My favorite Pat lie

[Ladynyahh]

Any time he has claimed he isn’t fat. The most blatant and obvious lie.

Haven't gained a pound since college, child.

 

[Ladynyahh]

too many to pick a favorite but one that made me lawf recently was him telling Strictly Stalking that he responds to troll emails with photos of his erect penis and gun. The hosts pretending it was cool is great.

Yes the infamous "rage erection". Totally normal to get a hard on when you're extremely angry

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I went to the gym today to run a few miles, as I do a few times a week in the winter. Between miles, I sometimes hop on a row machine for a few minutes just to change muscle groups.

While I was rowing, a lady was on a stairmaster next to me. I don’t know her, but I’ve been seeing her come in since the beginning of the year. So a resolutioner who survived the first three weeks. Good on her. Now, there’s no way to beat around it, this is a large lady, well into obese territory from a medical standpoint. But she’s on this stairmaster just fucking crushing it. Probably 75-80 stairs a minute, for a good 15 minutes by the time I sit down to row, which is more than I can do at the moment.

And wouldn’t you know, some fucking brototype just has to walk by and say something shitty about her weight to me. She’s got earbuds in, but the look on her face tells me she heard.

Now, I’ve been going to the gym regularly for four and a half years, and at my gym, you almost never hear shit like this. And there’s a good reason for that, it’s rude, cruel, and entirely counter-productive.

So I got up from my machine and told him, “Wait right there.” Then I went and grabbed two 60lb dumbells off the free weight rack and handed them to him.

“What are these for?” The brotosaurus asked.

“For you, while you do stairs for…” I glanced at her display, “15 minutes.”

“What? I can’t do stairs with that much extra weight,” he said.

“Really? Because she can. So until you’re as tough as she is, maybe keep your mouth shut,” I said.

Because I’m sorry, but that shit isn’t going to fly around me. I have my issues with the body positivity movement and its tactic acceptance of unhealthy lifestyles, but this is someone who has made a commitment to changing her circumstances and is putting in the REALLY hard work necessary.

The dead last thing anyone in her situation needs, or deserves, is some little brohemian asshole who can’t relate to what she’s going through making snide remarks while she’s actively engaging in making a positive change. She has earned encouragement from other people making the same strides. And if that’s too hard, then the least she deserves is his silence.

End gym rant.

https://archive.is/cqgwd

This is especially great because if it were true, Pat would've been the one singling that woman out and making her feel terrible.

 

[Kurt_Love]

I went to the gym today to run a few miles, as I do a few times a week in the winter. Between miles, I sometimes hop on a row machine for a few minutes just to change muscle groups.

While I was rowing, a lady was on a stairmaster next to me. I don’t know her, but I’ve been seeing her come in since the beginning of the year. So a resolutioner who survived the first three weeks. Good on her. Now, there’s no way to beat around it, this is a large lady, well into obese territory from a medical standpoint. But she’s on this stairmaster just fucking crushing it. Probably 75-80 stairs a minute, for a good 15 minutes by the time I sit down to row, which is more than I can do at the moment.

And wouldn’t you know, some fucking brototype just has to walk by and say something shitty about her weight to me. She’s got earbuds in, but the look on her face tells me she heard.

Now, I’ve been going to the gym regularly for four and a half years, and at my gym, you almost never hear shit like this. And there’s a good reason for that, it’s rude, cruel, and entirely counter-productive.

So I got up from my machine and told him, “Wait right there.” Then I went and grabbed two 60lb dumbells off the free weight rack and handed them to him.

“What are these for?” The brotosaurus asked.

“For you, while you do stairs for…” I glanced at her display, “15 minutes.”

“What? I can’t do stairs with that much extra weight,” he said.

“Really? Because she can. So until you’re as tough as she is, maybe keep your mouth shut,” I said.

Because I’m sorry, but that shit isn’t going to fly around me. I have my issues with the body positivity movement and its tactic acceptance of unhealthy lifestyles, but this is someone who has made a commitment to changing her circumstances and is putting in the REALLY hard work necessary.

The dead last thing anyone in her situation needs, or deserves, is some little brohemian asshole who can’t relate to what she’s going through making snide remarks while she’s actively engaging in making a positive change. She has earned encouragement from other people making the same strides. And if that’s too hard, then the least she deserves is his silence.

End gym rant.

https://archive.is/cqgwd

Hearing Cryptic Chronicles AI read this and these other lies for an hour in the Lolcow Addicted to Lying video is gonna decimate my ribs.

 

[stealthygeek]

I have my issues with the body positivity movement and its tactic acceptance of unhealthy lifestyles

Not a typo. He's. Just. Stupid.

 

[Guff]

The kife fight fantasies are so ridiculous I almost can’t count them.

I’ve always found the “Holding a pistol with a rage erection” to be such an annoying lie. Annoying because it’s obviously something he thought would be funny whilst drooling in to his meatloaf at Hoolie’s. It’s a garbage joke. He’s most like impotent too.

