Watched Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

[Jims_Maroon_Pants]

It's very gay. It's also very obvious by how rushed the last couple minutes feel that they reshot the ending because there was another leak that was honestly even gayer ending.

What was the gayer ending?

 

[Meownaw]

I got chills.

 

[LiberalPussy]

What was the gayer ending?

I think where young Indy in the past, thus erasing old Indy from existence. So the Hole has to do everything Indy did in the movies, but better because she has a cunt.

 

[Cuphead]

What was the gayer ending?

So this was all rumored but

Spoiler

Indy was going to stay/die in the past and his goddaughter was going to take his place in history doing everything in the previous movies to not change the course of history

Apparently that's just one of the rumored endings. They say Disney test a few and they all tanked during test screenings. With how rushed the final few minutes feel I believe it.

 

[Jims_Maroon_Pants]

So this was all rumored but

Spoiler

Indy was going to stay/die in the past and his goddaughter was going to take his place in history doing everything in the previous movies to not change the course of history

Apparently that's just one of the rumored endings. They say Disney test a few and they all tanked during test screenings. With how rushed the final few minutes feel I believe it.

Oh God that's terrible

 

[Cuphead]

Oh God that's terrible

I really hope it flops as bad as they say this weekend. This shit is more soulless than the Star Wars sequels and MCU shit

 

[LingerLonger]

I think where young Indy in the past, thus erasing old Indy from existence. So the Hole has to do everything Indy did in the movies, but better because she has a cunt.

It was actually scripted out so that she goes back and replaces all of the things that Indiana Jones did in the original films so as not to break continuity. Now obviously this makes absolutely no sense and is ridiculous but most time travel movies are beyond idiotic with their chronological rules. Stuff like Terminator calls apart completely when actually take two seconds to think about things. But in essence she becomes Indiana Jones and lives out his entire life as if he never existed.

This was setting up for a new Indiana Jones Disney+ series starring the female lead. That would start where the movie ended. However Disney now realizes that Disney+ is killing their entire business model. As now no one goes to the theater anymore or buys anything on DVD/Bluray anymore because they can get it on Disney+. So they just wait for the movies to hit streaming instead of going to the theater. But streaming makes no money for any of these companies as the hosting costs are insane. And now because no one goes to the theater they are barely making money there.

The craziest part of this is that the Indiana Jones film made $60million in three days yet is projected to be a massive bomb. Because one it leaves theaters it cannot make money off of streaming or DVD/Bluray like stuff did in the past.

 

[Cuphead]

It was actually scripted out so that she goes back and replaces all of the things that Indiana Jones did in the original films so as not to break continuity. Now obviously this makes absolutely no sense and is ridiculous but most time travel movies are beyond idiotic with their chronological rules. Stuff like Terminator calls apart completely when actually take two seconds to think about things. But in essence she becomes Indiana Jones and lives out his entire life as if he never existed.

This was setting up for a new Indiana Jones Disney+ series starring the female lead. That would start where the movie ended. However Disney now realizes that Disney+ is killing their entire business model. As now no one goes to the theater anymore or buys anything on DVD/Bluray anymore because they can get it on Disney+. So they just wait for the movies to hit streaming instead of going to the theater. But streaming makes no money for any of these companies as the hosting costs are insane. And now because no one goes to the theater they are barely making money there.

The craziest part of this is that the Indiana Jones film made $60million in three days yet is projected to be a massive bomb. Because one it leaves theaters it cannot make money off of streaming or DVD/Bluray like stuff did in the past.

There is no way that Disney+ will happen. This shit is flopping worse than The Flash according to numbers today.

 

[LingerLonger]

There is no way that Disney+ will happen. This shit is flopping worse than The Flash according to numbers today.

I can't see how any streaming service can even make money. The costs are impossible to recoup. And streaming services essentially reduce theatrical income and DVD/Bluray sales to nothing. I would bet that every single streaming service operates at a loss including Netflix which is clearly being propped up by some investors (Saudi/UAE money most likely).

 

[Dennyislife]

Not as ridiculous as the shit that's in this one

It had Nazis hunting down magic god boxes. It's always had a huge element of the supernatural. Didn't he get possessed in temple of doom in some kinda blood cult with magical stones? Wasn't there an immortal knight in one? People who take a fun adventure film seriously are hilarious

 

[LiberalPussy]

It had Nazis hunting down magic god boxes. It's always had a huge element of the supernatural. Didn't he get possessed in temple of doom in some kinda blood cult with magical stones? Wasn't there an immortal knight in one? People who take a fun adventure film seriously are hilarious

Fun is the key word, child. This new movie is nothing of the kind.

In any case Indiana Jones is kike propaganda.

 

[Dennyislife]

Fun is the key word, child. This new movie is nothing of the kind.

In any case Indiana Jones is kike propaganda.

People watching it as adults don't have the same nostalgic and youthful enjoyment. I bet if someone in their 50s had never seen Indiana Jones they would rate them all around the same.

 

[LiberalPussy]

People watching it as adults don't have the same nostalgic and youthful enjoyment. I bet if someone in their 50s had never seen Indiana Jones they would rate them all around the same.

My father is a massive fan of those films. If anything, one problem with Indy is it’s always been the boomer franchise. Particularly since it’s tied to an aging actor.

 

[Cuphead]

My father is a massive fan of those films. If anything, one problem with Indy is it’s always been the boomer franchise. Particularly since it’s tied to an aging actor.

Nobody wanted to see a 60 year old Indiana Jones. Of course they don't want to see him at 80 either

 

[Queefer Sutherland]

Why wasn't Jack Black a sidekick instead?

 

[Meownaw]

Why wasn't Jack Black a sidekick instead?

That would probably be entertaining honestly.

 

[SensibleKeks]

Spoiler: Like this

Spoiler: the third act

So in the climax they learn that the dial of destiny can open up a portal that takes you to a specific place back in time which in this case is 1939 before Hitlers death. Madds Milkensen's character wants to go back so he can kill Hitler and then lead the Nazi's to win WW2. However, because of continental drift the portal takes them all the way back to the battle of Syracuse in the ancient times (212 BC). The villian and his henchman then all die when the plane gets destroyed by the roman army, but Indy and his godaughter survive by parachuting from the plane (you can see this in the trailer). They then meet Archmiedes who gives them back the dial. They then get ready to leave to return to the present, but Indy (who I also forgot to mention got shot before they went through the portal) begs her to leave him there so he can in peace and become a part of history. She knocks him out (screen literally cuts to black after she punches him) and then he wakes up back in New York. Sallah and his goddaughter and spic Short Round all show up to greet him, but then Marion shows up too and they reunite while everyone else goes out for ice cream. The movie then ends with an iris shot closing in on Indy's hate and he grabs it before it closes. End credits.

So Indiana Jones goes back in time to prevent someone from killing Hitler? Kinda based.

 

[Chapel]

Why wasn't Jack Black a sidekick instead?

Because he’s a talentless, unfunny, fat bastard piece of shit, funster

 

[Queefer Sutherland]

Because he’s a talentless, unfunny, fat bastard piece of shit, funster

But the movies almost have the same name. He needs to sue Disney.

 

[Meownaw]

Because he’s a talentless, unfunny, fat bastard piece of shit, funster

He was good in Bernie *sniff*.