• Recently, onaforums has taken to opening a substack. You can subscribe to this substack to get email notifications when the site is down, gets a new domain name, or is otherwise running into trouble. We are not accepting donations at this time, so please skip the part where it asks if you would like to contribute. Subscribe at onaforums.substack.com

  • Reminder: Do not call, text, or mention harrassing someone in real life. Do not encourage it. Do not talk about killing or using violence against anyone, or engaging in any criminal behavior. If it is not an obvious joke even when taken out of context, don't post it. Please report violators. If you want your account deleted, or have other on-site inquiries, send a private message to @BlackTransLivesMatter or @BlackQueerLivesMatter.

    Do not post IRL pranks here without including the source

    For DMCA, complaints, and other inquiries:

    [email protected]

Fat, unemployed drunk who owes $125k just bought a new King sized bed

TheRevAlJolson

TheRevAlJolson

Blackface Killah
‎
‎
Forum Clout
30,648
guest said:
No single heterosexual man would, you're right. But if you're married, if your wife isn't a cunt muncher and if you make a decent living, she wants the matching Le Creuset pots and pans, the drapes have to match the couches, the dishwasher has to "go with" the marble blah blah blah. It's endless. It's easier just to let them do what they want (within reason - no, we're not having a salmon pink bathroom) and just ask how much it costs.
Click to expand...
Bullshit. I keep my place looking like a model home. Got the Neiman Marcus throw blankets, Alberto Minotti sofas, Resto Hardware lamps - I don't fuck around. Do I give a shit? Not really - but bitches go nuts for it. A baller looking crib will knock the clothes off a hoe for you. Quality bitches can sense that shit.

Then again, my boy puts up serious numbers in a crib that looks a lot like the half hovel, so maybe I'm just being a faggot.
 
HotDogJoe

HotDogJoe

Professional leech since 1994. Anyone can do it.
‎
‎
Forum Clout
80,116
CanISitOnJonsLap said:
Sleeping on the couch was probably hurting poor Rick's back, so he whined and whined and whined some more until mommy-in-law bought a mattress large enough for both of them and made a promise to Niki that he wouldn't touch her.

The fat baby has cried his way into more free shit, yet again.
Click to expand...

That’s exactly what happened and now the bed is way too big for the room. What a depressing life these two hogs lead.
 
G

guest

Guest
Screenshot_20211031-103633_textPlus.jpg
 
NoBacon

NoBacon

Auf der Heide blüht ein kleines Blümelein
‎
‎
Forum Clout
130,658
Ant_It_Fun said:
He's already written some bed jokes for his new standup routine:

“I got a king sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable. Oh, you're a king you say? Well you won't believe what I have in store for you! It's to your exact specifications! ”
Click to expand...
It would be more rancid with more bravado, probably mention how the king probably has free access to his wife’s pussy whenever he wants it like him
 
NoBacon

NoBacon

Auf der Heide blüht ein kleines Blümelein
‎
‎
Forum Clout
130,658
Ant_It_Fun said:
...it's a Mitch Hedberg joke. Because Pat is a joke thief. Get it?
Click to expand...

I don’t really know his jokes, he died when I was like 16 or something. Stand up comedy is terrible and I can’t think of much worse than putting a “special” on and watching some cunt tell jokes on a stage for an hour.

I guess there are some good ones, I don’t know and frankly I don’t want to know
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top