would you buy a retard as a pet if you could?

No, I find retarded people unsettling.
Agreed. They are wildly unpredictable and you cannot reason with them. Some of them are crazy strong and can flip out in an instant. One time my sister was on line in a McDonald’s and there was a tard staring at her. Suddenly it went for her bag and was pulling on it and didn’t let go right away. She pulled back and it let go. I wasn’t there but she told me about it afterwards.

Retards, wild animals are all the same. Stay away and never let them into your home.

The Downies are domesticated but annoying as fuck. Seems like all the supermarkets by me hire them as baggers nowadays.
 

Lamont & Tonelli

Brevity is... wit.
Sounds like a good sitcom premise. A retard crashes into your car. He has no insurance because insurance companies dont cover retards. The judge orders him to be your butler. Hilarity ensues. Everytime the retard does something stupid it cuts to a close up of his hideous face and he says his catchphrase “Oopsie doodles”. Then the canned laugh track kicks in. Its fuckin gold TBPHWY.
I'd watch that. Mr. Belvedere meets Perfect Strangers... IN SPAAAAAACE
 

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

The Backbone of America
I've told the story before, but up until I was like 8, I thought downies were violent psychopaths because one cornered me in the bathroom and bitch slapped me when I was in kindergarten. Then they made him come apologize and hug me, which was equally terrifying. You couldn't pay me to look after a retard.

I'd 100% take a midget though and dress it up like Bam Bam from the Flintstones with the big club.
 
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