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It's 8pm. Lunch time.
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The Abe Vigoda Canadian Thanksgiving Spectacular Megathread
- Thread starter TheGhostOfAbeVigoda
- Start date
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It's almost midnight. Lunchtime again.
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I never found my fireside friend. It's in the woods somewhere. I gotta drop $60. There's a Fiskar's one that's like half the weight that's supposed to work pretty well but it's gay looking and I'm kind of an Estwing guy anyway.
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Fiskars are insanely good axes. The hollow handle really keeps the vibrations down and the heads can take a really good edge. If you're just splitting kindling it might be overkill, though.
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When I was a bum in the woods my Fiskar's splitting axe was my multi tool
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The little hatchet I use all the time is Fiskars and it is great. I still have my big ass splitting maul but I'm starting to think that's how I keep fucking my elbow up. I'm getting old and it's fucking gay as hell.
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There's some fag on a crotch rocket that keeps hauling ass down my road. It's loud as fuck and backfires constantly. I'm tempted to dump a bunch of grass clippings in the road but I can't be that evil.
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Gave my dad an electric chainsaw and a log splitter, mostly so that he's less inclined to call me a fuckin' sissy for using one too.
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My buddy has some DeWalt battery chainsaw and it's a piece of shit. I get annoyed when I see it. Like "get a real one for fuck's sake." Every battery circular saw I've ever used is similarly a piece of shit, but that chainsaw pisses me off. It is better than no chainsaw though.
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My buddy has a Makita that takes two batteries. It's surprisingly decent for bucking shit up down by the river. It cuts a lot more than you'd think before the batteries die.
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This fucking Dewalt thing seems to die half way through every cut. And not die all the way, unless the battery is FULL full it just runs out of balls and stops. He's like weirdly proud of it too. He got visibly bothered one time when I picked him up to clear a bunch of shit, he went to put it in my truck and I was like "You might as well leave that thing here. I brought a gas one."
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Have you ever crashed an airplane in the middle of the wilderness with nothing but your hatchet to help you survive?
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Yeah the Makita will stall out if you push too hard but I'm a firm believer in letting the saw do the work so it's fine by me. They also make a quick cut that takes two batteries and it's fine. Gas is better but in a pinch it does the jawb
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I fucking HATE listening to women slam shit around. Why the fuck do they need to shake the whole fucking house when they do fucking ANYTHING?
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Yes. And why do they use a half roll of toilet paper every time they use the bathroom?
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I'm at my mom's because I'm house sitting. She's making me a fuckload of wings before she leaves and she's being ridiculously fucking loud about it. THIS WILL NOT STAND. It's autistic-hit-myself-in-the-head-like-Rainman-freakout time.
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How did you forgive the bitch after she, out of hatred, tried to kill you with fish bones? You're a bitch if you're not seeking revenge.
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Because she's my mother. She's like a brother to me.
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I'm hungry as fuck and there better not be any fucking tuna bones in these wings or I'm gonna fucking shit.