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I’m constantly disappointed in my kid and just want to give up.

Brooke Shields

Patrick Tomlinson hates me because I am a woman
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72,884
you can do it harry



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Camel Clutch

Brotherman
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930
sounds like you need to put some effort into planning physical activities that he might actually enjoy. don't force him into learning a second language or playing an instrument if he isn't into it. you don't want to come across as drill sergeant because he will just resent you and not want to do anything.
 

Dennyislife

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21,702
I did a camping thing literally a mile away from our village once. A few of my friends got "homesick" we would have been around 9 or 10 I reckon. I laughed at them.

I run past the camp site all the time and it makes me laugh that we truly thought we were miles away from civilization
 
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guest

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If he's under the age of 13-14 I'd say take it a bit easier on him. Of course you should instil some discipline in him but you want to make him look forward to seeing you/coming over. Maybe the running and practicing an instrument and learning a second language is a bit much. Give him some options and see which one he gravitates to. Show him how to eat healthy but take him for a burger sometimes.

I've got 2 boys under the age of 10 and they're quite different personalities. The younger one wanted to quit karate during one class because he was tired after school. There was half an hour left and he started crying and saying he wanted to go home. The exact same thing had happened a couple of weeks before with some other kid and his dad had blown up at him. They left and didn't come back. And getting angry with him was my first instinct. But I pushed it down and took him to one side and gently told him to finish the class and if he didn't want to come back after that, he didn't have to. He sucked it up and finished. Afterwards, I told him I was really proud of him (I was) and asked him if he was glad he'd finished the lesson. He said he was and I repeated that I was proud of him that he'd seen it through. The next week he was eager to go.

Now I'm not suggesting that you blew up at your kid over camp or anything else. And I know I'm no saint and certainly have lost my shit over other things. And that karate class thing was definitely no planned strategy on my part but it was a good lesson for me that going against my natural urge of yelling at him and calling him a pussy worked out (he was 6 at the time.) Sometimes quiet works better. And every boy wants to impress his dad. Giving sincere praise and encouragement is gold.
Always the voice of reason. The stoic thought out assessments and stiff upper lip thing, you genius limey. You are always on point with stuff like this. Also it took me reading your post to realize Harry must be a gook, "Maybe the running and practicing an instrument and learning a second language is a bit much" sounds like those gook parents that lose their shit over an A minus. Is Harry a bug person? What's your take, McGowan?
 
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Guest

Guest
If he's under the age of 13-14 I'd say take it a bit easier on him. Of course you should instil some discipline in him but you want to make him look forward to seeing you/coming over. Maybe the running and practicing an instrument and learning a second language is a bit much. Give him some options and see which one he gravitates to. Show him how to eat healthy but take him for a burger sometimes.

I've got 2 boys under the age of 10 and they're quite different personalities. The younger one wanted to quit karate during one class because he was tired after school. There was half an hour left and he started crying and saying he wanted to go home. The exact same thing had happened a couple of weeks before with some other kid and his dad had blown up at him. They left and didn't come back. And getting angry with him was my first instinct. But I pushed it down and took him to one side and gently told him to finish the class and if he didn't want to come back after that, he didn't have to. He sucked it up and finished. Afterwards, I told him I was really proud of him (I was) and asked him if he was glad he'd finished the lesson. He said he was and I repeated that I was proud of him that he'd seen it through. The next week he was eager to go.

Now I'm not suggesting that you blew up at your kid over camp or anything else. And I know I'm no saint and certainly have lost my shit over other things. And that karate class thing was definitely no planned strategy on my part but it was a good lesson for me that going against my natural urge of yelling at him and calling him a pussy worked out (he was 6 at the time.) Sometimes quiet works better. And every boy wants to impress his dad. Giving sincere praise and encouragement is gold.


Pretty good advice. I think you and Boomia are both correct, maybe I’ve overloaded the little dudes schedule. He’s 10 and I think I expect him to behave like a man most of the time. Not be macho or tough, but have grit and commitment and goals and all these attributes that probably take time to develop. I need to quit throwing him in the deep end of the pool and expecting him to swim.
 
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guest

Guest
Always the voice of reason. The stoic thought out assessments and stiff upper lip thing, you genius limey. You are always on point with stuff like this. Also it took me reading your post to realize Harry must be a gook, "Maybe the running and practicing an instrument and learning a second language is a bit much" sounds like those gook parents that lose their shit over an A minus. Is Harry a bug person? What's your take, McGowan?
If I'm answering seriously can't say I've thought about it much although I assume anyone called Harry, or who chooses to call themselves Harry, is white. And I just learned that Harry Kilmer is the name of Mitchum's character in the Yakuza. So there's definitely a slope connection there. Hally Kirmer, what's the score? Can you eat a peach through a tennis racket?
 

johnnynoname

I have a face like a shovel
Forum Clout
21,927
from my understanding "King of the Hill" is not a documentary.

However I feel that the relationship that Hank and Bobby have would be the best model for what OP is going through.

I wish OP all the best


I just realized that I didn't have to post the above because it adds zero to the conversation....the sad thing is the above was an Earnest answer
 
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guest

Guest
Always the voice of reason. The stoic thought out assessments and stiff upper lip thing, you genius limey. You are always on point with stuff like this. Also it took me reading your post to realize Harry must be a gook, "Maybe the running and practicing an instrument and learning a second language is a bit much" sounds like those gook parents that lose their shit over an A minus. Is Harry a bug person? What's your take, McGowan?
What's funny is that about an hour and a half after reading this I yelled at my 4 year old daughter for leaving her dollies on the floor and made her cry, just in case you were thinking I was some perpetually composed and unflappable English gent.
 
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