- Forum Clout
- 350
I went to the same high school as the kid. I think I was only a year behind him, but he had already dropped out to be a carny before I started there, so I never actually crossed paths with him.
-
Reminder: Do not call, text, or mention harrassing someone in real life. Do not encourage it. Do not talk about killing or using violence against anyone, or engaging in any criminal behavior. If it is not an obvious joke even when taken out of context, don't post it. Please report violators.
DMCA, complaints, and other inquiries:
[email protected]
What was your first job.
- Thread starter aRTie02150
- Start date
- Forum Clout
- 2,676
I'm kinda infamous for having multiple jobs, and I even had multiple jobs in elementary school. At my peak, I had three paper routes and won some dopey award for being able to throw newspapers well. (Good hand/eye coordination thanks to constant masturbation)
I'm sorta astounded that I never wound up getting molested or murdered:
1) Everyone wanted their Sunday paper as early as humanly possible, and I didn't want to get up early on Sunday, so I would deliver the papers at 3-4am before going to be. So I was about 12 years old, riding around on my Schwinn, when all of the drunkest drunks were heading home from the bar. There was one night in particular when I was riding my bicycle past a seedy hotel that could be rented by the hour, when some weirdo was pacing my in his Chevy Rape Van. Like, I'm just bicycling along and this creep is pacing me in his van like that's a reasonable thing to do.
2) we had to collect the bills for the newspapers and people would routinely stiff me or yell at me. If the customers didn't pay, it came out of my cut. I have no ideal how/why this was legal. I was 11 or 12, didn't know any better.
3) There was a drunk single Mom who would routinely invite me into her home, whenever I came around to collect the bill. I don't think she owned a bra. Just always coming to the door in panties and a tank top.
- Forum Clout
- 19,404
I NEVER BLEW MORRISSEY!!!!!!
- Forum Clout
- 2,676
Dan Quayle was the butt of many jokes, but he created a "make work" program that was intended to give poors something to do during the summer. I signed up for the program.
Initially, they wanted me to just man a broom. Literally "make work" shit; just collect a paycheck and pretend to be doing something.
There was a skills test and I scored off the charts. I learned how to type when I was seven, when I got my first computer.
There was a woman who worked in the same organization, and this genius managed to kill her husband. Basically she'd backed into traffic without looking, her husband was in the passenger seat, their car got t-boned, and her hubby got smooshed.
They had me take over her project, because nobody else knew anything about computers. So my first "real" job was making databases. Real Doogie Howser type shit, I wasn't even in high school.
My next three jobs after that were all fast food lol, and then I worked in porn for a while.
Initially, they wanted me to just man a broom. Literally "make work" shit; just collect a paycheck and pretend to be doing something.
There was a skills test and I scored off the charts. I learned how to type when I was seven, when I got my first computer.
There was a woman who worked in the same organization, and this genius managed to kill her husband. Basically she'd backed into traffic without looking, her husband was in the passenger seat, their car got t-boned, and her hubby got smooshed.
They had me take over her project, because nobody else knew anything about computers. So my first "real" job was making databases. Real Doogie Howser type shit, I wasn't even in high school.
My next three jobs after that were all fast food lol, and then I worked in porn for a while.
- Forum Clout
- 17,458
My next job was working at a pepper and onion processing plant. $6.20/hr. It was insanely miserable. Either the quality control conveyer belt or the "smashing the pepper core on a metal pole" conveyer belt. Hated the fuck out of that shit. Could go on for hours about how awful it was.
Next job was very brief working on a farm. I tried but it was fucking tough. Moving Syphon tubes by hand is crazy hard and you don't know if you fucked it up til you've spent shitloads of time on it and then you have to start over.
While I was working for that guy Wal Mart called and said I was hired. He was like "yeah you should probably just take that job." He didn't wanna fire me but I clearly wasn't cut out for that type of shit.
