What's the extra shit you wished was in Josiah #5?

[fuckwit]

For me it's 3 things:

I would have loved to hear Pat try and defend that Hooligan's soup that looks like someone jizzed into a bowl of liquid shit.

It would've busted my ribs if he childed Josiah about Kyle's varsity athleticism.

Also if we'd known about TorqueWheeler at that point, it would've been an extra 45 hilarious minutes of Pat's trembling almost crying voice as he pretended to be a tough guy.

 

[Opesterino]

I kinda wish Josiah would have went at him a bit harder when Rick started with the "myah myah myah peanut butter" routine. Tho to be honest the tape turned out to be just about perfect. If Josiah would have used harsher language then maybe it would turned away a few of the jannies who were on the fence about which side to back.

Either way it was a work of modern art.

 

[guest]

Gunshot noise

 

[guest]

I wished Josiah could have interviewed Paul Weimer and MM Schill like originally planned. Pity those scenes were cut for budget constraints, maybe in a future episode?

 

[The Talking Dead]

I don't know if this was ever confirmed but wasn't it Rick who called Josiah back after he hung up initially? It's crazy to think he could've just completely denied us any satisfying conclusion to the Apostlegate saga but instead provided us with the greatest conclusion to any piece of media ever.

His 1.2 GPA brain was on full display that day.

 

[guest]

I don't know if this was ever confirmed but wasn't it Rick who called Josiah back after he hung up initially?

it was confirmed in josiah 5 when rick called josiah back after he hung up initially

 

[Cumtown Fags]

I wish @Salted Earth Truffle would come back under an alternative ID and create pointless hypotheticals.

 

[RobertMewler]

I wish @Salted Earth Truffle would come back under an alternative ID and create pointless hypotheticals.

Seriously. What an ingrate. Tape 5 was perfection. Faggots.

 

[OpiesDelishHog]

Burnell mutha’fuckin Tramell

 

[CuntFucker .]

I don't know if this was ever confirmed but wasn't it Rick who called Josiah back after he hung up initially? It's crazy to think he could've just completely denied us any satisfying conclusion to the Apostlegate saga but instead provided us with the greatest conclusion to any piece of media ever.

His 1.2 GPA brain was on full display that day.

Yes. Josiah called Rick and insulted him. Rick hung up to collect his strength, then he called back and claimed the connection cut out because he was drinking in the Eiffel Tower. Calling back was Rick's attempt at taking control and intimidation. In my opinion that didn't work out for him.

 

[AliceWorquer]

Yes. Josiah called Rick and insulted him. Rick hung up to collect his strength, then he called back and claimed the connection cut out because he was drinking in the Eiffel Tower. Calling back was Rick's attempt at taking control and intimidation. In my opinion that didn't work out for him.

That's the best part of the entire saga. Patrick had an out. He could have easily denied everyone the satisfaction of tape 5 and it would have ruined everything. Imagine if it had just ended with josiah saying "fuck, he hung up". The disappointment in his voice is palpable. I can only imagine the glee josiah felt when that fat idiot phoned him back because he thought he could give him the business and win the day. The first four tapes are kind of interesting but they would have just been curious artefacts from a niche laughingstock. Tape 5 made it accessible to outsiders. The weird norman bates regression and the impotent childsplosion gave it the hook it needed to take it to the big leagues and made it one of the most awesome things I've ever heard on the internet, and it was not only completely unnecessary but it was 100% fatricks fault. "Pat" is apparently shorthand for "Pathological"

 

[Ladynyahh]

Yes. Josiah called Rick and insulted him. Rick hung up to collect his strength, then he called back and claimed the connection cut out because he was drinking in the Eiffel Tower. Calling back was Rick's attempt at taking control and intimidation. In my opinion that didn't work out for him.

I like to think Pat hung up, had a full on meltdown and then his Mama Raven personality took over. Something snapped in that brain of his. He turned into a completely different person. Nigga needs to be on some kind of medication

 

[TomFromNawlins]

Nothing extra was needed. Josiah 5 was the great ending that most long-running series failed to provide.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

I like to think Pat hung up, had a full on meltdown and then his Mama Raven personality took over. Something snapped in that brain of his. He turned into a completely different person. Nigga needs to be on some kind of medication

Also note he made sure to always be at hooligans for their scheduled calls so you know he was bragging to the staff / anyone around him about how he was going to be very famous soon due to his 25 page piece in the Huffington Post. I bet before he answered he said out loud “oh! There they are - Huffington Post is on the phone - I have to take this, it’s very important to my major story that’s all about me” etc. only to get tricked and have a meltdown outside of hooligans.

 

[Lard Glug]

Nothing. I don’t look gift horses in the mouth as I’m not a flaming faggot.

 

[TheRevAlJolson]

It's hard to top the perfection that was Josiah 5.

