The Abe Vigoda Canadian Thanksgiving Spectacular Megathread

[Turk February]

"That's not a pan. That's a bowl."

HE'S SAYING WHAT WE'RE ALL THINKING

I'm a man of the people. That's why the CBC made me make this channel.

 

[T-t-t-Terry!]

Your voice is awful. I'm just stating objective facts

 

[T-t-t-Terry!]

You're not at Josh Moon levels of aural abuse but it's pretty close. Have you tried to do anything with that?

 

[Turk February]

You're not at Josh Moon levels of aural abuse but it's pretty close. Have you tried to do anything with that?

Yes, I tried to do a show with Boq where I'm the comedic relief that I thought would be really funny and he called me a liability and shut it down. I'll be posting more song parodies later cuz I got nothing to do with them now.

 

[T-t-t-Terry!]

No I meant to stop sounding like that. I used to be a bit of a mushmouth with stupid inflections myself but I worked on it

 

[Turk February]

You can tell how genuinely upset I am by him backing out by how often I bring it up.

 

[T-t-t-Terry!]

I'm not going to let this go

 

[Turk February]

No I meant to stop sounding like that. I used to be a bit of a mushmouth with stupid inflections myself but I worked on it

Dude. I am just happy I got bullied out of my accent and don't sound like my family. I know my voice is unpleasant but it's part of the charm.

 

[T-t-t-Terry!]

it's part of the charm

It's really not

 

[Turk February]

When I was a kid I rolled my Rs and shit. I didn't know the word for "wasp". Just got beaten up until my Canadian accent got right. Weirdly am grateful for it.

 

[T-t-t-Terry!]

If I didn't get bullied I'd be even more intolerable tbh. I deserved it then and I deserve it now

 

[Turk February]

If I didn't get bullied I'd be even more intolerable tbh. I deserved it then and I deserve it now

My worst bully was a guy named Brandon and I saw him when I was older. Confronted him when selling him cigarettes. "We all liked you" Then I got it.

 

[T-t-t-Terry!]

Sullen little russkie Turk is a rib-buster

"Please to be not giving me the Charlie horse. Blyat."

 

[Turk February]

Sullen little russkie Turk is a rib-buster

"Please to be not giving me the Charlie horse. Blyat."

Little Turk was being pelted with rocks and beaten with sticks. But then I learned everyone in my neighborhood was.

 

[Turk February]

In other words I wasn't being excluded. I was just one of the guys.

 

[T-t-t-Terry!]

Yeah that's the game in small town Canada. If we weren't trying to kill each other directly we were daring each other to jump off a cliff or run down the side of the gravel pit

 

[Turk February]

Yeah that's the game in small town Canada. If we weren't trying to kill each other directly we were daring each other to jump off a cliff or run down the side of the gravel pit

We used to play a game where you'd sit on another guys back and try to punch the other guy off the others back in elementary school. Teachers never stopped us. It's just Ontario.

 

[Turk February]

I was actually pretty good at it. Its how I slowly earned the respect of the bullies in grade 6.

 

[T-t-t-Terry!]

We used to play a game where you'd sit on another guys back and try to punch the other guy off the others back in elementary school. Teachers never stopped us. It's just Ontario.

Jousting is a time-honored tradition. We'd drip wax on pinecones, light those fuckers up and throw them at each other in the woods. Some old guy came and was ready to beat our ten year old asses over that one

 

[Turk February]

3 Pm rolls around. I'm on the flag football team. I have a black eye. 6th grade ruled.