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Dipshit Feeling Important

Toothless Enthusiast

Killed by Patrick!
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35,362

This looks to be the brunch spot at Downer Ave.

To the surprise of nobody, there are only four "healthy choice" options available for Milwaukeeans: yogurt, two bowls of oatmeal, and avocado toast. Far more "treat yourself" options, like Oreo Pancakes, Very Berry French Toast, and the Bangin' Breakfast Burger: 7oz. beef patty, grilled jalapenos, fried egg, applewood-smoked bacon, American cheese, pepper jack cheese, and chipotle sauce on a toasted brioche bun.

Just the thing to hold me over in between breakfast and lunch.
I'm shocked he didn't go to that Mexican place for corn and Niki's daily liter of vodka.

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TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

The Backbone of America
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117,059
Spending a lot of time with Niki outside lately. I guess the Airbnb guests don't want the fat guy hanging around.

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Their "trash talk game" is probably hilariously shitty, btw. A 12 year old Canadian hockey player could probably make them both attempt suicide with one sentence and their parents would reward them for it.
 

fusciasomething

Jacques De Gautier
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23,076
It's kind of amazing that he admits to being bad at something.

Also, that's probably literally the first sport he's ever attempted to play. I also suck at tennis and I'm actually athletic. Good luck, Pat.
I can't wait for his expert opinions on one vs two handed backhand and point construction on clay vs hard court. Those will also be hilariously ad just like all of his sports takes
 

Jenna

very demure very cutesy very mindful very modest
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64,722
My God, a rare instance of self-deprecation from Pig. Of course it's related to a fairly niche sport that has the perception of being for rich people. He'd never say that about something he associates with masculinity, like martial arts or lifting weights (which he's also obviously awful at.)

Narcissists are okay with self-deprecation as long as they're in control of it. Usually it's something inconsequential like this, and there's always a self-compliment hidden in there (our trash talk game will be elite!)

If the usual twitter accounts starting teasing him about it, it'd be "I am better than you at tennis in every conceivable way, stlaker. Enjoy prison." within 15 seconds.
 

DeadWithoutMyDavid

xe/xim/xey
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39,978
Yeah who wouldn't want to live in a nigger infested inner city hell hole? I'll gladly take the Letterkenny-esque rural bullshit, instead. I'm a 10 minute drive from the closest "town" which is just a roundabout and a dive bar. The last big caper the local pigs had to solve around here is who the fuck keeps poaching strawberries from the farm down the road. No faggot neighbors, no pride flags, and no fucking niggers blasting music on "dey sale foams" around every corner.
Haha last time I lived rural all the neighbors had either those Don't Tread on Me flags or the black-striped US flag. Nice people though.
 
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