 

[MasterPosHonor]

I bench 250, child, and I need the heavy weights at the gym. Behold my massive arms and shoulders as you enjoy prison.

 

[chewtoycock]

I bench 250, child, and I need the heavy weights at the gym. Behold my massive arms and shoulders as you enjoy prison.

It's like his head is gaining fat/fluuuueeeeds too quickly and part of his face is still clinging to his skull for dear life. Another 50 lbs and he'll have a #canyon on his hairline there on the side.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

It's like his head is gaining fat/fluuuueeeeds too quickly and part of his face is still clinging to his skull for dear life. Another 50 lbs and he'll have a #canyon on his hairline there on the side.

His head blowing up like that so fast has to be some kind of medical issue. I’ve never seen someone’s head grow like that in only a few years.

 

[guest]

There's no such thing as a knife fight. There are stabbings. Real life isn't Rebel Without A Cause or a Steven Seagal movie.

My favorite Pat lie is probably him telling the internet that his wife, who left him while pregnant with his child, was lying to herself when she told him she had never loved him. "Cope" doesn't begin to cover it.

 

[Rick Roblinson]

I remember my ribs being honey glazed this one time when Fatso said on Twitter "I never lie." and someone just replied "That's a lie."

 

[Ants Hard Drive of Horror]

"I've met my daughter many times."

You can only really meet someone once, and its such a formal way of referencing your child. Imagine a mother saying "I've met my daughter". It doesn't make any sense, but it's perfectly accidentally honest for an autistic. Just like how Pat can text/tweet the same stlaker child every day for years and never gain any affection for them.

It's also a symptom of Grandiose Pat, who is much better than you are in every way. Since the stlaker had assumed "you've never met your daughter", Pat knew that saying "Yes I have" wasnt impressive enough. He had to explain that he is, in fact, the master of meeting his daughter.

"I've driven in a Cadillac hundreds of times, stlaker. Thousands even."

 

[866-Ron-0-Fez]

'Their publicly stated goal.'

He's retired some of his werider lies over time. Sometimes he replaces them with different lies. His high school grades not being his until they were, for example.

He's held onto and cherished this horseshit for years now. He cares more about this lie than his own daughter.

 

[Sue Lightning]

The lies about his entire family are honestly the strangest. Lying about yourself and experiences you had? Fine. That at least makes you look cooler or more knowledgable depending on the lie. Lying about your fathers work history is some legitimate “My dad works at Nintendo” child shit. No one, not even literal kids, are impressed by your DADS record. What about YOUR record, you fucking loser?

Oh right. Because he has no record. Its hard to try to debate issues if you’re a fucking deadbeat retard. If someone gets into a spat with him about small businesses he breaks out these lies about owning one (his book selling shlock) and how much taxes he pays (grossly overinflated). Now obviously this is in and of itself a fallacy. Experience in something does not mean you have knowledge in it. But Rick ALSO has no knowledge on anything, which is why 99% of his arguments result in some personal anecdote as to why he’s right and so much smarter. Because he can’t explain with his own fucking logic and fat head why he thinks something is correct.

FUCK!

 

[guest]

'Their publicly stated goal.'

He's retired some of his werider lies over time. Sometimes he replaces them with different lies. His high school grades not being his until they were, for example.

He's held onto and cherished this horseshit for years now. He cares more about this lie than his own daughter.

Correct me if I'm wrong but I think BDA texted something to this effect prior to the failed restraining order. My understanding is he wasn't even a member of the club when he said this so I'm not sure where the "they" would be coming from, nor the "publicly" part.

 

[NigelCumia]

View attachment 187722

What does the motorcycle jacket have to do with anything? It restrict your movement and gas you wearing it? Is the implication hes tough because he drives a motorcycle? Or was it armor for his second, better, knife fight?

 

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

Just anything about what an intimidating bar fighting badass he is. Because it's so obviously not true to anyone who's been around people who can fight. I doubt he even knows how to throw a punch. It makes me want to see him get knocked out, which would probably do him some good.

Also people don't really get in bar fights without getting arrested for it or at least banned from bars. That is noT something thaT occurs.

 

[guest]

What does the motorcycle jacket have to do with anything? It restrict your movement and gas you wearing it? Is the implication hes tough because he drives a motorcycle? Or was it armor for his second, better, knife fight?

Some have these plastic plates inside that protect you from road rash, and presumably punches. I have a minimal, super-dope looking one... that I naturally was not wearing the one time I laid a bike down a few years back. I was also wearing shorts. Yes, I'm retarded.

 

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

I bench 250, child, and I need the heavy weights at the gym. Behold my massive arms and shoulders as you enjoy prison.

Lol, yoked Pat just taking a break between bench press sets

 

[EraGodless]

The hypocrisy is the worst part.