What are some food habits that annoy you?

[NortheastPhilly]

When people freak out over you eating something in a slightly different way than them.

“Are you eating dry cereal right now? What are you a fucking serial killer?”

“Ranch with your wings?! RED FLAG!”

You arent the one tasting it, so its actually none of your concern you fucking faggot

 

[guest]

It's quite specific, but then this is basically an autism thread so here goes. Usually has to be a cold day. Someone who eats soup or some other "hearty" dish, or drinks a hot cup of tea or hot chocolate or something, and does that self-satisfied "ahhhh" thing afterwards. I want to break a chair over their head. If they slurp it before too - slurp "ahhhh" - I want to give them a Billy Bats stamping with it.

 

[ElectricJigaboo]

Smacking their lips while eating.

 

[guest]

Unrelated but I think you’re Potatopeeler. The car crashes, the writing style, something just seems familiar.

Didn't "he" just delete his account? well that would be pretty psychopathic if true

It's quite specific, but then this is basically an autism thread so here goes. Usually has to be a cold day. Someone who eats soup or some other "hearty" dish, or drinks a hot cup of tea or hot chocolate or something, and does that self-satisfied "ahhhh" thing afterwards. I want to break a chair over their head. If they slurp it before too - slurp "ahhhh" - I want to give them a Billy Bats stamping with it.

Are you an ex-writer for curb or are you doing the seinfeld chinese delivery bit?

[MEDIA=youtube]2ImG1jVimdo[/MEDIA]

 

[guest]

Are you an ex-writer for curb or are you doing the seinfeld chinese delivery bit?

[MEDIA=youtube]2ImG1jVimdo[/MEDIA]

I've never watched either show. It's something that's annoyed/grossed me out since I was a kid.

 

[TomFromNawlins]

Eating in a specific order for the entire meal. Eat a piece of the entree. Eat a piece of the side. Take a small sip of the drink. Repeat with no divergence. Fucking weirdo. Take two bites of your chicken.

Getting all uppity about authenticity. I get wanting to maintain a standard, but you can also allow for some variation and experimentation. The dagos who whine about pineapple on pizza are just the tip of the iceberg on this one. All the ethnics get their backs up about it. Why worry so much over something that you will just shit out later.

Saying other people don’t season dey food when you consider seasoning to be enough salt and sugar to reduce your life expectancy by a decade.

 

[New Name]

Eating in a specific order for the entire meal. Eat a piece of the entree. Eat a piece of the side. Take a small sip of the drink. Repeat with no divergence. Fucking weirdo. Take two bites of your chicken.

Noticing this is crazier than doing it

 

[TomFromNawlins]

Noticing this is crazier than doing it

Not really. Not when the person is so deliberate about it and is the last person finished every time.

 

[SoloJoeAcousticShow]

tastings

it's either you're so good at it because of "supertasting" so nobody will ever relate to your palate, or you will charge people something no sane person is willing to pay for their private amusement

OR

you're heavily autistic, actually less educated about your hobby than the average schlub who eats McDonalds, and have nothing going for you in life, but you invested money into the correct outfit/tools and get pity guests and other freaks who are like you to attend your horrific tastings.

tastings should just be - here you have a selection of 10 very disparate things you can try. if you want to know something, ask questions.
if you like a particular thing, point it out and we give you 5 more things you can try. rinse and repeat.

some foodie guy gushing about something will make me instantly and forever disliking or regret liking it too.
cigar fags are universally accepted and known as the worst offenders with this. coffee guys, whiskey guys, lotsa these kinds of folks i could do without.

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

tastings

it's either you're so good at it because of "supertasting" so nobody will ever relate to your palate, or you will charge people something no sane person is willing to pay for their private amusement

OR

you're heavily autistic, actually less educated about your hobby than the average schlub who eats McDonalds, and have nothing going for you in life, but you invested money into the correct outfit/tools and get pity guests and other freaks who are like you to attend your horrific tastings.

tastings should just be - here you have a selection of 10 very disparate things you can try. if you want to know something, ask questions.
if you like a particular thing, point it out and we give you 5 more things you can try. rinse and repeat.

some foodie guy gushing about something will make me instantly and forever disliking or regret liking it too.
cigar fags are universally accepted and known as the worst offenders with this. coffee guys, whiskey guys, lotsa these kinds of folks i could do without.

I like how you’re supposed to spit out the wine at a wine tasting. Fuck that, I’m here to get loaded.

 

[Turk February]

my biggest pet peeve with food is people who refuse to eat alone. It sounds like a women problem but there's tonnes of men who have this issue too. Table for one is fine, you'll be okay.

 

[PogromStallone]

I really don't get most American's eating habits. The average American chocolate is so far below the average standards here that I have no idea why they eat it. Same for American cheese and yet they seem to have it on absolutely everything. Their pizzas look fucking awful, if anyone here were to get a pizza like that the disappointment would be immeasurable. And for all the sweet stuff they eat, none of it seems to have actual sugar in it which is insane.

My point being, why are Americans so fat when everything they eat is the most un-appetizing shit you can find.

