G
guest
Guest
"Next time cook slightly longer at a slightly lower temperature"
Translation: The outside was completely burned whilst the inside completely raw
-
One of our providers had a network outage. It wasn't our fault for once. From now on, if the site is down, a notice will be posted to payquasi.lol. If you don't see anything there, send an email to [email protected] and alert us that the site is down.
Reminder: Do not call, text, or mention harrassing someone in real life. Do not encourage it. Do not talk about killing or using violence against anyone, or engaging in any criminal behavior. If it is not an obvious joke even when taken out of context, don't post it. Please report violators.
DMCA, complaints, and other inquiries:
[email protected]
Tomlinson’s Deli - coming soon August 2024
- Thread starter Honey Badger
- Start date
Translation: The outside was completely burned whilst the inside completely raw
- Forum Clout
- 98,046
"Breakfast from 11AM - 3PM" 
- Forum Clout
- 18,076
It's so baffling and the Wellington infuriates me way more than it should. The whole execution from start to finish was just so Patrick. He's had wellington many times and loves it, but his version is going to specifically do away with all the things that everybody accepts make it unique and worthy of showing off as a marker of good taste and skill because he just thinks he can do it better.
No Pâté, no evidence of what went in the duxelles, no rare meat, no decoration, no evidence of the stages of prep that make it delicious in the first place, incomprehensible sides. Just a photo of a burnt, shitty looking beef pie thing, and an insistance that it was really delicious. And you know in his mind this one shitty wellington elevates him among chefs, the same way his trip to auschwitz elevated him among holocaust scholars, and his dad's alleged jobs elevate him among cocksucking faggots.
A well done wellington is a failure. There is no getting around that. It's not a dish that you're supposed to tweak to suit a retard's unsophisticated palate, and that's why it's a measure of skill and excellence. It's like baking a really complicated cake that's supposed to have an almost universally well defined outcome that doesn't involve charred pastry and well done beef. Wellingtons are only even considered benchmarks dishes because there is an unusually complex interaction of chemical processes involved in cooking all the ingredients well, so it needs to be managed to perfection but someone who doesn't default to thinking that overdone steak is "delicious".
I'm no Michelin starred chef myself. I like good food, but sometimes I eat ridiculous meals too especially if I'm on my own and being lazy. Sometimes my girl might ask what I'm having for dinner and ill send her a picture of some sad, weird little plate of bachelor food and we'll have a good old laugh at it. Its not even as bad as toast and corn but I can't imagine how disturbed my mind would have to be to post those pictures to social media thinking they are food porn.
- Forum Clout
- 75,995
- Forum Clout
- 6,500
The charcuterie one was probably my favorite. There’s absolutely no shame in buying a crafted one from a store. It’s fun, simple and you’d think that being from the cheese state there would be some really good artisan cheese doing something cool with local dairy. Plus being surrounded by all sorts of Germans, Italians and Nordic folk there’d be some good smoked /cured meats. That wasn’t even charcuterie, it was a deconstructed cheese sandwich with fruits.
- Forum Clout
- 7,954
What's funny is that if he really doesn't like the components of a beef wellington, it's still possible to make something better suited to his tastes that's actually edible, but he's too fucking stupid/stubborn to ponder how to actually do that. He could've just slow cooked some beef short ribs (or even chuck roast) in whatever spices he wants, wrap it up with some crisp bacon in puff pastry and bake. He could even post the finished uncut product and say it's a Wellington, and nobody would be the wiser. But he just assumed the first thought that occurred in his brain was the correct one, and bumbled his way through it.
- Forum Clout
- 37,264
Wasn't the Wellington his stay home alone Xmas dinner?
- Forum Clout
- 109,995
Millions of pests all over the country, brotherman
- Forum Clout
- 109,995
Those lightsaber chopsticks are an abomination.This really is fucking funny. I hope we'll see future additions to the menu like...
...this Thanksgiving special.
A variety of chicken and Asian dishes (Lightsaber chopsticks are a must.)
This curry (?) plated by someone with severe autism...
...and whatever the fuck kind of slop is going on here.
Need to source that whisky they age in barrels at sea too.
You know he immediately ditched those for a spoon
- Forum Clout
- 109,995
- Forum Clout
- 109,995
Did yours also leak all over the place while baking, indicating a lack of patience to tightly wrap the thing
- Forum Clout
- 11,077
I don't know what annoys me more, he is so fucking hatable:
1) Light saber chopsticks
2) Drinking CORONA....teehee because coronaVIRUS!
3)Anti- racist chink slop
- Forum Clout
- 8,659
No, because there is no way in hell he actually ate it. He rushed to post the photo, and then found himself unable to saw into it, and just ordered a pizza. Or two. Because he’s a glutton.
- Forum Clout
- 9,950
Those dishes FUCKING. STINK.
- Forum Clout
- 41,806
Fuck, how did I miss this?
It legitimately makes me angry that he wrapped his abomination of a beef wellington in black forest ham instead of prosciutto, or better yet, jamon iberico or something really nice like that.
The whole point of making something yourself is that you can mix it up and use better ingredients than what the recipe calls for. And instead he uses black forest ham, which probably came prepackaged and not even from the deli. Black forest ham is nothing like prosciutto. I fucking hate this guy.
It legitimately makes me angry that he wrapped his abomination of a beef wellington in black forest ham instead of prosciutto, or better yet, jamon iberico or something really nice like that.
The whole point of making something yourself is that you can mix it up and use better ingredients than what the recipe calls for. And instead he uses black forest ham, which probably came prepackaged and not even from the deli. Black forest ham is nothing like prosciutto. I fucking hate this guy.
- Forum Clout
- 93,323
He would never eat that. Egg isn’t scrambled.:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/Minute-Steak-and-Egg-with-Red-Hot-Butter-Sauce-2000-884d880ba1394713bde6061b4b779acc.jpg)
Steak Tartare - Patstyle.
- Forum Clout
- 41,806
Honestly, that looks pretty tasty. I don't see unshelled pistachios or cinnamon sticks, so that can't be a Pat special.
Steak Tartare - Patstyle.
- Forum Clout
- 19,713
That he insisted they serve him scrambled egg at a fancy restaurant in Paris is legit disgusting.
- Forum Clout
- 39,842
Served my ribs with a side of locally sourced coleslaw. Fucking comedy gold, down to the four sharpies.
Pat tells everyone we obsessively stalk and swat him here, when what he's actually threatening prison over is this.
Pat tells everyone we obsessively stalk and swat him here, when what he's actually threatening prison over is this.