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I'm growing exhausted with work. I think some mindless shit at a loading dock would be better. Reports, meetings, all this shit is just not fucking worth it.
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Oh man those are some of the best pornos.
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Don't brag, but mention in passing that you're a dedicated criminal cyberstalker with a litany of felonies,
it will show your disciplined and have a happy-go-lucky attitude.
Also, don't go sober. they'll agree that drunk torquie kinda rules
it will show your disciplined and have a happy-go-lucky attitude.
Also, don't go sober. they'll agree that drunk torquie kinda rules
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What do you think the chances are that @Torquie isnt a social retard? And I say that with all due respect as his 18th favorite poster.
Impress them with saying you can "child" someone fifty times a minute on Twitter
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the users that post here are likely in the top 5% (95th percentile) of the population in terms of emotional/social intelligence.
your entire identity here rests on the fact that you understand social cues, and hold your tongue if you're naht funnay.
otherwise, you receive a scathing retort such as "nice___, stupid", or did ya?
All the actual trucker retards and nana ball lickers and chip aficionados fled, leaving only the highest caliber of shitposters, trolls, and cyberstalkers
I do think torquie has the verbal accumen and acerbic wit to run a room ala christopher hitchens, albeit needing a 3-4 beer buzz.
Mention the sheer number of news articles about you currently in circulation.
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Collectively, we are the funniest people around. This likely comes from spending so much time studying the work of the murrrddderers from the early 00's east coast comedy scene.
Standup comedy today is an abomination. Whenever I'm scrolling Netflix and see some women or minority making a goofy face while they hold a mic for their cover picture...I want to kill myself. ITS NAHHHTTT FUNNNAAAAAY. I get even more annoyed when people I used to consider friends and hilarious people say things to me like "Do you know who Bo Burnham is?!?" No, fuck you. "You should watch Aly Wong on Netflix" Should I?!?! "OMG! This Asian guy does a HILARIOUS impression of his traditional parents!!"
LOL Tomlinson...definitley would tho.
Tell some rape and nigger jokes that will impress the group
What do niggers and apples have in common?
What do niggers and apples have in common?
The way I get jobs is by focusing on all the shit aspects until I don't want it anymore. Like I'm at the interview as a favor to them. Dumb people, which most HR types are, start thinking you're a genius who they don't deserve to hire, because only a mega talent would be that cocky and detached in a job interview, right?
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Show up in black face and say you're a nigger.
If you as a grown man can't even handle light clerical work (women's work) how the fuck do you think you're going to survive just 1 day of manual labor? It's laughable to read office monkeys crying about how "soul crushing" their easy as fuck job is. Stfu and make your money doing your fake work.
Who’s that top bitch?
Or some 22 year old blubbering about how hard it is to get up in the morning and spend eight hours doing something they don't like, or aren't "fulfilled" by. They want fake jobs, like "crypto trader", "van life vlogger", or "influencer", something that gives them gobs of free time and requires no effort. And it's not just young people, either. I know a guy in his late 40s who quit his pretty good job to become a "music teacher", and now he makes a few hundreds bucks a week teaching kids how to play old Judas Priest songs on the guitar. And he's always crowing about "how tough things are out there", while he spends the bulk of his days vaping and diddling around with a guitar. He could have easily done guitar lessons as a side gig, but he just "couldn't handle" his real job, like he's just too special for real work.
Hand tattoos. Poor life decisions and/or some sort of gang affiliation. Possible felon. Pass.
At the same time we also have drug and alcohol-induced manic posting and threads about desiring to commit suicide weekly. So I think there’s more to the average Patposter than a little wit.
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The old sub was absolutely brutal that way. The unfunny and/or retarded were viciously scorned, shunned and mocked. Which was a good thing, as it forced one to either be more funny or shut the fuck up. No one welcomed new users, you had to contribute. And not just once, either. It inspired quick-wittedness, an ability to be funny on the fly, and an ability to understand the bit.