep forgetting that fucking puffer. Get your shit together." While he was wheezing like he was gonna die. That couldn't have been very helpful.

I used to see people hitting an inhaler as one of the most hilariously pathetic actions ever. The whole thing, the way they pull it out all red-faced, give it a shake and puff it. The sound it makes. It all made me laugh because I just couldn't fathom losing my breath if I wasn't really exerting myself. Now that I've been smoking for like 20 years and I'm beginning to lose my endless stamina, being out of breath is like the worst feeling ever. My dad has diabetes and I always used to think that was hilarious and no big deal either and didn't understand why he didn't like it when I made fun of it. It's pretty much crippled him at this point.

I've spent a lot of my life being a pretty shitty person and never immediately realized it. I've lived my life to intimidate and laugh at people. Not ALL the time though. I'm also a sensitive bitch towards certain people and I do feel like I'm ultimately a good person, but in hindsight I just didn't notice when I was being a mean prick because I just expected everyone to be tough.

your a real cocksucker abe

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

My cousin got his fucking head ripped off on a snowmobile lol.

I apparently had a younger cousin that i went to school with that i never met as far as i know that got pulled into a thresher and mutilated to death on my mom's side. My mom called me at work around 2016 crying about this kid and i had to tell her i didn't know which hillbilly she was talking about

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

your a real cocksucker abe

I don't know how to repent. Should I just hang out leaning on the fence of a school playground until I see some fat kid have an athsma attack and be like "HEY! YOU'RE DOING GREAT! TAKE YOUR TIME! YOU PROBABLY WON'T DIE!" and give them a big thumbs up?

 

[Nigger John]

Yea the Jews ruined me

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I apparently had a younger cousin that i went to school with that i never met as far as i know that got pulled into a thresher and mutilated to death on my mom's side. My mom called me at work around 2016 crying about this kid and i had to tell her i didn't know which hillbilly she was talking about

What the fuck is with that shit? Having cousins you went to school with that you don't even know? I remember some weird idiot girl coming up to me in grade 5 and being like "We're cousins." I was like "Bitch, I have like 6 cousins." WRONG. I have like a billion cousins and I wouldn't recognize most of them if I saw them.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Yea the Jews ruined me

I think you're a pretty swell (swole) guy, Nigger Jim. Did you ever consider that perhaps the Jews improved you?

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

What the fuck is with that shit? Having cousins you went to school with that you don't even know? I remember some weird idiot girl coming up to me in grade 5 and being like "We're cousins." I was like "Bitch, I have like 6 cousins." WRONG. I have like a billion cousins and I wouldn't recognize most of them if I saw them.

I'm assuming we grew up in similar rural situations. I'm related to everyone to some degree in my hometown/county. Even my first HS girlfriend was related to me by marriage (not a problem, knowhuddamean )

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

What the fuck is with that shit? Having cousins you went to school with that you don't even know? I remember some weird idiot girl coming up to me in grade 5 and being like "We're cousins." I was like "Bitch, I have like 6 cousins." WRONG. I have like a billion cousins and I wouldn't recognize most of them if I saw them.

We're both Hillwilliams. We're like

Ivory and ivoreeee, working together in perfect harmony
We have the exact same lives, because we're both white hillbilliiiiieeeeess

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I'm assuming we grew up in similar rural situations. I'm related to everyone to some degree in my hometown/county. Even my first HS girlfriend was related to me by marriage (not a problem, knowhuddamean )

I've probably had sex with several of my distant cousins. As long as I don't know for sure, I don't care.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

I've probably had sex with several of my distant cousins. As long as I don't know for sure, I don't care.

No comment

 

[ミスタースパーコル]

What the fuck is with that shit? Having cousins you went to school with that you don't even know? I remember some weird idiot girl coming up to me in grade 5 and being like "We're cousins." I was like "Bitch, I have like 6 cousins." WRONG. I have like a billion cousins and I wouldn't recognize most of them if I saw them.

I have a half brother who I've never met and my father refuses to acknowledge. It's possible I have cousins from the one sibling of my father's who I've also never met. I have no leads on figuring out of that's true or not. I never even considered it until now.

I've probably had sex with several of my distant cousins. As long as I don't know for sure, I don't care.

There's no risk of incest babies if your cousins are guys.

 

[Not bad]

it comes and goes
it's REALLY heavy around spring/summer

but talking about doing it is bullshit because that's all it is- talk

I went to a suicide prevention course at work (for real). They said suicide rates are higher during spring/summer than fall/winter, and that suicides went down during the pandemic. It probably has something to do with the enhanced contrast between being out socializing in the sun and shitposting on a forum dedicated to a dead radio show.

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

luckily the amount of suicide I have committed has been thus far inconsequential

then I did some maths & concluded that I won the lottery to even be here, & things are pretty damn sweet... I'll always be a mildly troubled guy but without the lows I couldn't appreciate the highs so much (even the natural ones)

I've always got the suicide card in my back pocket, but I think we're all gonna be fine. Just don't try to abide by others' expectations.
I don't wanna sound like a redditard, but you do you... & enjoy it!