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I hope Jake Paul accidentally kills Mike Tyson tonight

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

Hey, Santa: I rape trespassers
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I know this isn't on the same level but remember when Pacqiao and Mayweather finally fought and it FUCKING SUCKED?
I think that was the only PPV I ever paid for. I wasn't crazy disappointed. The next day the old Indian guy at the convenience store across the street held up a bunch of people talking to me about it.
 

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

Hey, Santa: I rape trespassers
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I'm the Uncle Kracker in a Kid Rock tribute band.


There's so much awesome shit about this video. You can hear that Kid Cocky's dentures don't fit right and his Kid Rock hats are just backwards dollar store fedoras. He fucking rules.

The one broad gets to be Sheryl Crow for one song and then she has to put the Hoochie hat back on.

Edit: the Sheryl Crow gets to also play an additional Sheryl Crow song that does not feature Kid Cocky.
 
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BonnieMcFarlaneMe2

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Clerk at the gas station told me that Jake Paul called Tyson’s daughter a “nigger” in front of him. That can’t be real, right?
Edit: also the clerk repeated “nigger” like 3 times and it wasn’t just the two of us in there. He also said something about Matt Gaetz and I had to say I have no idea who that is.
 
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Lamont & Tonelli

Brevity is... wit.
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I worked a small promotion MMA fight a few months ago and the main event was hilarious. Bantamweight title fight, 5'4" Mexican vs 5'2" Filipino, about 180 total pounds combined, neither had enough mass to do any real damage to the other, lots of angry hugging and I'm pretty sure I saw some teabagging.
I hope Tyson accidentally rapes whichever Paul brother it is right there in the ring. Stupid first-name-for-a-last name-having faggots. When Mike gets arrested, he can say "Okay, okay. Thith time I did it, ya got me fair and thquare!"
 
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