Worst hotel you ever stayed in?

[Honeycomb Hideout]

I wont stay at one if i see its owned by chinks or dot indians

 

[Bumley]

Baton Rouge. It was around the time of some flood or another 7-8 years ago. There were no real hotels to stay in. I was there for two weeks for work. Feel like it was a Knights Inn. The bathroom is the standout memory. It was like a factory locker/ bath room. Cinder block with exposed galvanized pipe for electric and industrial type toilet and plumbing. The hotel itself was just rundown and dreary, much like Baton Rouge. Cretins hanging in the parking lot at all hours.

That being said, I like Baton Rouge and southern Louisiana to visit. It has character unlike most of the rest of the southeast.

 

[Hudson Margera-Hughes]

Oh, an employer once put me up for 2 weeks in a hotel in Chungbuk, and there were condoms and the windows just faced a wall. And then I slowly realized "this is a sex hotel" but I didn't really hate it cuz I could smoke.

Your employer really tried to motherfuck you, but you turned sour lemons into lemonade .

 

[Hudson Margera-Hughes]

Holy shit dude I posted about this back when it happened, but I went to the Bama-LSU game in 2022 and I slipped in the shitty bathtub in our Pakistani shithole hotel and fell out and hit my back on the toilet. I cracked three vertebrae and was at Baton Rouge General Hospital from 9am to 4pm zooted on morphine and dilaudid. The gave me a script for morphine and muscle relaxers and we still made it to the game. I was a fucking soldier that day.

The day prior we were dropped off at a dive bar with no windows or cars in the parking lot. We didn't even think it was open. We walk in and there's a Confederate flag behind the bar. My buddy was anxious until I was like, Dude, we could not possibly be in a safer place in this county. Relax.

The bartender brought us Bud Lights without asking what we wanted and offered us Marby Reds. Then she says to the two old geezers down the bar "Whatay'all wanna watch, football?" And this guy goes "I'd rather watch chickens peck chicken shit than watch niggers play football." So she put on an infomercial for speed boats and those two idiots were hootin n hollerin like they were at the circus. It was straight out if Squidbillies. I loved it.

Now, that's a great fawwkin story, bruthaman!

Morphine and Dilaudid is almost worth the cracked vertebrae alone

 

[DoucheChills]

Knights Inn I think is where we stayed

I stayed in that exact hotel about 10 years ago when I was a young, dumb, drunk and brought home bedbugs with me. It was infested then, it probably still is now. You've been warned.

 

[Hudson Margera-Hughes]

I also got to see two Heisman winners in Jalen Daniels and Bryce Young play each other, which I'm pretty sure almost never happens if it ever has at all. The game went to overtime and the place almost collapsed when LSU won.

I was so fucked up on morphine, dilaudid, edibles, and Fireball shots that I don't even remember a fucking thing.

My buddy said I was nodding off on the plane ride home still asking him who was winning.

"I was so fucked up on morphine, dilaudid, edibles, and Fireball shots that I don't even remember a fucking thing."

That's the only way to roll!

I sure hope your buddy didn't tell you that he tried desperately to stop you, but you bet your entire bottle of morphine to the bayou nigger sitting next to you that LSU would lose and you lost it all!

 

[guest]

They put me in the edgar suite

 

[Hudson Margera-Hughes]

I've actually never gambled. Not even a scratch ticket.
I have other vices.

But honestly, the white people down there are just as bad as blacks. They're literally white niggers. It's the shittiest place white people live on earth. I mean that. It's worse than South Africa.

It's undescribably niggerish down there. Baton Rouge makes Memphis look like Vienna in Austria.

Bayou niggers= white niggers.

To add to my Florida story, on the way down we got lost and stopped at some tin shack in the middle of the boonies in Indiana and thank fucking satan there was a couple white farm boys that helped us out with directions to get back on track. I'll never forget the one dude saying, with absolute sincerity, "whatever you do, don't end up in Gary, Indiana! You'll never be seen or heard from again! The cops there don't even stop at red lights or stop signs!" I don't think we got off the highway once after that!

