Yeah, that's why it's taking so long.

[CompoundBasement]

Sounds like a lie. Intrigued? Then why are you taking your sweet time to write it?
View attachment 126506

His agent will say whatever it takes to get him off the phone and out of his inbox.

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

His agent will say whatever it takes to get him off the phone and out of his inbox.

Guarantee Pat never had his agent’s cell number, just a switchboard landline for the Russell Galen agency. He’s a nobody and always has been.

 

[chewtoyrapist]

"Learn as I go"
Isn't the first rule of writing to write what you know? Then again he'd never write if he stuck to that lil tidbit of wisdom. If you're getting bogged down googling shit every paragraph while writing something with a simple (retarded) concept as well as established characters and a setting that readers don't need spoonfed to them to envision then maybe it's a shit idea.

Run on the sentence some more, stupid.

 

[NoBacon]

Nobody is intrigued by your shit book and it’s stupid gay premise, Patrick. We’ve seen your turgid book scan numbers and you’re not getting anywhere with this unimaginative trite piece of shit on spec.

Scrooge was shown his own death and it was the next Christmas. How the fuck is he still alive for an adult Tiny Tim to avenge him? Why would he even be that upset he’s dead when he’s unnaturally and impossibly old anyway? Why would he care enough about him to go on this murderous rampage if he was left to become a violent hardened criminal by him?

Your book makes no sense at all. Why don’t you try having a real job and providing for your daughter for once instead of spitting on Charles Dicken’s grave? Nobody is going to read it anyway I suppose.

 

[MasterPosHonor]

Nobody is intrigued by your shit book and it’s stupid gay premise, Patrick. We’ve seen your turgid book scan numbers and you’re not getting anywhere with this unimaginative trite piece of shit on spec.

Scrooge was shown his own death and it was the next Christmas. How the fuck is he still alive for an adult Tiny Tim to avenge him? Why would he even be that upset he’s dead when he’s unnaturally and impossibly old anyway? Why would he care enough about him to go on this murderous rampage if he was left to become a violent hardened criminal by him?

Your book makes no sense at all. Why don’t you try having a real job and providing for your daughter for once instead of spitting on Charles Dicken’s grave? Nobody is going to read it anyway I suppose.

From the samples we've seen, it looks like some stupid adolescent male power fantasy fan fiction. Tiny Tim has a sword hidden in his cane like Zatoichi and gets into big action movie fights. Tell us more about all your research, Rick.

 

[Udders]

"My agent is intrigued" vs "My agent thinks it's a great idea". I think he meant it as a brag, but it's clear his agent is skeptical about the idea.

If his agent actually did like the idea, he would need to go to a hospital immediately for an emergency CAT scan because it is the stupidest idea I've ever heard. It's such a bad idea and I am so happy he's following through with it. He's going to waste like three years writing this thing and no publisher is going to touch it. It's a Creative Writing 101 prompt, and a bad one at that.

A fat, dumb, lazy idiot with no research skills and no degrees of any kind is writing a satirical historical fiction novel that is also a derivative sequel of a public domain literary classic. What's not to love except literally everything about it?

He'll probably do something incredibly smart like finish the Xmas novel in early January.

 

[Ladynyahh]

Sounds like a lie. Intrigued? Then why are you taking your sweet time to write it?
View attachment 126506

That sounds God awful and will fail miserably. Hopefully he gives up writing after this and gets a real job.

 

[kingship75]

Agents don't give a fuck, they want a finished piece to shop around and get their 10%.
Its the publisher who needs to be intrigued. So far they don't appear to be.

His agent got paid on the AR and TOR contracts. Pat hasn't written anything since, doesn't cost anything to keep piggy on the books and he may actually con another publisher into a three book deal.

It’s got to be higher than 10 percent, no?

 

[guest]

My agent is intrigued = My agent is shocked that I would think of writing such garbage but is too afraid to say it’s shit, and is hoping I don’t finish this.

His agent is also a pedo. He pitched it as a Horatio Alger tale. But Dick is even more ragged this time.

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

He'll probably do something incredibly smart like finish the Xmas novel in early January.

He may as well — there’s less than zero chance of him getting it on shelves in time for this year’s holiday season.

 

[WheelchairFred]

Sometimes when someone tells me something shocking or astounding I'll say "get the fuck out of here!", because I can't believe what they just said and I'm amazed. Pat brags that's the kind of "get the fuck out of here" he got from an agent when in reality he was just being shooed away at a con.

 

[866-Ron-0-Fez]

His agent has been gripped with tantalising interest for at least 16 months now. The ol' geezer must be bloomin' knackered.

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

View attachment 126566


His agent has been gripped with tantalising interest for at least 16 months now. The ol' geezer must be bloomin' knackered.

I sure hope nobody asks Pat why the agent is only “intrigued” after he’s already seen five chapters. In the publishing world, that kind of feedback from an agent can only be interpreted one way: Lose my email address, faggot.

 

[MasterPosHonor]

If Pat puts twitter down and completes the "book" before Christmas, it might be possible for it to be published by December next year. Pat? Will you take a break from twitter to work on your Art?

 

[guest]

View attachment 126502
"as I learn as I go" Fucking wordsmith, he is.

Another thing that bugs me is that this cocksucker doesn't seem to get that fantasy is it's own genre within fiction. He's writing historical fiction but he calls it "historical fantasy" because fantasy/sci-fi (intended for YA readers) is all he's ever read.
[URL='https://youtu.be/cIAKceAfhTM?t=365']Sinus fiction.[/URL]

 

[BillyCorgan'sFallenTree]

"Make everything up as I go style." Perhaps plot out your books and think things through. Get the basics down of where are your characters and what are they doing in this chapter and then graduate to what your characters motivations are and how they react to and handle situations. Maybe then we won't have a janitor on a spaceship appearing out of thin air to save the day by killing a robot with a rocket launcher. For those not up to date on their Pat lore, that happened in his last book. Why would there be a rocket launcher so readily available on a spaceship, seems hazardous. And why was the janitor black? Pat you bigot mother fucker.

 

[Meownaw]

"Make everything up as I go style." Perhaps plot out your books and think things through. Get the basics down of where are your characters and what are they doing in this chapter and then graduate to what your characters motivations are and how they react to and handle situations. Maybe then we won't have a janitor on a spaceship appearing out of thin air to save the day by killing a robot with a rocket launcher. For those not up to date on their Pat lore, that happened in his last book. Why would there be a rocket launcher so readily available on a spaceship, seems hazardous. And why was the janitor black? Pat you bigot mother fucker.

I would also add to write the characters so they don't talk like Pat but that would impossible for him. I hope all the characters talk like that one excerpt where it's unreadable with them talking in deep British accents.

 

[BillyCorgan'sFallenTree]

I would also add to write the characters so they don't talk like Pat but that would impossible for him. I hope all the characters talk like that one excerpt where it's unreadable with them talking in deep British accents.

I agree. He should do that, but that is beyond his skill. He really needs to scrap his usual approach and learn to take baby steps. Pat and baby steps, he'll probably do what he does best and just abandon being an author.

 

[Meownaw]

I agree. He should do that, but that is beyond his skill. He really needs to scrap his usual approach and learn to take baby steps. Pat and baby steps, he'll probably do what he does best and just abandon being an author.

He should research how to improve his writing but we all know he knows better than anyone.

 

[Turk February]

Pat admits he puts no thought into the social and cultural implications of emerging technology, nor the impact that would have on characters' growth and development in life. In short - Pat puts no more thought into his "science fiction" than a kid writing an Overwatch creepypasta.