The Abe Vigoda Canadian Thanksgiving Spectacular Megathread

[Turk February]

Sadly looking out the window wondering if things could have been different. Wanting to cry but not doing it cuz you can't show weakness in prison.

 

[Turry Precision ™®©]

I heard on the radio that drones have really revolutionized smuggling things into prison. I don't know if they could handle a penis chinese penis but I'd be willing to try

 

[Turk February]

It's raining and we're both in the prison yard waiting for a penis chinese penis drone. A phone buzzes in my asshole "it will have to be tomorrow"

 

[Turry Precision ™®©]

That's okay. The rain will hide our tears and we can blame the shivering on the cold.

 

[Turry Precision ™®©]

Desperately whistling and yelling "Here boy!" at the fence line because we're sick of dog piss from concentrate

 

[Turk February]

Gently embrace. It's not gay. We're in here forever.

 

[Turk February]

I know it's not quite right but I got some racoon piss.

 

[Turry Precision ™®©]

Abe finally crosses the tundra in a kayak, blows the gate open with tannerite but it's too late. We don't know how to live on the outside.

It's been two weeks.

 

[Turk February]

Abe finally crosses the tundra in a kayak, blows the gate open with tannerite but it's too late. We don't know how to live on the outside.

It's been two weeks.

Judge agrees no crime has been committed but I'm already so fucked up they can't release me cuz of all the drones.

 

[Turry Precision ™®©]

They finally just send us to re-education camp with the lobster man. He commits suicide hours later so they let us run the program.

 

[Turk February]

They finally just send us to re-education camp with the lobster man. He commits suicide hours later so they let us run the program.

Well you see sirs, hatred prevails when we don't drink piss. We just become counsellors for some reason

 

[Turry Precision ™®©]

"It's like you have to step out of the shadow of your father and milk the dog yourself, y'knowwww?"

"No Jordan. We don't know. Now lay down and we're going to teach you how to 96"

 

[Turk February]

Jordan Peterson taught a generation of young men to make their beds so that they can be pissed and shit on, important stuff.

 

[Turry Precision ™®©]

Imagine going to Russia to be put into a coma to kick your penis chinese penis habit. He wasn't even halfway to being oriental. More like Jordan Nortonson

 

[Turry Precision ™®©]

Farting on the back of JBP's head while he tearfully fashions a noose out of shoelaces is such a good bit we should reunite KITH to see it realized.

 

[Turk February]

Farting on the back of JBP's head while he tearfully fashions a noose out of shoelaces is such a good bit we should reunite KITH to see it realized.

Jack Layton could famously do a 76. Widely considered an impossible sexual position.

 

[Turk February]

I love that @TheGhostOfAbeVigoda had to read all of that and evaluate it for funny.

 

[Turry Precision ™®©]

Jack Layton was a coward who could only handle vagina Chinese vagina. Typical NDP bullshit.

 

[Turk February]

Jack Layton was a coward who could only handle vagina Chinese vagina. Typical NDP bullshit.

I don't know. One time he did nude traditional wrestling with Harper and he did pretty good.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Sorry fellas I'm hanging out with a whoore.