Sadly, none of this is true except for the fact that he is 42, and will be eating dinner later (alone at Hooligan's most likely)

fusciasomething

Jacques De Gautier
Considering both vm’s and texts are equally as sincere at this point I’d be annoyed as shit with dozens of vm’s (which is clearly not true). How does Rick lie every day and continue to get worse at it? Wet brained fat fuck
 

Easily_Remembered

Danny Ross is a thin skinned bitch
42 years old.

No job. Your only identity is that of the perpetual victim. The only thing of lasting value and merit that you have created in your life is your daughter, who you eschewed quicker than Weimer dismisses a fully developed body.

Your wife is a dissatisfied lesbian who numbs herself with alcohol, your stand up career was left burning in ruins like viable embryos in a fire, your debt is so egregious and growing that your attempts to hide it are increasingly futile, your writing career is as dead and barren as Nikki's womb, more and more people are seeing through your "tough guy" guise to the coward underneath, and your only lasting legacy will be that of the biggest lolcow since Chris Chan - possibly bigger.

Nice life, stupid. Happy birthday I guess.
 

CaroIMaxheinie

Carol Munoz
“Prezzies” says the unemployed failed author and noted fat fun run cheat.
He also wants to make sure you know that dozens of family and friends have given him well wishes. If he were wired like a normal human being I'd think he was actually experiencing loneliness but I know he only cares that other people think he's popular because that's what makes Momma's Special Boy so special.
 

NikkisCrustyGusset

I am the crispy white spot in your soul
I hate presents. Special occasions should be about moments with people, but it's all just become about people buying shit to keep kicking up money to the head jew. Fuck this empty materialistic faggot.
I am a sucker for cards. I don't really care about presents, although for my bday on Sunday my missus did get me a raspberry pi 4 and a bit of kit for it, a big tub of protein powder I like and ordered The Batman on BR, like ALL that stuff I will use and I want. I can't get over how a 200 quid Lego set is a good present. For a kid d maybe. And the way Lego makes this stuff is cool but once it's made it's just a bit on the shelf. And not a talking point because they've no friends to invite over...

If it's about being an author then get a little 3d printed typewriter from Etsy and buy a nice or signed edition of his favourite book. The cunt is always going on about how smart he is AND he's an alky so buy him one of those bottles of nice whiskey in a wood and rope puzzle case. Or get a lovely set of hardback, leather bound editions of his books made. Or pay for a good artist he likes to design the cover for his next book.
Get him a Cameo from a celeb or voice actor he likes to read out some of his work...

(fucking hell 5 mins and I can think of better presents for him than his wife)

The only reason I acknowledged mine or did anything of note was because it was Easter Sunday. I never posted on IG or FB about it and certainly can't ever see mee needed to keep hounding people on twitter to acknowledge it and fucking praise me or something....
That's what he wants... He wants someone to reply :

'oh wow that's amazing Happy Birthday Patrick, congratulations, what are you doing? I bet you got lovely gifts? What did you get? I bet you are having a wonderful time, again, congratulations Patrick, this will be an amazing year for you I just know it. 🥂 🎉 🎉🥂 🎂''
 
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