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WWAWD Faggot Fire Ants Stinging the Fuck Outta You When You Accidentally Step On Their Little City

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The Torquis de Lard said:
I got roiped by a pack of hopper ants once, those niggers jumped after me and got in my shoes and bit the fuck out of me. I wish I took a picture of my feet, they were swollen and blotchy red. I poured diesel down their nest and lit the cunt on fire and committed an ant holocaust later on.


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What are some of them other insects you fellas got over there, ever see any of those big ass spiders?
 
Riccardo Bosi

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Weasel said:
What are some of them other insects you fellas got over there, ever see any of those big ass spiders?
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In northern Queensland where the weather's more exotic you get those tarantulas and shit. A regular thing for me is huntsman spiders which are non-toxic and they're big and scary, but they're actually good to have because they fight/eat other little pests and they don't make webs. If I catch one I don't kill it, I take it outside and leave it be.

My grandfather would actually pick them up with his bare, calloused hands and carry them around. Well, he was probably drunk.

Wobelt Mewlel said:
You lie!!!
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*rie
 
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The Torquis de Lard said:
In northern Queensland where the weather's more exotic you get those tarantulas and shit. A regular thing for me is huntsman spiders which are non-toxic and they're big and scary, but they're actually good to have because they fight/eat other little pests and they don't make webs. If I catch one I don't kill it, I take it outside and leave it be.

My grandfather would actually pick them up with his bare, calloused hands and carry them around. Well, he was probably drunk.


*rie
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In my parents' old house they used to get these ants nests in the outer brick wall of the garage every summer.

I went through a phase from about the ages of 9-11 of getting WD-40 and a lighter and, not just burning them, but playing a game where they were an advanced civilisation with infrastructure, language, industry and nightly news programming and I was me, but to them was simply a giant, merciless, fire-spewing monster, lead story on their panicked evening news broadcasts. I particularly enjoyed watching the winged females cook.

I never graduated to small animals and then prostitutes but, in retrospect, it was probably indicative of some form of low-grade psychopathy.
 
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guest said:
In my parents' old house they used to get these ants nests in the outer brick wall of the garage every summer.

I went through a phase from about the ages of 9-11 of getting WD-40 and a lighter and, not just burning them, but playing a game where they were an advanced civilisation with infrastructure, language, industry and nightly news programming and I was me, but to them was simply a giant, merciless, fire-spewing monster, lead story on their panicked evening news broadcasts. I particularly enjoyed watching the winged females cook.

I never graduated to small animals and then prostitutes but, in retrospect, it was probably indicative of some form of low-grade psychopathy.
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Nah that's based. Psychopathy is killing animals minding their own business; I won't kill mice but I've smashed rats with a shovel and kicked some over the fence like a football. There's an instinctive difference between friendly creatures and vermin.
 
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The Torquis de Lard said:
Nah that's based. Psychopathy is killing animals minding their own business; I won't kill mice but I've smashed rats with a shovel and kicked some over the fence like a football. There's an instinctive difference between friendly creatures and vermin.
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My uncle killed his own dog with a hammer in front of me and my sister. Granted, the dog had just bitten my sister on the arm, and near an artery, but it was still fucked. That still seems psycho to me but the guy is the most honest, nice, straight arrow guy you could meet. But he brained his own dog in front of his 12 year old nephew and 9 year old niece. He didn't even seem that angry at the time. People are weird.
 
Riccardo Bosi

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My uncle killed his own dog with a hammer in front of me and my sister. Granted, the dog had just bitten my sister on the arm, and near an artery, but it was still fucked. That still seems psycho to me but the guy is the most honest, nice, straight arrow guy you could meet. But he brained his own dog in front of his 12 year old nephew and 9 year old niece. He didn't even seem that angry at the time. People are weird.
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Yeah that's probably what fucked with your head for years to come. It wasn't burning ants.

I'm no Dr. Melfi but I'm gonna guess that whatever fucked up emotions your uncle had were concealed with alcohol. Not saying he's an alcoholic, but what Englishman doesn't have a break-in-case-of-emergency bottle somewhere, right?
 
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The Torquis de Lard said:
Yeah that's probably what fucked with your head for years to come. It wasn't burning ants.

I'm no Dr. Melfi but I'm gonna guess that whatever fucked up emotions your uncle had were concealed with alcohol. Not saying he's an alcoholic, but what Englishman doesn't have a break-in-case-of-emergency bottle somewhere, right?
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He's not English or an alkie. He was a heavy smoker and had a lot of stress at work and a cunt of a wife but pushed it all down until he had like 5 heart attacks, 2 different cancers and type 2 diabetes. Never fat, always a big smile on his face, outwardly a real gent but a lot of anger and stress just bubbling under the surface. Miraculously he's still alive somehow. He's not even 70 yet but has like 20% heart function. Miracles of modern medicine
 
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He's not English or an alkie. He was a heavy smoker and had a lot of stress at work and a cunt of a wife but pushed it all down until he had like 5 heart attacks, 2 different cancers and type 2 diabetes. Never fat, always a big smile on his face, outwardly a real gent but a lot of anger and stress just bubbling under the surface. Miraculously he's still alive somehow. He's not even 70 yet but has like 20% heart function. Miracles of modern medicine
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Please tell me he's some weird German autist.
 
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