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Watched Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

Cuphead

Formerly know as Fat Abbot
Forum Clout
53,288
I knew it was going to be awful going in, but somehow Disney managed to make an even bigger piece of shit than Crystal Skull by far. It's honestly one of the most boring and dull blockbusters I've ever seen with almost nothing that resembles the other movies. Most of it is just boring and uninspired chase scenes. I've liked James Mangold's other movies, but even the movie from a production stand point looks like shit. The god daughter character was fucking atrocious and they even give him a shitty Mexican short round rip off that can fly planes and shit, cause the sidekicks this time have to do everything better than Indy because he's old! Even the villains are forgettable as shit and don't even get a cool death. Also, if you though aliens were dumb, the fucking shit they pull in the third act is even more ridiculous and stupid. Really can't think of a single redeeming quality about it.

 
G

guest

Guest
I knew it was going to be awful going in, but somehow Disney managed to make an even bigger piece of shit than Crystal Skull by far. It's honestly one of the most boring and dull blockbusters I've ever seen with almost nothing that resembles the other movies. Most of it is just boring and uninspired chase scenes. I've liked James Mangold's other movies, but even the movie from a production stand point looks like shit. The god daughter character was fucking atrocious and they even give him a shitty Mexican short round rip off that can fly planes and shit, cause the sidekicks this time have to do everything better than Indy because he's old! Even the villains are forgettable as shit and don't even get a cool death. Also, if you though aliens were dumb, the fucking shit they pull in the third act is even more ridiculous and stupid. Really can't think of a single redeeming quality about it.

[MEDIA=youtube]MWl2Zgd0Qpk[/MEDIA]
I loved that show. I know John Lovitz is an old hack but he smashed Andy Dick’s face in and created enough schlock entertainment to make me laugh. Grade: good egg.
 

Cuphead

Formerly know as Fat Abbot
Forum Clout
53,288
Just spoiler tag it I'm dying to know.
feed nana[/SPOILER
Just spoiler tag it I'm dying to know.
feed nana
So in the climax they learn that the dial of destiny can open up a portal that takes you to a specific place back in time which in this case is 1939 before Hitlers death. Madds Milkensen's character wants to go back so he can kill Hitler and then lead the Nazi's to win WW2. However, because of continental drift the portal takes them all the way back to the battle of Syracuse in the ancient times (212 BC). The villian and his henchman then all die when the plane gets destroyed by the roman army, but Indy and his godaughter survive by parachuting from the plane (you can see this in the trailer). They then meet Archmiedes who gives them back the dial. They then get ready to leave to return to the present, but Indy (who I also forgot to mention got shot before they went through the portal) begs her to leave him there so he can in peace and become a part of history. She knocks him out (screen literally cuts to black after she punches him) and then he wakes up back in New York. Sallah and his goddaughter and spic Short Round all show up to greet him, but then Marion shows up too and they reunite while everyone else goes out for ice cream. The movie then ends with an iris shot closing in on Indy's hate and he grabs it before it closes. End credits.
 

Jims_Maroon_Pants

Joe's Geek Squad Technician
Forum Clout
69,380
So in the climax they learn that the dial of destiny can open up a portal that takes you to a specific place back in time which in this case is 1939 before Hitlers death. Madds Milkensen's character wants to go back so he can kill Hitler and then lead the Nazi's to win WW2. However, because of continental drift the portal takes them all the way back to the battle of Syracuse in the ancient times (212 BC). The villian and his henchman then all die when the plane gets destroyed by the roman army, but Indy and his godaughter survive by parachuting from the plane (you can see this in the trailer). They then meet Archmiedes who gives them back the dial. They then get ready to leave to return to the present, but Indy (who I also forgot to mention got shot before they went through the portal) begs her to leave him there so he can in peace and become a part of history. She knocks him out (screen literally cuts to black after she punches him) and then he wakes up back in New York. Sallah and his goddaughter and spic Short Round all show up to greet him, but then Marion shows up too and they reunite while everyone else goes out for ice cream. The movie then ends with an iris shot closing in on Indy's hate and he grabs it before it closes. End credits.
Wow that's fucking gay
 
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