 

[Hudson Margera-Hughes]

My ex in New Mexico grad school got into Purdue for her PhD in West Lafayette. You wanna talk about the middle of butt-fucking nowhere, Indiana?
I still remember that phone call after she first moved, when the tornado sirens started going off and she literally had a panic attack. LOL. Nice place to live, stupid.

But you have to understand that tornado sirens in Indiana go off every night like that. It just means "Don't let the sun set on your black ass, niggers!"

"Sundown towns, also known as sunset towns, gray towns, or sundowner towns." It's a holdover from Jim Crow era.

 

[PogromStallone]

I once spent a week at a small hotel in London, they only had like 4 rooms. It was during the summer so it was boiling hot, you coudn't even close the window. It was actually a really nice place and the lady working there was really kind(gave me a voucher for free breakfasts) but right outside my window they were doing some construction or something so they'd start drilling at 6 in the morning. I went slightly mad every morning.

 

[Farmer Brown]

Circus Circus

In reno

 

[Patrick O'Neal]

I didn't actually stay there but... I was writing a travel article about this ancient Chinese village zhujiacun. I wanted to stay the night in the town, but the tourist officials I was dealing with were like "Nahhh, we got you a room in a nearby town". That room I don't particularly remember because I spent most of the time shitting my insides out after the meal we'd had - literal chunks of fat, silkworm and a goat soup that tasted really funky. I think it had congealed blood in it and that's what did me in. Luckily, I had not gone for a prostitute with the officials as they had suggested. When I'm in the ancient village, I have a look at the accommodation there so I can mention it in my article and there is an absolutely EAR-SPLITTING cockerel call. I've heard a cock crow before but this was something else. Tomlinson rooster DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA A DOODLE DO!! I was suddenly grateful to those whoremongering officials.

I stayed at another really cheap place in xifengkou, where there is a section of the Great Wall that's been submerged in a reservoir. It's actually a pretty nice place if you're in China and want to get away from the tourists. Nice couple and the wife was crazy hot. It was so weird seeing her kneeling in the dusty courtyard washing clothes by hand when she's an absolute smokeshow and in the UK could be married to a millionaire. In the evening I go out to the ol hole in the ground for a piss and there's this horrible dog chained up right next to the dunny. I don't know if you know this, but the Chinese don't treat dogs too well and I don't think he'd been for walkies in quite a while. Meaner than a junkyard dog I'd say by his snarls and just the way he was looking at me. I managed to hold my piss in until the next day. Oh yeah, and when the mum had this enormous Yao Ming-like kid on her lap she was playing with his willy. I wouldn't have minded that treatment to be honest and if I wasn't a gentleman I might have tried my luck. Later on my Chinese girlfriend told me they do that in the countryside. The mama will give her son's jj a little shookuh shookuh to calm him down. Maybe that's why Chinese men are such mummy's boys, idk.

 

[NortheastPhilly]

I stayed at a Motel 6 right next to the Tijuana border. Nothing wrong with the room itself, but I just felt unsafe with the characters that were there.
Same thing with a La Quinta in Austin. Heard domestic violence through my wall, and there was a drunk hooker just hanging out.

 

[Patty's Stubby Fingers]

The majority of the time I have a hotel room, I'm barely in the hotel room except to pass out drunk at night so they've all been pretty good.

So I would say some shitty Hilton in Baltimore, there was a piece of metal on the road that cars would run over and make this plunking sound all night long. Didn't sleep a lick.

 

[eggfella]

didn’t have the guts to stay there but briefly worked the front desk at a shitty rural trucker motel. every surface i touched in every room was at least a little bit sticky. in the nicest/biggest suite they had, the toilet extended too far out for the bathroom door to completely open. they resolved this issue by cutting the shape of the toilet out of the door. so even if it was shut, there was still a bowl-sized hole where you had a perfect view of someone shitting. probably the funniest thing i’ve ever seen in a hotel room. the weirdest room i ever actually stayed in wasn’t necessarily shitty but it had a country schoolhouse/classroom theme that was bizarre. this was a major hotel chain too. one section of the wall was even painted to look like a chalkboard.