• Pat gets called a fat faggot with bitch tits and has a little panic attack and hangs up
• Pat calls back, delivering some of the worst acting I've ever heard, robotically replying "I can. Yes." when asked if he can hear Josiah
• Pat confirms he already figured out that he's a fat faggot with bitch tits
• "Hrmph... (pause for eternity) Yes, child"
• Pat starts really hiTTing those Ts hard
• Pat channels the spirit of Rue McClanahan to deliver some sass to Josiah
• "Mnah mnah mnah you sound like you have peanut butter on the roof of your mouth"
• "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
• "Little. Infant. Baby. Child." / "Baby. Stupid. Infant. Child."
• "Quasi has already lost"
• "I'm still speaking - you don't get to speak."
• "Shut your fucking mouth you stupid little baby infant"
• "SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUF!"
• "Don't. Speak."
• "...tangenially..." (sic)
• "I am NOT married to a lesbian."
• "I'm ending this conversation now and I'm going to go back in and continue having fun with all of my friends..." then stays on the line to correct the record about enjoying getting ass fucked
• "...I'm into things..."

This is a serious work of perfection. There's nothing I can think of that would make it any better.

 

[Imager]

"You're doing that thing again where your mouth is moving and words are coming out of it"

 

[DMbA]

It's hard to top the perfection that was Josiah 5.

• Pat gets called a fat faggot with bitch tits and has a little panic attack and hangs up
• Pat calls back, delivering some of the worst acting I've ever heard, robotically replying "I can. Yes." when asked if he can hear Josiah
• Pat confirms he already figured out that he's a fat faggot with bitch tits
• "Hrmph... (pause for eternity) Yes, child"
• Pat starts really hiTTing those Ts hard
• Pat channels the spirit of Rue McClanahan to deliver some sass to Josiah
• "Mnah mnah mnah you sound like you have peanut butter on the roof of your mouth"
• "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
• "Little. Infant. Baby. Child." / "Baby. Stupid. Infant. Child."
• "Quasi has already lost"
• "I'm still speaking - you don't get to speak."
• "Shut your fucking mouth you stupid little baby infant"
• "SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUF!"
• "Don't. Speak."
• "...tangenially..." (sic)
• "I am NOT married to a lesbian."
• "I'm ending this conversation now and I'm going to go back in and continue having fun with all of my friends..." then stays on the line to correct the record about enjoying getting ass fucked
• "...I'm into things..."

This is a serious work of perfection. There's nothing I can think of that would make it any better.

What about when he said "you ain't the only one btw", he was likely referring to having another article written by vice right?

 

[Ladynyahh]

It's hard to top the perfection that was Josiah 5.

• Pat gets called a fat faggot with bitch tits and has a little panic attack and hangs up
• Pat calls back, delivering some of the worst acting I've ever heard, robotically replying "I can. Yes." when asked if he can hear Josiah
• Pat confirms he already figured out that he's a fat faggot with bitch tits
• "Hrmph... (pause for eternity) Yes, child"
• Pat starts really hiTTing those Ts hard
• Pat channels the spirit of Rue McClanahan to deliver some sass to Josiah
• "Mnah mnah mnah you sound like you have peanut butter on the roof of your mouth"
• "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
• "Little. Infant. Baby. Child." / "Baby. Stupid. Infant. Child."
• "Quasi has already lost"
• "I'm still speaking - you don't get to speak."
• "Shut your fucking mouth you stupid little baby infant"
• "SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUF!"
• "Don't. Speak."
• "...tangenially..." (sic)
• "I am NOT married to a lesbian."
• "I'm ending this conversation now and I'm going to go back in and continue having fun with all of my friends..." then stays on the line to correct the record about enjoying getting ass fucked
• "...I'm into things..."

This is a serious work of perfection. There's nothing I can think of that would make it any better.

I liked the part where Josiah said he asked him a question during a reddit AMA and Pat goes "no you didn't because you don't get to ask me anything child" or something along those lines. It doesn't make any sense - he asked the question, it happened, it's on Reddit somewhere. Yet that is Pat's comeback - no you didn't ask me a question child. He's so odd, as well as rotund.

 

[Coonskin]

It's hard to top the perfection that was Josiah 5.

• Pat gets called a fat faggot with bitch tits and has a little panic attack and hangs up
• Pat calls back, delivering some of the worst acting I've ever heard, robotically replying "I can. Yes." when asked if he can hear Josiah
• Pat confirms he already figured out that he's a fat faggot with bitch tits
• "Hrmph... (pause for eternity) Yes, child"
• Pat starts really hiTTing those Ts hard
• Pat channels the spirit of Rue McClanahan to deliver some sass to Josiah
• "Mnah mnah mnah you sound like you have peanut butter on the roof of your mouth"
• "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
• "Little. Infant. Baby. Child." / "Baby. Stupid. Infant. Child."
• "Quasi has already lost"
• "I'm still speaking - you don't get to speak."
• "Shut your fucking mouth you stupid little baby infant"
• "SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUF!"
• "Don't. Speak."
• "...tangenially..." (sic)
• "I am NOT married to a lesbian."
• "I'm ending this conversation now and I'm going to go back in and continue having fun with all of my friends..." then stays on the line to correct the record about enjoying getting ass fucked
• "...I'm into things..."

This is a serious work of perfection. There's nothing I can think of that would make it any better.

"You're a fuckin fat faggot"

"No I'm not. That is simply not true."