Fat, unemployed drunk who owes $125k just bought a new King sized bed

[Brooke Shields]

Those two pieces of wood resting in the sill are to prop the windows open with the warm weather

pretty sure those are the "things" Patrick is "into"

 

[FurBurger]

I love whenever he posts pics of his living space because it gives you pests a chance to dissect his life living in poverty

No bedside tables; I guess their phones just sit on the floor.

 

[CanISitOnJonsLap]

He sleeps on the couch so he’s not touching his wife at all. Why did he word it that way?

Sleeping on the couch was probably hurting poor Rick's back, so he whined and whined and whined some more until mommy-in-law bought a mattress large enough for both of them and made a promise to Niki that he wouldn't touch her.

The fat baby has cried his way into more free shit, yet again.

 

[Carol's Stink Blaster]

The decor is atrocious. Everything about this house looks like that first rental place you live in after you move out of your parents house in your early 20s and live in a group house with some friends.

1. random mismatched furniture, curtains, bedspread, rugs etc that you get from hand me downs, Craigslist, yard sales or the thrift store

2. shittily thrown together outdoor area where you can grill hotdogs and sit in plastic chairs drinking your natty light

3. terrible paint and other obvious DIY repairs either because you broke shit and tried to fix it yourself so you don’t lose your security deposit or because you have a cheap landlord who won’t hire people to fix things

4. obviously out of date electrical, old mismatched appliances, Formica countertops, etc

Problem is he's the cheap landlord

 

[Carol's Stink Blaster]

No bedside tables; I guess their phones just sit on the floor.

They sit on his massive, square, pecks, child

 

[guest]

The decor is atrocious. Everything about this house looks like that first rental place you live in after you move out of your parents house in your early 20s and live in a group house with some friends.

1. random mismatched furniture, curtains, bedspread, rugs etc that you get from hand me downs, Craigslist, yard sales or the thrift store

2. shittily thrown together outdoor area where you can grill hotdogs and sit in plastic chairs drinking your natty light

3. terrible paint and other obvious DIY repairs either because you broke shit and tried to fix it yourself so you don’t lose your security deposit or because you have a cheap landlord who won’t hire people to fix things

4. obviously out of date electrical, old mismatched appliances, Formica countertops, etc

My oldest son is in college and no joke the place he's renting basically sounds like the above. It's not a nice place but for 4 college guys, it's beyond adequate. It's also light years nicer than what I've seen of the hovel and that's even in the current state (being lived in by 4 guys).

 

[potatopeeler63]

I get your other points but who the fuck would waste money on matching appliances? If that pressure cooker from college still works then who gives a shit if it matches the toaster? A man wouldn't.

A six figure author with enough disposable income and a trophy wife that isn’t a lesbian,
Would in fact be haggled enough by said trophy wife to get matching appliances so she wont be embarrassed when company comes over.

of course none of this applies to Fatrick,
Who is broke midwestern trash married to a dyke

 

[guest]

Jesus Christ is that the door on the right? What a tiny shithole. Don't trip over on the bed on your way in!

 

[Gay Faggot.]

I don’t think he can afford his court bills, fellas. It’s almost like he’s been given free money, his entire life. Fat faggot. I look forward to quaso going after you.

 

[guest]

I get your other points but who the fuck would waste money on matching appliances? If that pressure cooker from college still works then who gives a shit if it matches the toaster? A man wouldn't.

No single heterosexual man would, you're right. But if you're married, if your wife isn't a cunt muncher and if you make a decent living, she wants the matching Le Creuset pots and pans, the drapes have to match the couches, the dishwasher has to "go with" the marble blah blah blah. It's endless. It's easier just to let them do what they want (within reason - no, we're not having a salmon pink bathroom) and just ask how much it costs.

 

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]

That’s the master bedroom? Embarrassing

The term is Splendid Opulence its how all six figure authors live

 

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]

They’re little souvenir baseball bats like you would buy for your 8 year old at a game, if you didn’t abandon them.

Pat sticks one down his dickhole and other up the ass and tries to get them to touch

 

[Snake]

What kind of adults don't have matching pillow cases?

Drinky prefers a nigger fart charcoal, child.

 

[fricklefrackle]

At least Pig moved the ol' spackle bucket out of frame.

 

[guest]

No single heterosexual man would, you're right. But if you're married, if your wife isn't a cunt muncher and if you make a decent living, she wants the matching Le Creuset pots and pans, the drapes have to match the couches, the dishwasher has to "go with" the marble blah blah blah. It's endless. It's easier just to let them do what they want (within reason - no, we're not having a salmon pink bathroom) and just ask how much it costs.

All true but I was referring to the big appliances like the fridge, stove and dishwasher which, if you aren’t a nigger or 22 years old, typically match or aren’t from the 70s/80s

 

[guest]

They've spent more money the past 6 months then they have in the last 6 years....Wonder why that is....

 

[wbgreen]

He'd have gotten a California King, but it never fit in the room.

 

[Will Tate]

The use of the word "wifey" should be punishable by a professional baseball player swinging a bat into your spine.

 

[Nick Gerlips]

Do you think pig spent the extra on a tempurpedic? I have one and it's great

 

[Carol's Stink Blaster]

Nice job having the bed block the door stupid

The door is not blocked, because they are pocket doors, child.