Wal-Mart payed about $7.10. I didn't like it at the time but looking back, not so bad. Exercise, fresh air, lots of freedom, hanging out with goofballs. Only problem we had were these fucking goobers(I think they are called "cart simps" nowadays) would finish shopping, and bring their cart full of plastic garbage and shitty food, and put that stuff in their car and after that PUT THEIR CARTS in these metal corral things they had around the parking lot. I guess I can see how people would think "oh, well they're here, I guess we should use them," and NEVER EVER consider the plight of the person whose job it was to go around gathering the carts to line up/organize back in the cart tunnel inside the store for the next customers to use. Whilst I forgive said total and complete shmoes for their thoughtless dismissal, it was still quite a drag for us boots on the ground folks. It was hard work in the 110 degree weather and shit could get exhausting. Man, oh man, there was nothing better than seeing a cart down by the river, or over by the Blockbuster. The only thing better I suppose was getting all the way to the Blockbuster parking lot cart and noticing a cart even FURTHER away by the Dennys. Boy, oh boy, Ted and I would laugh and laugh and get to walk upright without shoving 100s of pounds of carts uphill for a solid 10 minutes. It's deeply troubling that years on, people are going out of their way to ruin the lives of cart pushers by not only putting more and more carts in the cart corrals, but shaming and making internet videos about the good hearted thundercocks that leave their carts by the Dairy Queen or the Country Kitchen. I guess nothing in society is really getting better though, is it, huh gang? Radio/TV/Internet/Government/Food/Cart Simps...all you can really do is better yourself and try to make the world around you a better place, which is why I make music/don't donate money to PBS/support any movement to overthrow the government/grow my own food and protest Monsanto/and push the carts I use as far away as possible from the front door of whatever store I'm patronizing.
Next job was very brief working on a farm. I tried but it was fucking tough. Moving Syphon tubes by hand is crazy hard and you don't know if you fucked it up til you've spent shitloads of time on it and then you have to start over.
While I was working for that guy Wal Mart called and said I was hired. He was like "yeah you should probably just take that job." He didn't wanna fire me but I clearly wasn't cut out for that type of shit.
Wal-Mart payed about $7.10. I didn't like it at the time but looking back, not so bad. Exercise, fresh air, lots of freedom, hanging out with goofballs. Only problem we had were these fucking goobers(I think they are called "cart simps" nowadays) would finish shopping, and bring their cart full of plastic garbage and shitty food, and put that stuff in their car and after that PUT THEIR CARTS in these metal corral things they had around the parking lot. I guess I can see how people would think "oh, well they're here, I guess we should use them," and NEVER EVER consider the plight of the person whose job it was to go around gathering the carts to line up/organize back in the cart tunnel inside the store for the next customers to use. Whilst I forgive said total and complete shmoes for their thoughtless dismissal, it was still quite a drag for us boots on the ground folks. It was hard work in the 110 degree weather and shit could get exhausting. Man, oh man, there was nothing better than seeing a cart down by the river, or over by the Blockbuster. The only thing better I suppose was getting all the way to the Blockbuster parking lot cart and noticing a cart even FURTHER away by the Dennys. Boy, oh boy, Ted and I would laugh and laugh and get to walk upright without shoving 100s of pounds of carts uphill for a solid 10 minutes. It's deeply troubling that years on, people are going out of their way to ruin the lives of cart pushers by not only putting more and more carts in the cart corrals, but shaming and making internet videos about the good hearted thundercocks that leave their carts by the Dairy Queen or the Country Kitchen. I guess nothing in society is really getting better though, is it, huh gang? Radio/TV/Internet/Government/Food/Cart Simps...all you can really do is better yourself and try to make the world around you a better place, which is why I make music/don't donate money to PBS/support any movement to overthrow the government/grow my own food and protest Monsanto/and push the carts I use as far away as possible from the front door of whatever store I'm patronizing.
Last edited:
- Forum Clout
- 114
Cold Stone Creamery at 15. Had to sing songs for people tipping $0.50.
It was an outdoor group interview process and everyone had to do something to display their outgoing personalities. I did the Carlton dance and slipped in the parking lot.
I've never recovered.
It was an outdoor group interview process and everyone had to do something to display their outgoing personalities. I did the Carlton dance and slipped in the parking lot.
I've never recovered.