 

[BUBBLER]

Didn't "he" just delete his account? well that would be pretty psychopathic if true


Are you an ex-writer for curb or are you doing the seinfeld chinese delivery bit?

Worse, he's an uppity English nigger

 

[BUBBLER]

my biggest pet peeve with food is people who refuse to eat alone. It sounds like a women problem but there's tonnes of men who have this issue too. Table for one is fine, you'll be okay.

I only sit at the bar alone. Not because I feel uncomfortable at a table by myself but because the food is just an excuse to get loaded

 

[ミスタースパーコル]

“Ranch with your wings?! RED FLAG!”

Both my parents eat pizza with ranch. I never had the genes to succeed.

my biggest pet peeve with food is people who refuse to eat alone. It sounds like a women problem but there's tonnes of men who have this issue too. Table for one is fine, you'll be okay.

I ate alone all throughout highschool and turned out just fine.

My point being, why are Americans so fat when everything they eat is the most un-appetizing shit you can find.

Lack of perspective on good cooking or what less rancid goyslop tastes like.

 

[Turry Precision ™®©]

People just eat too much. Put the fork down. No, you don't need that, you just want it. Try not eating for five more minutes and the feeling will pass.

Gluttons.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

My mom has a lot of things about food that piss me off. There's certain things she makes amazingly well but there's other things she just completely fucks up, but it's actually the way she likes it. She cooks any type of meat until it's dried right the fuck out, she doesn't season anything properly if at all and I think it's from growing up poor in a big family. I gave her a bunch of brisket I made one time and she loved it, then she made her own a while later. She got a store bought dry rub and just barely sprinkled it on one side and wondered why hers wasn't as good. If she makes chicken legs she'll put a squirt of bbq sauce on each one and that's it. Doesn't brush it over or anything.

Another time I had a bunch of people over and I made French dip sandwiches for everyone. They were amazing and everyone loved them except my mom. The meat was perfectly medium rare. I know because I had it on the smoker with one of those fancy probe thermometers you just leave in the meat while it cooks. She saw that the beef was red in the center and started telling everyone that the meat's not cooked enough and they're going to get sick. Everyone was like "it's cooked perfectly." She didn't eat it. It pissed me off that she disassembled the sandwich to check in the first place. She thinks I'm completely incompetent even though I have to make frequent trips to her house to do pretty basic shit for her.

Another time I smoked a pork roast and, again, you can't fuck it up with that thermometer. I was doing something else and she cut into it while it was resting to make sure it was done, didn't understand that the smoke leaves a ring on the meat and put it in the oven. I'm not even ashamed to say I threw it in the garbage, called her a retard and told her to get out of my house. I love my mom but she is a retard and that pissed me off bad.

 

[Dog Eater]

My mom has a lot of things about food that piss me off. There's certain things she makes amazingly well but there's other things she just completely fucks up, but it's actually the way she likes it. She cooks any type of meat until it's dried right the fuck out, she doesn't season anything properly if at all and I think it's from growing up poor in a big family. I gave her a bunch of brisket I made one time and she loved it, then she made her own a while later. She got a store bought dry rub and just barely sprinkled it on one side and wondered why hers wasn't as good. If she makes chicken legs she'll put a squirt of bbq sauce on each one and that's it. Doesn't brush it over or anything.

Another time I had a bunch of people over and I made French dip sandwiches for everyone. They were amazing and everyone loved them except my mom. The meat was perfectly medium rare. I know because I had it on the smoker with one of those fancy probe thermometers you just leave in the meat while it cooks. She saw that the beef was red in the center and started telling everyone that the meat's not cooked enough and they're going to get sick. Everyone was like "it's cooked perfectly." She didn't eat it. It pissed me off that she disassembled the sandwich to check in the first place. She thinks I'm completely incompetent even though I have to make frequent trips to her house to do pretty basic shit for her.

Another time I smoked a pork roast and, again, you can't fuck it up with that thermometer. I was doing something else and she cut into it while it was resting to make sure it was done, didn't understand that the smoke leaves a ring on the meat and put it in the oven. I'm not even ashamed to say I threw it in the garbage, called her a retard and told her to get out of my house. I love my mom but she is a retard and that pissed me off bad.

1. You shouldn’t kick your mom out of your house if you love her.
2. Don’t worry I’ll show her how a thermometer works in roast beef.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

1. You shouldn’t kick your mom out of your house if you love her.
2. Don’t worry I’ll show her how a thermometer works in roast beef.

I do love her but she's a dickhead and ruined something I spent like 4+ hours on. I was injecting apple juice into the fucking thing to make it all juicy and she completely drained it by cutting into it immediately and for no other reason than she just doesn't trust me not to fuck anything up. If I expected her to destroy the main event food I was making I would've just got a fucking pizza or something.

 

[Dog Eater]

I do love her but she's a dickhead and ruined something I spent like 4+ hours on. I was injecting apple juice into the fucking thing to make it all juicy and she completely drained it by cutting into it immediately and for no other reason than she just doesn't trust me not to fuck anything up. If I expected her to destroy the main event food I was making I would've just got a fucking pizza or something.

I’m guessing this is a recurring problem between you two, where she doesn’t acknowledge that you’re capable of doing things well.